It's the end of the world as we know it...

2006-04-30T09:24:00.000-05:00

So I'm at the Indians game Friday night (we have the fireworks package; our seats are pretty sweet, about 15 rows from the field, right at right field). Anyway, there are 2 guys in front of us, and one of them has a shirt on with a bunch of writing on it. My friend asks this guy what his shirt said (we couldn't make it out). He tells us that it's the name of the guy who owned the Indians way back when, their first owner. I asked him if he had owned the Spiders (the Cleveland team first who disappeared in 1899) or literally the Indians (came into existence a couple years later in 1901.) He starts calling me ESPN Classic.

We're talking, turns out he's 22. As in, years old. But he's sweet, and comments that my sports knowledge, tongue ring, and age are all hot. So basically, he's all complimentary, and as he's 22, that's sorta fun. (Hey, I am a girl...) When my friend and I mentioned we were attorneys, he asked for our cards. I gave him my (personal) card because that's all I have on me. He asked if that was my cell number and if he could call me. Despite the fact that he's 22, I said sure. (I'm not much into age differences, either signiicantly younger or older.) During the fireworks (actual fireworks, people!) he again asks if he can call me and if I have a boyfriend. I say yes and no respectively. Game ends, we leave. My friend and I go to the bar to meet some of my friends for a birthday celebration. Fun stuff. He calls while I'm at the bar, we briefly talk but it's hard to hear at the bar and I ultimately lost reception.

The next day, he calls around 11 *am* but I'm busy (actually, I'm at the bar. But a different bar than I was when he called 12 hours earlier. I'm registering teams for a scavenger hunt. I tell him I'll call him when I get a chance, and do several hours later, leaving a VM. Around 11 pm he calls again and we are talking, He asks when I'll next be at the Indians game, and says he doesn't want to wait until mid-May to see me, can he come up next weekend. Sure, fine. (I know, I know, 22...) He then tells me to call his friend about a testical festival that he went to (I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried). Ok, fine, whatever. (By the way, I had never even heard of a testical festival so I Googled it and came to some frightening things.)

So I call his friend, and as I don't remember his friend's name (we didn't really talk at the game), when he answers, I say, "it's Stephanie, from the Indians game last night." He remembers me b/c he calls me ESPN Classic. So we start talking, and during this conversation with the friend, a few interesting things happen: (1) he reveals that the 22-year-old has a girlfriend (who, incidentally, made them come home after the game because she heard the two of them talking about us); (2) the 22-year-old calls me to see why I didn't call him back after calling his friend; and (3) the friend asked me out.

All of which leave me convinced that men are the most confusing, disturbing creatures ever.

However, women may be the most immature creatures ever. We were at dinner Saturday and our friend freaks out how he has to leave without his food because he has a date. (It took over an hour to get our food.) Big mistake. After quizzing about the girl, we spend time trying to figure out where his date is. He won't tell us, but he's not much of a poker player, so we think we've figured it out. He leaves, we eat, we go to meet some friends at another bar, and at the bar, my friend and I get this great idea to walk to the bar where we believe his date is. We don't want to say anything to him or her, we just want him to see us so that he wonders if we will. You know, make him squirm a bit. So we do that and see him at te bar, sitting by the window. We walk by slowly but aren't sure if he sees us, so walk by a second time. Slowly. This time, he sees us for sure, because he "stretches" and flicks us off. It was very smooth and I doubt she even noticed. Awesome. We literally could not stop giggling. Oh my god, we are so immature. It was awesome.

2006-04-24T16:34:00.000-05:00

HEY CLEVELANDERS! Remeber to check out the Progress Cleveland: Regionalism event this Wednesday at 6 pm. It's moderated by Sam Fulwood III of the Plain Dealer. The panelists are George Forbes, Esq., Professor Norm Krumholtz (CSU), Mayor Tom Longo (Garfield Heights) & Elizabeth Stoops (Voices & Choices). Member admission is $10.00 (nonmember $20) which includes complementary parking and hors d'oeuvres. A cash bar will be available. You can register here.

And did you see this? A former baseball player (and current tv annoucer) said "I won't say that women belong in the kitchen, but they don't belong in the dugout."

And I have been avoiding the story of Molly, the black cat trapped in the building. I just figured that it wasn't going to end well. But turns out that I was wrong, and Molly is free after more than two weeks. Sometimes, there are happy endings...

I saw this person with two bumper stickers. The first said "Be Kind to Animals -- Don't Eat Them." The second was a US Navy sticker. So I just want to make sure I understand - killing animals for food is bad, killing people (for war, oil, whatever) is ok?

And on Friday, I was admitted to practice before the United States Supreme Court. This sounds much more impressive than it actually is, because all it really requires is doing paperwork and having someone vouch for you, then being sworn in, but at the end of the day, I'm admitted before the Supreme Court, right?

Easter was nice. I had 20 Greeks at my house (not everyone could make it.) I have done 4 loads of dishes in the last 18 hours. Fun, fun. Actually, it was a good day. My house was cleaned, there were good food, my family, card playing, lots of laughter, yelling, and nothing was broken. My cats, who are ok when friends come over, were traumatized b/c Greek people are LOUD. Singing (Christos anesti!). It was a good day. Even though the weather got thunderstormy.

2006-04-19T23:41:00.000-05:00

I already got the bill for my emergency room visit a few weeks back. Thank god I did my taxes... But as I mentioned, there are some CHARACTERS in the emergency room at 2 am. People who talk to invisible people...

I was told to "take it easy." On Tuesday (so two days after my injury, one day after the scary hospital visit) I had rock climbing plans. And for most of the day, I assumed I could go rock climbing. But I got more and more sore, and wondered if I should. My friend said:

I might climb a fake wall with broken ribs IF there were (1) ribs and/or a perfect filet mignon and (2) gelato on top. MIGHT.

Mmm.. Gelato. I want to go back to Italy. As I already mentioned, I ended up not rock climbing that night. (Score one for logic, huh? (Clearly, that did not extend to soccer the next night, but using common sense 50% of the time is an accomplishment for me.))

So because I had to cancel, tonight I went rock climbing for the first time in 2 weeks. BUT it was a great success. The one wall that I've never made it up and it's been my goal to make it halfway up the wall...I climbed it. I mean, I climbed to the TOP of the wall. It was awesome. It was a good rock climbing night. I was more or less 6 for 6. (I started one, but never actually attempted it so I could that as no wall. I didn't realize it was a reclining wall and once I saw that, I wasn't interested.) One of my friends went for the first time and learned to belay, and then was practicing with us. So he was belaying for me (with my friend that I normally climb with backing up up) and halfway up the wall (I was cruising) I realized my arms were spent. And I mean, they were jello. I had no grip. Even worse, I was so tired that I couldn't even lift them (obviously imperative to rock climbing.) So forgetting that he's JUST started this, I tell him that I'm letting go and to hold me up there. Well, I go sailing (not his fault, where the anchor was - and truthfully, it was f'ing awesome) and I think it worried him a bit.

Last Thursday I went to a tour and beer tasting at Great Lakes Brewery. I was on vocodin, but I figured I'd be fine. I now know why I should not drink on Vicodin. Even just "tasting" wine got my tipsy. Not "drunk," mind you, but tipsy. I'm not a beer drinker by trade. And I figured, it s a beer TASTING. How drunk can you get when you taste something? Well, you are given LOTS of somethings. We got Burning River Pale Ale (this label rocked); Holy Moses White Ale (this label was awesome too - Moses is parting the Cuyahoga); Dortmunder Gold Lager; Eliot Ness Amber Lager; and Edmund Fitzgerald Porter. Now I already said that I'm not a beer drinker. Now I'm going to say something else that make you think I'm crazy...I've never had ONE of these beer before. I know, I grew up here, I'm an insult to Cleveland. The tour was way more information that I cared about at ALL.

My hair has gotten really long! Right before I started this blog, I had cut my hair to about where my mouth was, a little shorter. Now, about two years later, it's about halfway down my back. I didn't even realize that it was getting that long because I wear it up so often. I like my hair short because it moves a lot. And I like it really long because I love the feel of it on my back. What is hate is the in between mess that is about a year long. So I'll get to enoy it for a few months long - and then I figure it will be long enough to cut off again and give the 12 inches to Locks for Love. Sadly, this means that I likely can't dye my hair anytime soon - even though I use temporary dye and it's supposed to wear off in about 1 month, it generally takes me about 3 months. So I will be sporting grey hair. Actually, it's not even grey. It's pure white. Just random strands of white hair. Which always looks crazy with the dark brown mop on my head. The funny thing? My mom didn't go white (also, not really grey) until she was much older than me.

And who am I going to make fun of now that Scott McClellan is resigning? Bush is going to have to find someone who can smile and take all the administration's shit. It's no wonder that the press secretaries turn over so quickly!

2006-04-17T22:52:00.000-05:00

Yikes! Is this good or bad??

You Have A Type A+ Personality

A+

You're driven to succeed every single second of the day
And you don't let up on your goals, no matter how tired you are
You've already acheived a lot in your life... but it's not enough for you

Always on the go, you tend to get things done quickly and effectively
You have the personality to be a successful enterpreneur
Just remember to play a little too, even if play is the most difficult thing for you!

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

I'm not sure I'd agree anyway. I really tend to procrastinate.

And speaking of procrastination, my taxes DID get done. I took them to H&R Block on my way to lunch. Picked them up after lunch, gave them a check for $150 and viola! Electronically filed and I can expect a refund directly deposited soon. Umm...no idea why I waited so long in the first place.

And a reminder that the Cleveland Professional 20/30 Club is holding a panel on Regionalism next Wednesday, April 26. It's at 6 pm at the Forum at One Cleveland Center. The event is moderated by Sam Fullwood III of the Plain Dealer. Panelists include George FOrbes, Esq, Profession Norm Krumholz (Professor of Urban Affairs of CSU), Mayor Tom Longo (Garfield Heights) & Elixabeth Stoops of Voices and Choices.

You can register here.

OK, I should get to bed. I'm tired. Or maybe I'm just cold - I think I need to turn the heat in my house back on. So much for an early spring. I guess it was just a fleeting moment. I played football tonight, and it was freezing. I was wearing SO many layers. The ribs are fine - what is interesting is that my knees are really hurting again. I thought they were getting better. I guess that it wasn't that, it was more likely because I was on pain medication. I was convinced I was having a heart attack and didn't think of it, but clearly when I was in the hospital I should have asked them. Not the hyperextended right knee, I know what's up with that. But for my left knee, how long can something stay bruised? It was 4 weeks on Saturday. So now we are at 4 1/2. Weeks. You can still see the bruise slightly, and it's still sensitive to the touch. And that's the *good* knee! It's not bothering me normally - it just hurts when I touch it. I solve that by not touching it. The other knee still randomly gives out on me, most often in softball (random, huh) when I'm batting and come from a standstill to sprint to the bag. I would have thought soccer would be the hardest - logically that make sense, but it's just not so. Like I said, it's just hyperextended. That's (part of) what took me out of competitive soccer in high school. One day I will know what it's like to wake up not in knee pain.

So I got a text from a friend that said, "do you still want to sleep with me." Is this really the type of question you ask via TEXT? Our generation is SO f'ed up.

2006-04-16T22:30:00.000-05:00

Saturday was the absolute perfect day. The weather was gorgeous. I had my football game then went t o the Treehouse to sit outside. For several hours. In the sun. I actually have tan lines on my feet from my sandals. I turned my heat off, I had my windows opened in my bedroom (my cats appreciated that as well). I can't wait until it gets nice and stays nice. It got a bit cold again today, but yesterday was a little slice of heaven... (Yes, I played football, which is again before I was cleared to do so, but I was fine. And I'm cleared to play as of tomorrow anyway.)

It is now April 16. Know what I forgot to do? Umm... pay my taxes. D'oh! The annoying part is that the government owes me several thousand dollars and I just haven't gotten around to taking them somewhere to get done. I'm not sure what happens if one doesn't pay their taxes on time if they are owed money - do I still get fined?

So it's everyone's Easter today - but mine. So all the stories are closed, I didn't have soccer, or softball, or anything. So I didn't even bother to get showered or dressed today. Yes, I should have mowed my lawn today, but I couldn't be bothered. I read some newspapers, picked up (somewhat - not nearly as much as I had to) around my house, read some, downloaded some music.

On April 6, the Plain Dealer ran an article on the top 9 baseball movies.

(1) The Natural; (2) Field of Dreams; (3) Eights Men Out; (4) Major League; (5) Pride of the Yankees; (6) A League of Their Own; (7) Bull Durham; (8) Bingo Long Travelling All-Sars and Motor Kings; and (9) Bad News Bears.

First, I've never heard of the number 8 movie. Second, I'd naturally put Field of Dreams as #1. And I do love The Natural, but Field of Dreams is my classis baseball/magic movie, one of my ultimate favorites no matter the genre. Third, I was sad to see that wasn't on the list. Not as good as Costner's two other baseball movies (For The Love Of The GameField of Dreams and Bull Durham - and does anyone else think that only his baseball movies are worthwhile?) but I do enjoy it. Finally, I wonder, Major League - is the love of that movie a Cleveland thing, or does the greatness of the movie transcend that?

(Yes, it takes me a while to get to the newspaper - even when a friend emailed me to tell me that this article was in the paper b/c he knew I'd like it).

2006-04-12T22:50:00.000-05:00

I learned why the doctor told me to take a week off sports. Actually, that's not true: the doctor told me to "take it easy." What does that mean? Who knows. Anyway, I figured that he wasn't specifically saying, "you can't play sports" so that meant that I was permitted to play sports, as long as I took it easy while doing so.

Well, turns out that's not that easy to do. The ball is there, and I can either play physical or be a wuss. Never one to be a wuss, I was physical. So second half, I collided with some guy.

Ouch. It had to be on the left side, huh?

When I'm in total pain through the vicodin and two drinks, that's not good... What can I say? I'm a moron. Anyone with half a brain would actually have taken it easy. I'll not play softball tomorrow (mainly because I already had plans to attend a beer tasting tour, not because of anything learning lessons...) Then I'll make a decision on Saturday, and Sunday I don't have softball or soccer because it's all your Easter. So that IS taking it easy... in my own Stephanie way.

And so I went to the hospital the other night at 2 am. Did I mention what FREAKS are at the hospital at 2 am? Oh.My.God. Yikes!

2006-04-10T23:47:00.000-05:00

Remember this? Well, I have TWO cracked ribs now, and a strained muscle in my back. Both on the left side. Also from soccer. Indoor. I'm not even sure when it occurred. I know that I was playing against the boards a lot, and landed on the ground once, but I don't recall any one play where I thought, "oh, I'm hurt!" The best (?) part - other than the play where I landed on the ground - the wall plays were I evidentally got my ass handed to me was by a 14-year-old girl. Yes, I hang my head in shame... .

2006-04-10T17:03:00.000-05:00

Hey all Cleveland area theatre lovers! Playhouse Square has just announed the 2006-2007 Broadway Series. Shows are Monty Python's Spamalot; The Light In The Piazza; Chita Rivera: The Dancer's Life; Legends!; All Shook Up; The Rat Pack Life From Las Vegas; and Dirty Rotten Scoundrels! There is even a Girls Night Out subscription... Most people know that I'm a huge supporter of the arts here in Cleveland. I think that Playhouse Square is an amazing resource we have in town. But seriously, you can't beat their series subscriptions.

2006-04-09T22:26:00.000-05:00

When is the last time you went to a concert where the band did not play an encore? Have you ever?? Other than, of course, if you were at the Guster concert on Friday night with me, I mean.

First, the concert was at John Carroll. In the gym (at my college when we brought in bands, we had them in the theatre). Because it was a gym (and by the way, those bleachers weren't the most comfortable...) the acustics were simply awful.

But the opening act, a solo artist, was the most awful things that I've ever heard. Seriously. It was painful. There were three of us, and none of us were positive if he was even singing English. Do you know how BAD you have to suck when people can't even tell if you are singing English? All that can't be blamed on the acustics.

FINALLY, Guster gets on stage. And the crowd sucked. I'm sorry if you're a John Carroll student, but you all were awful. The crowd was not moving, not singing, they were pathetic. I think the part where the crowd was most into it was when some John Carroll student went on stage to play with the band, and totally took over the microphone from the band. So the concert ends, the band (who never even introduced themselves) walked off stage. And a few minutes later, the lights came on. No encore. Weirdest.Thing.Ever.

We won our soccer game tonight. We had no business winning it. We were outplayed. We looked like a bunch of children running after the ball. Seriously, we played like shit. Outdoor starts Wednesday; we play like that, and we are in big trouble.

2006-04-03T14:56:00.000-05:00

So this party Saturday night. House party. Bring your own alcoholic beverages. So I had Smirnoff Twisted, all these bottles on the floor of the car. I also had six pounds of gummy bears soaking in vodka. (MOst excellent, by the way.)

Anywaon, on the way over, I get pulled over for speeding. The cop comes, sees all these bottles of alcohol on the floor, and immediately asks if I've been drinking. Well, no, I haven't. (Yet, maybe, but the honest answer is still no. If you want to find me drunk, catch me in a few hours...) Anyway, none of these bottles are open, but they also aren't in a package (to hard to carry them all - I was just going to toss them in a bag) so apparently the cop doesn't believe me. I explain that I am on my way to a party where it is bring your own beverage, pointing out my sleeping bag and pillow in the backseat (as I'm responsible). Nothing. I point out that sitting next to me is a container with six pounds of gummy bears soaking in vodka.

NOT what to point out. His eyes light up. Now to me, this proves I'm going to a house party because why *else* would one have SIX POUNDS of gummy bears. For ANY reason. Cop evidentally thinks that the easiest way for me to drink isn't going to a bar, isn't sitting at my house, but driving around. I'm 29. I can drink in my house. Why would I drive around and drink? Yes, there are lots of bottles of alcohol there, but give me a break.

Anyway, he is without a breathalizer (can he do that?) and so gives me manual dexterity tests. Which I fail miserably. (You sing the alphabet backwards, BUT starting with U and continuing to J. Heck, I ddin't even understand what he wanted. Or standing on one foot. I can't do that sober. And I'm pleading with him to give me a breathalizer, take a pee sample, anything at all because I haven't been drinking. Really and truly. In fact, I had one beer at the Treehouse after football, and that may have been all the alchohol I've had all week. After about 10 minuntes, a second cop car comes, and I pass the breathalizer and am sent on my way to get drunk.

And a friend sent me this email:

On Wednesday, at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00

in the morning, the time and date will be…

01:02:03 04/05/06

That will never happen again.

Fun. Though let's be perfect clear, I will be sleeping at that point. Why? Because that's what Stephanie's do. So I guess that I'll miss this momentus occasion.

2006-04-02T15:40:00.000-05:00

The Trolley is back!! I got this email from a friend. How fun - I plan to check it out, as the weather gets nicer. (Oh, how I love Cleveland in the spring. And summer. And fall. Just not that blasted f'ing winter.)

March 29, 2006
Ding, Ding, Ding
Downtown trolleys are back
CLEVELAND - After a nearly 60-year absence, trolleys will roll once again on downtown streets, offering a way to experience Cleveland's past and future at the same time.

Beginning April 10, office workers and tourists will be able to hop on one of two trolley lines developed by RTA to replace Loop bus service.

· The E-Line trolley will link entertainment venues, from the Warehouse District at West Ninth Street, down Euclid Avenue past Playhouse Square to East 21^st Street.

· The B-Line trolley will connect business, circling Superior and Lakeside Avenues between West Sixth and East 12^th Streets.

Both lines will operate from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. with 10-minute frequency.
If the nostalgic green-and- gold vehicles, complete with cow catchers, wooden rails, and brass bells, don't put a smile on the face of downtown travelers, the price of riding will. The trolleys are free now through Labor Day for -- a smile. This was accomplished through a partnership between RTA and the Cleveland Convention & Visitors Bureau. RTA is studying the feasibility of maintaining the appealing "smile" fare indefinitely.

Characters from the past will help reintroduce trolleys to Clevelanders. Radio commercials feature the voice of a 20's vaudeville promoter, describing the trolleys as the "Cat's Pajamas." Trolley jingles accompany the spots, sung by a chorus line of bathing beauties.

And on the Indians home opener April 7, nearly 100 newsboys with capy hats and cotton news bags will descend on downtown, spreading the word in building lobbies, street corners, and at the Jake, "the trolleys are back."

The newsboys will be made up of child actors from Great Lakes Theatre and City Year corps members.

Combining fun with functionality was the impetus for the downtown trolley lines. RTA worked with Cleveland Convention & Visitors Bureau and the Downtown Cleveland Alliance to develop the concept. Public meetings were also held to understand the changing transportation needs of office workers, college students, and a growing downtown group of residents.

"We hope the trolleys will cause office workers to break away for lunch to meet friends on the other side of downtown," said RTA General Manager Joe Calabrese. "By making the trip free and creating a 10-minute frequency, we removed any barriers for hopping on and exploring. The "smile" fare should come naturally, but it also says, 'let's enjoy our downtown again.'"

Along with canvassing office workers and residents with flyers and advertisements, RTA is working with the hotel concierges to communicate the benefits of the new trolley lines to out-of-town guests. Operators with a gift for gab and knowledge of Cleveland's history were also selected to drive the trolleys - serving as ambassadors for the city. They will dress in vintage uniforms, with motorman hats and vests.

Dennis Roche, President of the Cleveland Convention & Visitors Bureau, sees the trolleys as a great way for people to experience all that downtown has to offer.

"Great restaurants, unique music and comedy venues, and outdoor reading gardens - places that, along with well-known attractions like Playhouse Square and the Avenue at Tower City, are now just minutes away with the trolleys," said Roche.

About RTA
RTA is the nation's 13^th-largest public-transit system, serving more than 45 percent of all public-transit riders in Ohio. Its 2,644 employees operate 108 rail cars on 34 miles of track and 654 buses on 89 routes. In 2005, more than 57 million passengers rode RTA's trains, buses, Community Circulators and Paratransit vehicles.

Jerry Masek, Media Relations Manager
Greater Cleveland Regional Transit Authority
216-566-5211, office
www.rideRTA.com

2006-03-29T19:56:00.000-05:00

One of my friends is having a scavenger hunt sleepover party on Friday at his house. The ironic thing is, the girls are thinking just as much about what to wear to the party as they would a black tie event. And let's face it, IF girls wear pajamas, there are two different kinds: ratty college ones, and not-fit-for-public-viewing type.

In soccer, we played the immature high school team again. The Bitch was still there. She was called for a penalty during the game. At the end of the game, she was STILL complaining about the play. Let it go. We really don't like that team. There were a few yellow cards, and the ref even threatened to card us for 4 minutes (that's not technically even anything!) because of comments from the bench. We ended up winning the game, but it was touch and go for a bit. Ahh, the satisfaction I took from beating them... (Yeah, who's the immature one??)

I went to hear Sam Fulwood speak the other night. He's an extremely talented storyteller. I highly recommend that if anyone has the opportunty to hear him sometime, they take that opportunity.

Heading rock climbing tomrrow. It's been two weeks since I've been, and my knees are both still a little tender, so we'll see how it goes. Last time I went, I was pleased with my progress so I hope my time away hasn't hurt me too much.

So the Cleveland Indians signed Grady Sizemore today. He joins me favorite, Jhonny Peralta, witha long term contract. (Is Cliff Lee coming next?) And speaking of the Colon trade (Ok, I wasn't but I mentioned Sizemore and Lee...) the Indians apparently traded Brandon Phillips. I am both surprised and not surprised. He is a great fielder, but he wasn't able to hit with the power they suspected (remember, he once was the primary prize in the Bartolo trade - and now the two other pieces, Grady and Cliff have long term contracts). I think that it's his attitude more than anything else. I think he'll go elsewhere and be the player that they thought he'd be getting when they traded for him. I met Brandon once. We actually talked for a couple of hours. He's adorable, but he did have an ego. I think this might be the best thing that can happen to his career. Remember, this kid is 24. After not hitting at the major league level in 2003, then hitting even worse after he was sent down, he killed the ball in 2004 at AAA. In my opinion, when the Indians resigned Belliard after 2004, it soured him and affected him in 2005. Still, he had a pretty good spring training. I think that he goes elsewhere, starts anew. At 24, this kid is still going to be good. Alas, not here in Cleveland...

Meanwhile, Danny Graves made the major leage roster (over Jason Davis, who I actually like -- though I was quite impressed with Graves this spring, who I believe had an implosion against the Indians in June or so -- and Karsay, who didn't appear quite ready yet and still recovering) and Kelly Shoppach beat out Diaz for back up catcher. (Defensively, he's much better.) Obviously, Vazquez beat out Brandon Phillips for the utility position.

And that's my Indians update...

2006-03-21T11:40:00.000-05:00

Current criticisms emailed to me about my blog:

--Cartscalator. The "s" is essential.

--FYI, when you type in "cleveland soccer alcohol" in the google blog search, your blog is the first one that comes up.

--[Your blog] is ceasing to entertain me as it is no longer scandalous

So, I edited cartscalator so it was spelled properly (who even knew that it had a proper spelling??)

As for the second, thanks for letting me know, but that is not something I plan to brag to my grandparents about. Or put on my resume for that matter. It's actually kinda frightening. I mean, don't people in Cleveland drink after playing soccer? I assure you, I'm not drinking alone. As much as I may or may not drink, I do not drink alone...

Finally, for the third, it's hard being "scandalous" (and I object, I was never scandalous!) when your friends, co-workers, and family all know about your blog. Things aren't always appropriate for their ears/eyes, you know?? But I shall tell a story anyway...

Evidently, things that you think are secret rarely are. For example, I went out with a guy a few weeks ago. I hadn't mentioned it to any of my friends, so I assumed they did not know. Seems like a perfectly reasonable assumption to me.

All is well, until last Tuesday (over a week after said date), I get a text from said guy commenting that two of my friends were asking him about us going out. (Dude, THAT is what I was texting about when I was at your house, ok?) I never mentioned that we went out to them, so I'm not even sure how they knew.

Then last Thursday I get an email from another mutual friend asking me about "Good Will Hunting." After I expressed confusion, my friend told me he was referring to my "man of the moment." I have a man of the moment? Who knew? He explained he was referring to the guy that I went out with - ONCE - and hadn't mentioned to anyone. Seriously, we went out once, I hadn't told anyone, and yet I'm getting an email about it??

Finally, Saturday (two weeks after said date), yet another mutual friend asked me, point blank, whether I was going out with said person. Seemingly out of nowhere. Literally, it was, "So I've heard this rumor, and I figured I'd go right to source, so are you and he dating?" He said he heard it, then observed us interacting so assumed it was true but wanted to know for sure. Want to know the best part? He heard that we were dating *before* we actually went out.

As for Saturday, my football team won, as I mentioned, and I got hurt.

Saturday, I went to the bar after my football game that afteroon. I left the bars close to 2 am. I n case you were wondering, around 8 pm, the bars change from the football, muddy sweats and t-shirts crowd, to the all ho'ed up and ready to party crowd. I stuck out like a sore thumb. You know me, it's not like I minded, but it was still odd how fast that transition occurs. At 6 pm, we are mocking the people in the bar who clearly didn't play football that afternoon, two hours later, the mocker becomes the mockee...

Oh, I still have that tree that most people put up the beginning of December and take down the beginning of January up. Right now it's covered in plastic eggs of all colors (it really looks nice, I should take aphoto with my new digital camera.) Anyway, what astonishes me is the two cats who reside with me and can ignore the Christmas ornaments the entire time, but when they are plastic colored eggs, are leaping in the tree to knock them out. What the heck is upw ith that anyway?

And I took photos of my dog last night. Sweetest thing ever, turning 12 on April 1st. Unfortunately, none of them really came out. Ever since he was a puppy, whenever you get ready to take his photo, he lays down. Absolutely refuses to pose. Most frustrating thing of my life. I tried and tried and tried until I ran out of battery. Sigh. Dogs...

2006-03-20T15:49:00.000-05:00

This past Saturday was the football playoffs. The name of my team is Buttt III. We played Balls Deep. The ref kept making comments like, "Buttt over Balls" and whatnot. Good ol' junior high fun... Can you believe that winter football is over? Which means that spring football (and outdoor soccer and softball) starts on April 1. April 1! This is Cleveland. Yes, it will still be cold...

I got hurt and football though. Bruised the one knee, twisted the other. Even better, I'm on two football teams. The quarterback on my one football team was subbing for the team that I played against in my second football game. And he's the one who injured me. It wasn't even his team. And I'm his teammate! I hope I'll be able to turn on it by Saturday, I can't now. Which means that I sat soccer out last night. That makes me unhappy...

My March Madness basketball brackets are all f'ed up. The one that destroyed me was Kansas. Because I'm an idiot and had them in the Final Four. Oops...

You know, while everyone knows about how wonderful Target it, what I fail to hear about is the Target cartscalator like the one in University Heights. (I say that, but I had two conversations about it last week.) Anyway, I just wanted to make sure that when I talk about the Target love, you realize that includes the cartscalator.

For those interested, next Monday Sam Fulwood is discussing being one of the few premiere African American columnists in the US. It's at Chester's Fine Cuisine on Noble Road in East Cleveland. I think Fulwood's opinions are always interesting, so I'll be there, and I encourage others to attend.

2006-03-13T21:06:00.000-05:00

So getting to DC was hell. I show up for my 5 p.m. flight, and they tell me that my flight was changed to 4.30 -- except no one informed me. I was so irritated. I mean, if you change my flight, at least EMAIL me and let me know. You sent the confirmation to me, so I KNOW you have my email address... Then, I called the 800 WE CARE number to express my displeasure with Continental, and the wait was 45 minutes. I wasindignant, but not that indignant. I tried to call today again, and it was still 45 minutes. Again, I'm not that indignant. And I'm even less indignant than I was on Thursday. (You know, this was the same problem I had when they almost arrested me in Paris last summer; by the time I got home, I wasn't indignant anymore.)

It was great spending the weekend with my cousin. He's the one who was in Afghanistan and I met some of his friends from the war (you all remember we are at war in Afghanistan, right?) It was weird because they know a side to him that I just don't know. I mean, they spent 24/7 together for over a year. They went through hell together. It's not unexpected, I just mean, there is this entire life that the family doesn't know about (and he won't tell us about.)

Oh, this was a funny story. The one guy says to me: "the first time I heard of your existence we were in a tower on like day 30 and he told me about his lawyer cousin who carried a lunch box purse." I guess when you spent 24/7 with people in those circumstances: (1) incredible bonds form; and (2) you talk about the most random things.

Then I got to se my other cousin, who was coming back from her spring break in Honouras. She flew into DC around 11 pm., and was driving back home the next morning around 9.30 am. So she came out with us that night, and crashed with us and my cousin drove her back in the morning. It was a regular reunion (and trust me, we were mocking the family who weren't there...It's what we do...)

I totally wanted to adopt a squirrel. There was this squirrel by my cousin's apartment. And he begged. Literally, whenever you walked out on the balcony, he ran from somewhere and ran to right underneaththe balcony and stood on its hind legs, this front to int he air. Totally begging. It was cute. (Incidentally, he really liked chips. Like Tostita ones. And if you threw him two of them, he'd take one, go bury, and grab the other and eat it. Seriously, I adored him.

I landed a little after 8 last night. I had a 10 pm soccer game. I didn't make it. If my game had been a 9, I would have gone, but 10 was so late. I was exhausted.

So when I was in DC, my cousin gave me this book that he said I had to read, Losing Julia, by Jonathan Hull. It's both a love story and a war novel, and it's incredibly powerful. The narrator is experiencing the war, then the next paragraph is an 81-year-old talking about regret, the next paragraph 10 years after the war ended. The most interesting part is that sometimes, the narrator isn't even sure when or what it is, the mark of an 81-year-old confused man waking from nightmares that were real, and not sure if he's wake. The prose is powerful, and beautiful. ("Old age is best spent in the editor's booth, whittling a life down to its greatest hits, which are played over and over again until the tape finally snaps.") I read it within 24 hours, I couldn't put it down.

2006-03-09T13:12:00.000-05:00

So it is 4 months until my 30th birthday. (Don't forget my surprise 30th birthday party on 7/8 everyone. You are all invited.) But I have friends coming in to visit for my surprise party. And here's my concern: when my friends come in, I may get suspicious. I may start to suspect that, since they are here the weekend that I am turning 30, something is planned. I am looking for a reason why they are in town that I might believe, so as not to ruin the surprise. My friend came emailed a few ideas:

Todedo Harbor Light 102-Year Festival or
We all have tickets for the Baltimore Orioles- Indians series or
We are coming in for the photo safari at the zoo or
The Haunted Palace exhibit at the museum or
just passing through on the quest for hitting all amusement parks north of the Mason-Dixon line or
we threw darts at a map to decide where a mini reunion would be held...someone with bad aim hit Cleveland (I was rooting for Italy).

Do we think any of thse are convincing enough?

So I am a MLB.com Gameday Audio Subscriber. What this means is I can listen to the baseball games online - any game, any time. This includes spring training. This was $15 for the entire season. It is quite possibly the best $15 I've spent...

OK, I'm off to DC now. Have a great weekend everyone!!

2006-03-06T14:39:00.000-05:00

I went to the Night Under the Stars at the Museum of Natural History Saturday night. It was really fun. It was really cool drinking wine under dinosaur bones. And the Planetarium was awesome. I haven't been there in years. We went to the 11.15 planetarium showing, and everyone was already the opposite of sober and making wisecracks. It was fun. The band was good, the alcohol was flowing, the people were nice. People were dressed in everything from tuxes to jeans. There was the guy with a cape. (It takes a rather strong man to wear a cape, no?)

My soccer team may have found a full sized field. 11 players (rather than 8) and a regular goal (rather than the lacross practice goals that we played with last year). It's through Mayfield Village, playing at Progressive Fields. That would be cool. It would make Stephanie extremely happy. Happy enough to talk in third person.

I went rock climbing yesterday. It's been a while since I last went (when I was still sick) and it was pretty hard. I have to say, I think I'd get better at rock climbing if I went more often than once every two weeks. Perhaps I'll go Wednesday for ladies night (not sure what ladies night entails, other than it's cheaper). Ultimately, I failed to make it up three walls, and I made it up two walls. That's a 40% success rate. Excellent... But the funny part, there was something in the paper, and I got about 5 text messages when I was 25 feet in the air. And I kept taking my phone outo f my pocket to read the messages. Luckily, you don't really use your arms that much for rock climbing. But doing the corner wall is STILL hard (that's one of the walls I made it up, but it was like losting at Twister at times. And I swear, there were times I was hanging just by being wedged into the corner. I had no hand grip on anything, and at least one of my legs wasn't anywhere either. Yikes. OH, and a ceiling wall is one that I failed at so that's impossible anyway. One day...)

Finally, the Oscars. First, let me say that I found George Clooney's speech the most annoying. He was extremely arrogant. ("What I love about Hollywood is that we talk about issues before anyone else will touch them.") Yes, you are all wonderful. Of course, you are amazingly shallow and superficial and live in a bubble and have no idea about the real world, but whatever. Second, let me say that I found it ironic that the same time that Clooney was talking about how brave Hollywood was, they were incredibly cowardly in refusing to give the Oscar to the movie about the gay cowboys...

2006-03-03T17:07:00.000-05:00

While my parents were never yuppies, I most certainly am a Yeppie. A Yeppie is the type of person who "quits their job to go backpacking, are slow to commit to relationships and are idealistic but confused." "Yeppies are ambitious but confused and won't commit to anything unless they know it will bring them enduring happiness." I feel good to know that who I am comes with a name. Like that someone makes it acceptable, ok. It's amazing how labeling can do that -- but that's another conversation for another day.

They are twentysomething, ambitious and confused. And they won't commit to anything until they are certain it will bring them enduring happiness. Meet the 'Young Experimenting Perfection Seekers' - Yeppies, as anthropologists are calling them.
Research shows that today's graduates are increasingly adopting a 'browsing' approach to choosing jobs, relationships, homes and life-styles. Far from knuckling down like their parents' generation, they believe true personal fulfilment can only come after years of anguished experimentation.
'Unlike the yuppies of the Eighties ... today's young adults are less certain and less single-mindedly materialistic than their predecessors,' said social anthropologist Kate Fox, of the Social Issues Research Centre[].
'Yeppies are unsure how to achieve their ambitions so they experiment through a shopping-style approach, trying to find the perfect job, the ideal relationship and the most fulfilling lifestyle.'
They postpone big, life-altering decisions until they feel they have exhausted all their options. 'It will be increasingly regarded as normal for young people to continue "Life Shopping" well into their late twenties and thirties. The way things are going, by 2012 thirty will be the new twenty as the "official" age for transition to adulthood ....
In every sphere of life the younger generation appears happy to procrastinate. ...By 'trying on' a number of different jobs or career paths, they learn what they are good at and eventually discover who they are and what they want from work. They have the flexibility to change direction and move on when something does not work out, rather than settling for an unsatisfactory or unfulfilling job, the study suggests.
The twentysomethings use a 'mate shopping' approach to marriage. In 1971 the average man got married at 25 to a 23-year-old woman. By 2003 this had to increased to 31 for men and 29 for women.
In addition, since 1990 the average number of partners people in the 16 to 44 age group have is up from two to four for women and from four to six among men.
'What we are seeing is not aimless, random promiscuity,' Fox says. 'The majority still believe in marriage; they are just prepared to wait longer and, more important, to "try on" a number of relationships until they find the one that is right for them.'
They have been called the 'Peter Pan' generation because they never want to grow up. But Fox believes their reluctance to commit is a major shift in aspirations.
'The something Yeppies are searching for may well be unattainable,' ... 'But they have high - some would say unrealistic - expectations and they move from job to job, or from career path to career path, desperately seeking perfection.'
... 'We have high expectations of personal happiness, which I don't think my parents' generation had.'

See here. And a critique on my subconsciously chosen lifestyle here.

What can I say? I would agree with that description. Am I supposed to settle? There is always time in life to settle. And why go through life unless you are happy. Life is hard enough. Taking away contentment?

Now the notion of enduring happiness may be a problem. Searching for the ideal is great. I support that. Trying on jobs to make sure it’s something that you like, that you are good at, that is great. The people who know everything at 15 scare the hell out of me. What are they, pod people? Or do they just convince themselves that they are happy? Do they even know what it means to be fulfilled in life? Or are they just burdened by other expectations of who they are and what they should think. How stifling. I would rather wander around in darkness for a while and be sure that I really found the exit of the maze, and not just some random light in the middle of it. I think I deserve happiness – I feel bad for previous generations that didn’t think they deserved it.

And as for waiting to get married, I think there is a world of difference between 18 when you graduate from high school, and 22 when you graduate from college. Likewise. I think there is a world of difference between 23, when you are first out of college, and 28, when you are starting to become your own adult in the work world and have a bit of credibility behind you to stand on. I don’t think that the person you are at 18 has anythingto do with the person you are at 22, any more than it reflects who you will be at 28. Even if you are perfect with someone at 18, that doesn’t mean you will be perfect for them at 28. I think it’s smart to wait until you are fully developed to enter into something as serious as marriage. Hell, maybe if more people did that, the divorce rate would go down. It certainly can’t get any higher, can it??

But here’s where my problem comes in. By searching for some mysterious and amorphous ideal, this thing that I will just somehow “know” when I find, I sometimes think that I won’t accept anything that isn’t guaranteed. You see the problem, of course. Life doesn’t come with a guarantee. Maybe it’s not as much a search for perfection as just cowardice to take a chance? Additionally, sometimes when you are trying to exhaust all your options – is the grass greener over there? – you find out that not only isn’t it, but by “life shopping,” we returned what could have provided happiness if only we weren’t so restless. But we’ve lost that opportunity.

2006-03-01T20:52:00.000-05:00

Saturday Cleveland Indians single game tickets go on sale. Yes, I already have one of the 6-packs (the fireworks, naturally), but now I get to pick a random summer Saturday in July to go to a game, or get tickets for a great series against the hated Yankees... And for those interested, there is a (free) open house at Jacobs Field this Saturday from 10-2. How fun is that? Seriously, Jacobs Field may be one of my favorite places in Cleveland. Yes, there is something to be said about Cleveland Browns Stadium, but I'll tell you why I prefer Jacobs Field -- Cleveland Browns Stadium generally means it's winter-y time. I'm Greek, my blood requires nice warm weather. Jacobs field generally means it's summer-y time. (I say generally b/c it can be warm when it's the start of football season, and lord knows that it's cold in April off that lake. And who can forget the '97 World Series where it snowed? Snow and baseball? Only here in Cleveland, I guess.

And again, reminding everyone that the happy hour is tomorrow at the Cleveland Playhouse starting at 5.30. If you haven't been to the Cleveland Playhouse yet (shame) it's a fantastic space. There are a few theatres so more than one show may be there at the same time. You know, if you are under 40, they have a great deal on season tickets.

Oh, the rumors about Showtime and Arrested Development are back. And getting stronger. If that happens, I will drop HBO like a bad habit and get Showtime.

And February just ended. February is my least favorite month of the entire year, so I don't have to worry about it for another 11 months. Now that it's March, I demand nicer weather...
I haven't balanced my checkbook since Thanksgiving, with with everything getting stolen out of my car. I attempted that endeavor the other day. In those three months, I have spent $9000. I don't mean $9000 total. I mean I have spent $9000 more than I made in that time. Yes, I had to replace stuff that was stolen, yes it was Christmas, yes, I put a few thousand to my mortgage, but still! I'm not math major, and even I know this cannot continue...

My eye is all gross and icky. I am so irritated. I've been thinking about getting that lasik surgury. Any thoughts on that? Either at the Clinic or Clear Choice. I should have put money to cover it pretax, but I didn't because I figured I'd do it next year instead. (Ironic I first mention needing to stop spending money, then in the next breath discuss elective surgury.) But I'm so tired of contact, and eye problems.

2006-02-27T12:08:00.000-05:00

Saturday was Jump Back. It was a great time, and somehow the stuff I painted didn't look awful. Or maybe I had consumed enough alcohol that it didn't look awful??

I was there about 20 minutes when someone came up to me and said she knew me. (I'd never seen her before, so picture me with a deer in the headlights look.) She said that she was at the Easter Seals auction and described my dress and shoes. Excellent...now I'm notorious. Or is it infamous? (Ironically, I had Converse on at this event as well. Black ones. I hoped to get to the store to buy a pair of pink Converse -- which I desperately want -- but ran out of time. But the converse were part of the costume this time.)

My little brother was there, and my friends were all flirting with him. I just can't get over the fact that every time we hang out all my friend tell me how adorable he is. Actually, I'm ok when they call him adorable. He's the little kid who at 18 months broke his leg and was in a full body cast and made all the nurses fall in love with him. He can be adorable. No, I start to freak out when they call him "hot." He's my LITTLE brother. Aagh!!

There was an afterparty at the hotel. The Cleveland Police came to break it up. NOT hotel security, the Cleveland Police. Excellent. I haven't been at a party that the cops busted us since, well, October. But you get the idea. I'm 30, not 16. And the cops are still busting my hotel parties.

A few stories. We hired M.O.B. Inc to walk the crowd. Anyway, one of the MOB Inc people was the naked cowboy (from 42nd street, in case you haven't been to NYC for a while). He
The rumor is that he is a diabetic and actually went into insulin shock. I heard that he ended up in the hospital. Then, at the end of the night, as we were walking out, an ambulance was walking IN. Turns out that some guy was drunk, slipped, and hit his face on the bar. They think he broke his nose, but he passed out and there was blood everywhere. As far as I know, that was the only casualty.

And let me tell you, open bar usually means weak drunks and not the best liquor. No, the drinks are strong. The martinis were super strong, I couldn't even drink them. The amaretto sours were also strong. Did you ever notice that when it's an open bar, you have no real attachment to your drink? So dancing, you may get covered in alcohol?? Because there is no incentive to be careful when walking or dancing with your drink. If it spills, you go get a new one. No responsibility at all. (Yes, this is way to say that I got covered in alcohol...)

The next morning, some people on the Jump Back committee went to breakfast (difficult in itself. The Diner on 55 was closed (WTF?), Pickwick got slammed with about 150 people right before we got there, so we ended up at The Harp (which, incidently, didn't have regular pancakes, only had blueberry pancakes. I was inconsolable.)) Anyway, we were telling stories about Jump Back, and most of them started with "so and so was so wasted and...." I mean, how many black tie affairs end in someone getting escorted out of the event, and an ambulance coming?

I had a great time though. The bands were both really good (Abby Normal and the Superband or something, who I had heard broke up.) However, as the theme was all about NYC, I thought the night should have ended with New York, New York. Just my two cents.

I spent most of Sunday recovering. Thankfully, we didn't have a soccer game. Of course, I have one this Sunday, and the Oscars are on. Do I go to soccer, or do I be snarky with friends and make fun of Oscar dresses? Oh, the trials and tribulations of my life...

For those looking for something to do tomorrow, there is a Personal Finance event. There is also a happy hour this Thursday at the Cleveland Playhouse. It includes free parking until 7pm - $5 unlimited wine tasting (compliments of Laurello Wine) , free appetizers , and a cash bar. And for those who have never been to the Cleveland Playhouse, you can get a tour as well. You know, the Cleveland Playhouse while not as big as Playhouse Square obviously, has some great performances. Intimate Apparrel is there through this weekend.

2006-02-21T14:11:00.000-05:00

My friend asked me if it was wrong that she wanted Nick Lachey to get spousal support. I told her no, it was just wrong that she had an opinion on it.

So you are all curious about the Easter Seals auction, aren't you? DYING to know. I realize. First, yes, I wore my teal dress with my blue teal Converse. And I LOVED them. I'm not sure what anyone else thought, but all I really cared about was me, so that's good. If you ask nicely, maybe I'll email you a photo.

You have to walk on stage, which is somewhat intimidating. Meanwhile, they are talking about you (but in what is meant to be a good way, not the way that people talked about you when you were in junior high or something). The problems are twofold: first, the stage is small, so you get to the end of the stage, and they are only about half done. So now what do you do? You just stand there. Fake smiling or something. But stand there. I like to DO things. Standing there is boring. And everyone is looking. At least if I were walking, then I'm not concentrating on the fact that everyone is looking. I’d be concentrating on not tripping, you know? Second, the MC made a comment about me having attitude because I was wearing my Converse. That unsettled me. Weird, I know. What did I expect? One of my sorority sisters asked me about my shoes. I told her I loved them. Her response: “I am sure you do. This does not mean that they were your best choice for this outfit. It was, however, a very "you" thing to do. Converse is your Chanel. For you, they are always a classic.” Awesome.

But once you get done with the stage, the night is only beginning! Because now you have to mingle. Did you ever play Zelda on Nintendo? The people there were like the town folks you talked to when you enter a village. Usually they were stupid and said stupid things like, "you need candles to see in the dark" and you wanted to scream “DUH!” and you literally felt your brain cells disintegrating in your head. If you stopped paying attention and just started counting ceiling tiles, you miss…*nothing.* At least nothing of consequence. But every so often you found a person who told you something good and interesting like, “the candle is in the cave north of the Prada Desert.”

By the way, this leads to an interesting issue. When you meet the interesting villager, even if you know that your character will die if you enter the cave (you haven't built up your magic, or sword, or heart enough to make it into the cave and back out unscathed) would you enter the cave anyway??

But I digress. One of my friends won me, so no (1) scary Republicans; (2) sketchy guys. So that was cool. I think we'll go skydiving. Fun.

And I slept last night for the first time in ages. I have been coughing too much to sleep of late. So last night, I was at my dad’s for dinner, and he gave me this disgusting thing – equal amounts of honey, lemon and alcohol. You know, I was able to sleep from 12-5. 5 whole glorious hours. It was perfect. It tastes awful, but I recommend it.

You know, normal people, when sick, would not play soccer on Friday (indoor at least), two football games Saturday (ok, that was outdoor. Freezing cold 11 degrees!), drink Saturday night, rock climbing Sunday, and soccer (again, indoor) on Sunday. They would stay in bed and rest. I guess this is my way of informing you that I’m not normal…

2006-02-20T13:48:00.000-05:00

I'm in a pickle. I have two contradictory bets at the monent: one with a friend that I will never die, and one with another friend (who has a voodoo doll) that I will die before tomorrow if he puts his voodoo doll curse on me. So now I'm not sure if I should root for never dying, or root for dying today or tomorrow. I hate losing, so I don't particularly want to lose either bet. But I see no way around it. Either I die today or tomorrow, thus losing the bet I made on Thursday, or I decide to live forever, thus losing the bet I mad on Saturday? There's no way for me to die today or tomorrow and still live forever, is there?

So I spent Valentine's Day with a group of friends at The Town Fryer on Superior and East 37th or so (which, incidently, may be the best kept secret in Cleveland.) What a fantastic time. And I didn't even partake on the fried Twinkies or fried Oreos. (I was so fried out at that time. I should have planned better.) We had fried macroni and cheese (surprisingly good) and friend peanut butter and jelly (I did not partake). But the best part of the evening are the hats. They have all these hats - you know, now that I think about it, I have no idea where these hats came from - and we were all wearing the hats. Posing for photos. It was most excellent. I mean, drunken singles on Valentine's Day who just consumed an entire month's worth of grease in an hour and a half should definitely finish the evening with a night "cap," if you will. (Ok that was bad, I apologize. Actually, I don't really apologize, I just acknowledge your groans.)

So I got an email the other day criticizing me by telling me that I haven't been posting often enough. Evidently, my once a week routine is wearing a little thin with a friend of mine. And last week was a busy week, and when I wasn't working or doing stuff, and I had down computer time, I sent a long email to a friend of mine. I was informed this was unacceptable. I promise it will not happen again. I shall let friendships deteoriate in order to keep you entertained at work...

2006-02-14T15:47:00.000-05:00

So total cost of my car was $450. BUT most of that was the 2 new wheels I needed and the transmission/coolant/oil change. In fact, for the actual stuff related to losing control of my car and spinning and median hitting, I spent $60 on a wheel alignment. There are no dents in my car. There are some scratches to the front bumper, but when it's washed they may be able to be buffed out. Let me think about this: I was going 65 on 271, spun around in circles twice, hit the median, wasn't wearing a seatbelt...and all I have to show for it is a $60 dollar wheel alighment. Someone up there was watching over me Sunday!! Wow.

Dictionary.com Word of the Day - spoony: foolishly or sentimentally in love.
Hmm... I like it.

And I'm reminding everyone about the Easter Seals auction this Thursday at the Holiday Inn on Rockside Road. Yours truly, as we know, is a participant. Doors open at 5.30, we walk across the stage at 7, get raffled off at 9.30. That is well worth the $40, so I hope to see everyone there. If you aren't from Cleveland, I will excuse you from attending. Otherwise, I expect to see you that.

And other events coming up Jump Back Ball is on February 25. I know for a fact that the signs will look great b/c I was painting them last night. Ok, I don't really paint in the lines, but you'd be disappointed with me if I did, right? I mean, that way, when you see a sign, you will automatically know if it's a "Stephanie." I mean, every artist needs a calling card. Or is that serial killers? Anyway, the fact is, they asked me if I could paint, and I said yes. That isn't my fault. It was an unclear question. What they obviously meant was, can you paint well. See, that's a different answer. Of course I can paint. Can't everyone?

2006-02-12T23:50:00.000-05:00

Tonight on the way to soccer, I hit some snow, lost control of the car, overcompensated, really lost control of the car, did two 360s on the freeway, then hit the median and was facing the wrong way. I was so shook up. That was the first accident I think I've been in since I was a teenager - and I was't driving then. It doesn't look like there is too much damage to the car (what I could see in the dark) but when I drive faster than about 60 my car shakes, so my brother thinks I need a wheel alignment. Even when I got to soccer, I was still freaking out. I made my brother get off the field (I was late) because I was freaking out. I called him off the field and tell him I needed him b/c I was in a car accident and was freaked out. His response: "I just let a girl who was 4'11" score on me, I don't have that much sympathy for you." I *think* he was joking...

But the good news, we won our first soccer game! (1-2-1) The players, for the first time, weren't high school kids. They were adults. The goalie was older than us and so was one of their forwards; the rest of them were about our age. But they were really good. Excellent ball control. Excellent. They were Italian (as in from Italy Italian - they had the cutest accents when talking in English and often would break into Italian. It was a good, close game. Actually, they were better than us, we just won.) You explain it - we lose to high school kids in better shape but not better players, and beat a team much better than us.

Wednesday at the OAR concert, I swear, we were the oldest ones. It was actually entertaining. Until my knee gave out of me and I sat down in the ground. This guy fell on me and spilled his beer. And he was a big guy. Not cool. Not cool at all. (I think the two concerts this week did a real number on them. I had a hard time walking today. My right knee was in constant pain all day. It was on the side and I really was thinking that it was going to go out on me. That would, honestly, suck. I know it will happen sooner or later, but I'd rather it be later. But it was the most pain it's been in for several years. And I don't have my knee or ankle braces anymore b/c they were stolen from my bag in December when my car was broken into. It was the first time I really needed them today.)

Rent. Not only was Angel not that great, but Mimi was flat out awful. And by awful, I mean she was the worst Mimi I've ever seen (and I've seen Rent two dozen times). In fact, I am debating whether she is the worst broadway singer I've ever heard, and I'm pretty sure that the answer is yes. Seriously, she sang Out Tonight and not a single note was in key. It was painful for me. Every time she opened her mouth, I cringed.

Flogging Molly on Friday was great, naturally. Though I had to move out of the eye of the hurricane (i.e. the middle of the mosh pit) because I was bouncing around like a ball in a pinball machine. Usually I adore that, but it was a bit too much for me. So I went and stood towards the back of the mosh pit, so I just got a little bit of pushing and whatnot. I have all sorts of mystery bruises. I felt a bit bad b/c I was with two people who didn't know who FLogging Molly was. So the second opening act, this rock band, my friend asked me if this was Flogging Molly. I gave her an "are you kidding me?" look and yes (sarcastically, I thought) "yeah, it's Flogging Molly." I then said to my other friend with us, "they asked if this is Flogging Molly." She gave the same "are you kidding me?" gesture that I did but said nothing. My one friend asked us why there were only 5 people on stage if there were 7 people in the band. I tell her that there are two Flogging Molly tours. When they ended and no one left, my other friend asked why no one was leaving (it had been about 5 minutes). My other friend answers, "encore." At some point, we were just playing around. I was sure they knew we were pulling their legs.. Keep in mind that while they were playing, no one was singing along. Not that many people were even dancing. They definitely weren't celtic sounding. And they played about 40 minutes. But evidently they bought the entire thing. Oops.

As for The Male Intellect, the entire second act was new. I didn't like it as much. The first act was still hysterical. But the "truth" was pretty boring. He made a few political jokes, and I was sitting next to my friend who is conservative, so we had a good time with that, but otherwise, yeah, I preferred the first act.

Because I have an account on My Space, and I have more artists and bands as my friends that actual people, I get a lot of indie artists who writet to me and say, "you are a friend of so and so, I think you will like my music, I've been compared to them." But Sophie B. Hawkins sent me something. Wow, I've heard of her! :)

2006-02-06T17:40:00.000-05:00

So I passed my belay test, and can now go rock climbing any time I want to without instruction. Excitement. My mom thinks one should need more instruction before they can go climb on their own, but really, as long as you know how to put the equipment on right, you aren't going to fall very fall.

Obviously, my friends and I are violent people. During the Superbowl, we enjoyed all the violent commercials. The Fex Ex commercials where the dinosaur ate the pacage, then crushed the caveman was a big hit. And I won't lie to you, the theft control Sprint one was watched more than once. (This is why God invented TiVo...)

On a more peaceful wavelength, I really liked the Dove commercial (though one of the girls at the party asked what the song was. She hadn't heard True Colors before. Ahh, yes, you know you are old when...)

As usual Budweiser had some great ads. The Magic Fridge one made us laugh. The streaking sheep commercial was cute as well. The bear and the beer was good, but again, we liked violence. :) I think my favorite was the tiny Clydesdale horse that thought that it was pulling the cart. And it was - with help. It was adorable.

Which leads to the obvious. Any commercial that uses animals is great. Budweiser used that it it's advantage. The two Careerbuilders ones (working with jackasses, and the monkey's partyting b/c they had the sales report upside down and thought they sales were up) both were fun. Best ever? No. But fun.

For the second year in a row, I most enjoyed the Ameriquest "Don't Judge, We Won't" commercials. Though neither were as clever as the guy cooking for his girlfriend with the cat covered in red pasta sauce, both were good. The first one, with the wife and daughter walking in on the doctor right after he killed a fly and saying, "that killed him" cracked me up. The second one with the plane turbalance causing the woman to fall on the other passenger made me laugh as well. Clever clever clever. How can I get a job at Ameriquest making commercials? Yes, I'm serious. That is the idea job to me.

The other one that I really liked was the sports scores on the cell phone one, where the old man started in on the younger man who was checking his scores on his cell. Back inthe old days. The stereotypical "walked to school uphill both ways" speech. (And yes, I think I would have liked it even if it wasn't a Browns fan. The pause after "We did it the old fashioned way. We went" and before "to the internet" made the commercail for me.)

As for the worst commerical, I really hated the Burger King commercial. It did not entertain at all. Though the competition is close: the Diet Pepsi commercials were awful. And the music video one was way too long. The Jackie Chan one was just stupid. And did anyone else wonder why they placed Diet Coke in their ad. Yes, it got stamped, but at the end of the day, it's still free advertising. I hated the Hummer commercial (and that wasn't new either, was it?) I also didn't like the car commercial withthe models in white mascara. I won't lie; I had nightmares last night.

And is anyone else disturbed by FIVE blades Gillette premiered? FIVE. Really, is that necessary in life? I mean, what will five blades really get that three blades will not. I think we are getting a little bit out of control, I really do.

A few other random thoughts: MacGyver is getting old. And porky. And movie trailers are just a waste of time. The Desperate Housewivescommercial wasn't bad - though let's be honest, it was completely unnecessary. Is anyone NOT familiar with Desperate Housewives at this point? And if so, where have they been living? And was that one car commercial in Spanish and English a commercial for the hybrid car or a commercial for speaking English?? The Sprite airline security ad was clever as well.

* * *

What about the game, you ask? I was disgusted. Not because I actually cared who won the game. In case you hadn't noticed, the Browns fielded a high school football team (not a Texas high school team, b/c a Texas high school team might have beaten them, but just a regular high school team.) In fact, the Browns have more or less fielded a high school team since they returned to the NFL. A few more years of that, and we'll be Cincinnnati. So I didn't care who won, but I really hate bad officiating. Especially when said bad officiating determines who wins a game. Let alone who wins THE SUPERBOWL.

And the worst part of it was the fact that the calls affected scoring. First, there was the pass interference on the touchdown. Which, as the commentators stated, was extremely questionable. Extremely. Then there was the Roethlisberger touchdown. This was extremely close, actually. I didn't think he broke the plane while in the air. It was impossible to tell. Whatever the call on the field was couldn't be overturned because there was not undisputed evidence. But there was nothing that I saw to suggest that the ball did cross the line. Hard to say for sure, but still. Then the hold on the Seahawk's pass to the 1 yard line. You know it's bad when the announcers, upon watching the replay, say, "I have no idea where that hold call came from."

It's impossible to guess where the game would have gone. That's at least a 14 point difference for Seattle, and 7 less for Pittsburgh (the interception came soon after the hold on the 1 play. No interception, no ensuing touchdown by Randal El. And maybe in 10-14 less for the Steelers (if the Steelers are stopped at the 1 on Roethlisberger's TD).

I accept that referees in all sports are human and make mistakes. It just seems incredible that every mistake went against Seattle. And I didn't even care who won. Imagine the frustration that a fan felt! Yes, the commercials were clearly better than the Superbowl this year. Both the playing, and the officiating.

Oh, you know what else bothered me? The fact that they kept on having commericals of the Steelers with the Superbowl trophy but only had one of Seattle. Even the media was doing it! Even my friend at my house, a Pittsburgh fan, commented on it.

FYI, you can check out all of the Superbowl commercials here.

* * *

Don't forget to set the TiVos for Arrested Development this Friday night. Yes, yes, yes, the Olympics opening ceremony are on. Let me help: they run with a torch and light the main torch. There will be lots of people wearing flags, or flag colored shirts, and walking and waving at the cameras. Basically, it's a larger scale city 4th of July parade. Clearly Arrested Development is more interesting - and if it's not (or if you go out on Friday; I have Flogging Molly tickets myself), that's why God invented TiVo. (You know, I'll throw a plug out for Veronica Mars too. Just because it's brilliant so you all probably aren't watching it. SHAME! I'd only point out you people are the reason that Sports Night, Jack and Bobby, and My So Called Life were cancelled too. Not that I hold grudes but I think that the actors from the last one care able to collect social security by now.)

And while we are on tv, Grey's Anatomy followed the Superbowl. Am I the only one who finds the main character totally unlikable? She is whiny, she is selfish, and she can't act to save her life.

* * *

Wait wait wait. When testifying before the senate, the Attorney General does not have to be sworn in?? Are you f'ing kidding me? Yes, because politicans have shown themselves to be honest and truthful. What was I thinking? Give me a break. The entire process is a joke. Are we at home not supposed to realize that?? Though some conservatives are breaking with Bush on his spying program. And one of them is (allegedly) Ashcroft, who supposedly had some reservations about the program. How much does an action violate your rights before ASHCROFT things that it's questionable?? But I actually meant during the hearing.

"I find your testimony honest, straightforward. You legal reasoning is well articulated," said Sen. Lindsey Graham, R-South Carolina. "I don't agree with it all." Graham said he was concerned about the president's argument that his commander-in-chief status gave him the authority to launch the program. "Taken to its logical conclusion, it concerns me that it could basically neuter the Congress and weaken the courts," he said.

Well, duh. You know, just when I'm ready to completely write off humanity as a failed experiment ...

* * *

Things to do in Cleveland this week. First, Rent is town at Playhouse Square. I adore Rent. I'm heading out to see it on Thursday. This isn't part of the Broadway series, but a good call for a week. Then Saturday I am going to see Robert Dubac in The Male Intellect, An Oxymoron on Saturday. He's hysterical, I've also seen this before. It's at the Odean - before it closes (BOO!) Fear not, I have O.A.R. tickets on Wednesday, and Flogging Molly tickets on Friday, so I won't be bored on the other days. Though that's a lot of shows in a short time, when the best come to town, you take advantage.

And we are about a week and a half away from the Easter Seals date auction. Thanks to Lori for donating. Very cool of her. I shall have to make it out to a Meet the Bloggers event sometime. But not February. There is so much going on already (especially with Jump Back Balls 15th anniversary that I know you all want to go to...) If anyone is curious what my shoes for the Easter Seals auction look like, you can see them here. Yes, I'm serious. I hope they match my dress - they might be a little off. Which would make me sad. But the dress is knee length so I don't think it will look too bad.

* * *

Do you ever feel like you are surrounded by idiots? I swear to god. The other day I was going to the 20/30 happy hour. It was at the Bier Market, a great new(ish) bar in Ohio City. Anyway, I go to the parking lot, and hand the guy a $5 to park. He looks at me and say, "parking is only $3." Well, see, I wanted to leave a $2 tip. I thought you should start a college fund.

* * *

And if I may offer soemthing. I turn 30 in about 5 months. (5 months, 4 days). Perspecive from a friend of mine (who is about 2 weeks younger than me):

The 20s are all about instability. The first two or three years are ok, but otherwise it's all about figuring out who you are and struggling--to find your career, to get your finances straight, to figure out if you want an emotional/romantic relationship and if so what kind, etc. etc. etc. By 30 you have some credibility and you've figured a lot of that out.

Interesting, no?

* * *

And my friend sent me this article about Vince Young going pro. The article (and sorry, it was emailed to me, so Im not sure of the magazine or the author or anything) said:

I feel sorry for people who can't get a thrill out of a major eventl ike this year's Rose Bowl game ... I'm mean, people who don't get emotionally involved in sports. They are missing something important in life. Everybody should have a team - actually, several teams - to root for. The greatest thing about it is that there's always next season. No matter how good or bad this season was, we'll get 'em next year. ... [A]s a sports fan, there is nearly always something new going on, another game coming up, another chance for redemption. And you change sports as the seasons change. Love affairs bloom and fade, and new love affairs begin. So partisanship in sports is something to take pleasure in.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

You know, I haven't mentioned the Coco trade to Boston at all. Here's my thoughts (I know you felt lost without them): Shapiro had made several good trades, and he deserves some trust in these matters. But boy, was that hard. The trade, for those not aware (SHAME!) involved Crisp, Riske and Bard to Boston for Andy Marte, Kelly Shoppach, Guillermo Mota, a player to be named later and cash. Then, a a subset, Rhodes to Philly for Michaels.

Now, I adore Crisp, AND I was a Riske fan (though Wedge clearly was not and seemingly didn't even trust Riske with the ball. I'm not sure why, but I think Riske is a great pickup for Boston. And we moved WAY down with Mota from Riske (AND we gave away Rhodes. AND we lost Howry to free agency - the worst failure to sign, in my opinion. Two years ago we had one of the worst bulletins. Last year we had th ebest. This year I fear we have moved back towards where we were two years ago. So I didn't like that component of the trade. Riske OR the subset of Rhodes. That puts a lot of pressure on Cabrera. And he's a pseudo rookie (I think he has too many appearances to be a rookie this season). But we have weakened our bullpen with this trade. Fact.

Bard was just a backup catcher to Victor, and as long as Victor is healthy, it doesn't matter. To the extent that it does matter, we moved up in terms of backup catchers with Schoppach. But come on, who really cares when you are talking backup catchers?? It was just an odd addition for the trade. Unnecessary.)

Now for the main bulk of the trade. Coco for Marte. If Marte is as good as they think he will be, that's great. We need a third baseman in our future, he fills that role, while we have other players who can play outfield in the minors who can develop. But who is going to play left field in the NOW? Michaels and Hollandsworth are the answer? Really?? I think I'd feel better if you'd say that Franklin Gutierrez could play left field and was ready for the majors (neither of which is likely true).

And I am warning Shapiro: LEAVE JHONNY PERALTA ALONE. If you must, trade Victor and Travis. Hell, you can even trade Grady. But leave Jhonny Peralta alone. Got it??

2006-02-03T01:07:00.000-05:00

I depend on my friends to clue me into great new music. And in the last few weeks, I've discovered two GREAT artists that I just can't get enough of. The first is Brandi Carlile, courtosy of my friend Kevin. The second is JJ Appleton. (I discovered JJ Appleton from Entertainment Weekly, but I do consider EW a friend.) They both have wonderful voices. I love to hear good new music. Yay. I encourage all to check them out. They both have music on their websites and MySpace if you wanted to listen to them. And you can download their albums on iTunes. If you can listen to Brandi Carlile's rendition of Hallelujah and not get goosebumps, you are a better person than I. (Or is that worse?) And everytime I hear JJ Appleton's Anyone and Someone Else's Problem, I have the urge to call my exs and play the song. And Downloader's Blues makes me laugh. Seriously, I can't say enough about the two of them.

We played against another high school team. Even better, we had a happy hour before the game, so people were, I don't want to say drunk, but had been drinking. The other teams have made us feel old. They have even commented on us being old. But these were the first really immature kids we've played against.

They were talking smack the entire game. The one girl, who I will refer to as The Bitch, literally pulled one of the guys on the team as he went for the ball. When he told her that wasn't cool, she told him that he was a fucking pussy. Another time The Bitch

Some of the guys on the bench were talking. Some guy says "That guy is really good, but he's psycho." The Bitch says, "he's not that good." And the guys says, "Compared to the rest of the team, he is." Now this is my baby brother you are talking about. Who, by the way, is an awesome soccer player. I will grant you, he's majorly intense about soccer. But still.

So I say to them (I'm playing defense) that he may be psycho, but he's better than all of them. (Which, incidently, was true. He really was on fire last night. He's generally a great player, but he was really awesome last night, saving several goals. Kicking himself for missing a shot on goal, but awesome.) And one of the guys says, "oh, that's really impressive, beating a bunch of teenagers."

Well, actually, it IS impressive. You are a high school team. Meaning that during the season, you play every day. You are in shape. During the summer, you have two a days (practices). We are in our mid to late 20s, we play once a week, we don't practice, we aren't really in condition, and we were drinking before the game. Yeah, I say playing at the same level as you is really impressive. Oh, and fuck you.

For the first time ever (and I do mean ever, and I've played soccer since age 7 - and I played and play several other sports as well) I refused to shake hands at the end of the game. Immature? Yes. But I really don't give a shit.

2006-01-29T11:23:00.000-05:00

So I have never won a football game before any season. And this week, I won twice. How exciting is that? I mean, really.

My grandfather's 86 birthday is somewhere around here. I say somewhere around here b/c no one is really sure when he was born. (Or even that he is, in fact, 86. He may be older. Or younger.) The problem is, he was born on the boat from Greece to the U.S. So you understand the confusion. Added to, no one remember if he was born when they were moving to the US, or on the way to the US after a trip back home to Greece. He has no birth certificate. So they just choose a date and an age.

My little cat, the one getting the medicine, hates me right now. I keep grtabbing her and shoving this thing inher mouth and squirting cherry flavored liquid down her throat. Oh, if looks could kill. BUT my other cat hates me right now too. He sees me with her, then he sees her escape and lick her lips. But when he wanders over, he doesn't get anything. Excellent.

And a word of advice to guys: if you ask a girl if she has a boyfriend and she says no, don't keep asking, adding the word, "Really?" or "are you lying" or "truthfully?" or some annoying variation. First, the question has been asked and answered. Second, even if she does, her answer is never going to become, "oh, not that I think about it, I do. I just forgot the first fifteen times you asked." So if you get a 'no' once, don't keep asking. It gets old. And annoying.

Has anyone ever heard of brazilca? It's something between martial arts, dance, and acrobatics. I think I may check out classes. It sounds somewhat intriguing.

Oh, and to the person who rear ended my mother when she was stopped at a red light and then, when she pulled onto a side street to be off the main street followed her and then drove right around her: Rot in hell.

2006-01-26T23:54:00.000-05:00

First, the attempts to get the medicine in my cat leave me winded, scratched, and exhausted. First, you have to get her. THis isn't my trusting cat who likes to be icked up or pet. No, this is my "I'm invisible so you can't see me, but if you get to close, I'm running under the bed" cat. I've had people stay at my house for a long weekend and have no idea that I have more than one cat. So getting her is a challege. Then, the medicine is supposed to be shaken - but how can I shake it when it takes me forever to get her? By the time I get her, it's not shaken anymore. Then if I manage to get her, I have to pry her mouth open. Has she glued her mouth shut, or what? She squirms, she won't open her mouth, she tries to get away. I can't even handle a cat, how will I handle a child one day?

Second, rock climbing take 2 was a bit better, meaning I managed not to scream, something that both the owner and the random guy who laughed at me when I said I wasn't smart enough to climb the wall pointed out. But the class, rather than just 2 people, had 6 people in it. Which means that I didn't get to climb as often. It was a lot of boring sitting around. And we all know that I hate being bored. So I want to learn to belay so that I can go whenever I want (well, whenever I can convince someone to go with me) rather than having to do the class and whatnot.

Finally, the list of the top 10 hottest hunks on tv. I'm so glad they went with Josh Holloway on Lost over Matthew Fox. I really can't stand the character Jack. Others include the guy from Prison Break (well, duh), Patrick Dempsey (we all fondly remember those 80s movies. Does he make anyone else want to start calling some of those nerds to see how they turned out??) a bunch of gusy from shows that I've never seen, the teen superman, and Jared Padalecki from Supernatural. I've seen Supernatural (kinda creepy, actually) but I'm not sure which one he is. One brother - the younger one - is really cute. But I have to take issue with this for not putting (1) Logan from Veronica Mars and (2) Ted from How I Met Your Mother on the list. Geesh. Ok, maybe Logan only makes it because I love the asshole and the angst, but Ted? Hello...

I'm heading to Lakewood bars tonight - and great ideas as to what bars I should hit?

2006-01-24T21:00:00.000-05:00

So everyone knows that I like How I Met Your Mother. Last night? So adorable. I know, I know, I'm supposed to cheer for Ted and Robin, but I already know that he doesn't end up with her, so who really cares?? (And yes, I still think that Ted, Josh Radnor, is adorable.) But when e walked nto that baker and stoof there, half defiant, and then they got together at the end, it was adorable. Yes, underneath it all, I'm a romantic girl. Gak.

But really. He's simply adorable. How can you not love him??

Turns out that my cat has bartonellosis. (It's the cat scratch disease.) My poor baby kitten. This is likely why she had to have 10 teeth pulled a few years ago. So now I have to get an antibiotic and hope that she won't need more teeth pulled. She could have given into me and my other cat too.

And I woke up this morning with an awful migraine (and an eye infection). Ugh. I assumed that the day would get better. Oops. My migraine never went away. When I first went to the office, I closed my blinds, turned the light off, and closed the door. Still, the light from the computer was too much for me. It was painful. It started to go away around lunch, and then came back later in the night. (So if there are typos here, I'm not looking at the keys, I'm just typing by memory.)

2006-01-22T23:41:00.000-05:00

We played against another high school team this week. Yet another team to bribe with beer next week (one of the teams that played at 10 was our age. I look forward to playing them.) :) This week, we managed to tie. I took that as a victory. We subbed more often at the beginning of the game. The ref is kinda sexist though. At one point, I went after the ball. So did one of the guys on the other team. We collided. The guy got called. I'm not sure for what. On another play. my brother and I girl went after the ball. The girl swept my brother off his feet. My brother got called. So basically, anytime a guy and a girl are together, the guy is getting called...Good to know. But I do have to say, his field where we play, Greenbriar in Parma Heights, may have the best turf I've ever played on. Hell, it's better than the grass I've played on in the spring and summer.

And my TiVo messed up taping Desperate Housewives. What happened?

And next Monday, the Cleveland Professional 20/30 Club is putting on a seminar on Technology for the Young Professional. It starts at 6 at Great Lakes Brewing Co. Rockefeller Room. Speaksers are JJ DeGeronimo of TechEdge and George Nemeth of Brewed Fresh Daily. I highly recommend it to everyone.

2006-01-20T00:18:00.000-05:00

In light of the Skating with Celebritites and Dancing with the Stars, my brother wondered just how far reality televisin will go next. Can you just see it: Sleeping with Celebrities? Average Americans sleeping with C level "celebrities."

I'm scared that if that is pitched to Fox, they will pick it up...

And I went rock climbing for the first time ever today at Cleveland Rock Gym, this indoor place in South Euclid. I can barely lift my hands to type. This was incredibly hard for me. First, I have no arm muscles. At all. My leg muscles are decent from soccer and whatnot, but no arm muscles. So climbing was difficult, but not utterly impossible for me. (I didn't use my arms really until the third wall. But the last wall was all arms. Had I not tried that, I think I would have been ok.) But what was miserably impossible for me was once I got to the top.

Ok, the first wall I tried was the far left in this photo. You can see that it inclines. So you get to the top...then what? You are supposed to hold onto the rope (i.e. let go of the rocks that are keeping you from falling!) and lean back.

What the HELL?! Are you f'ing kidding me?? No way in hell am I doing that!!
I sat up there just clinging onto the rocks or dear life for a minute or two. Just hanging out. There was no way I could do that. Let go and lean back??? LEAN BACK? Just sort of free fall?? What?! I tried climbing down the wall in a way but I didn't have the rope to do it. I was miserable. I was making a scene and had no idea what to do. I don't have any memory of getting down this wall.

You see that corner wall second from the left? Not the one that the guy in grey is climbing on, but the maroon one to his left? I'm climbing that one, and using the red one as well so it's like a 90 degree place. Which gets smaller. Where the hell do you do that? It's impossible. I'm on that thing but I'm stuck b/c the corner is so small and my feet are the wrong way. I'm stuck, unsure where to go, and frustrated. Exasperated, I call out, "I'm not smart enough for this." Well, evidently, this is a weird statement to make. Later, some guy came up to me when I was on the ground to laugh and me and tell me that in all his time climbing (14 years) he's never heard that and there should be a board of quotes. Great. We had one of those in college. I was never good to be put on that board. (Our "board" was puffy paint on the window.)

Now, when I say that I was not comfortable falling, you have to understand that while getting up was ok (ok, not ok, I had a hard time, but not impossible) saying I was "not comfortable falling" is an incredible under-exaggeration (is that a word?)

Even after that first wall, once I got to the top, tears would form in my eyes when I realized that that meant. I was not able to get down. EVERY time - and I do mean every time - I finally got down from the wall I was shaking. I am a control freak (big chorus of, "you? really? No!" from my friends, who can all go to hell.) And god help me, the one time that I lost my grip on the wall and fell (when I wasn't expecting to) I screamed for a moment, then I got myself back on the wall, and started to climb again, and said, "I want down." My instructed, trying to be supportive, says, "oh, no, you got it, keep going." "No, I want down." I insist. More positive team rah rah bullshit. "I want down, I want down, I want down, I want down." (At least I think that's what I said. I meant to, at least.) I was so panic stricken at this point. By now, I'm almost hyperventilating and my arms won't stop shaking and so I can't hold only anything. I get down and I wasn't just slightly shaking but full out, panic stricken, my hands won't stay still shaking. I sat on the floor while my friend climbed the wall and even when she got off the wall, I was still shaking. At least I wasn't hyperventilating anymore though, right? (Later that night, I did conquor that wall. Pride wouldn't allow me not to.)

AND I broke my nail. The nails that are left are digusting and dirty.

I hate things that I'm a failure at. It frustrates me to no end to suck at something. There was one wall I never made it up. Hell, I never made it beyond about four movies - and two of those moves were side to side. It was quite pathetic. And the thing is, I can't even figure out how to get up it.

Also, I realized that I've never participated in a solo sport. I always participated in team sports against an opponent. This was me against the wall. No teammates. No opponents. Just me. (No, I've never been a runner for the same reason.) It was definitely different.

Finally, I have this friend. Except we're currently not talking, so I guess he's not a friend. I'm not really sure why. Anyway, my friends and I were talking about him today. It's important to know that they can't stand him. Actual hatred, I fear. So one commented, "I think that he is f'ed up. ... It sucks, but maybe you'll meet the man of your dreams/next guy with a crap load of issues at the auction." Ever supportive, the second replied, "Ah to dream the impossible dream...maybe this one will have mother issues too." Just for the record, I'm not into mommy issues. Emotionally unavailable assholes who aren't interested, yeah, I'm all over that. But mommy issues? Please. Who needs that bullshit?

2006-01-18T11:42:00.000-05:00

So, I was talked into participating in the Easter Seals thing, the Bachelor and Bachelorette Bid. (It's on Thursday, February 16 at the Holiday Inn on Rockside Road. Drop me an email or leave a comment if you are interested in coming. We have to sell tickets each at $35. The proceeds to go Easter Seals. I can remind you how Easter Seals helps over a million people with disabilities every year through child development centers, physical rehabilititation, and job training. But you know that. If that's not seller enough, you get to see me make an ass of myself. What better way to spend a Thursday night?? If you can't make it, I can always take a tax deductable check for $20.)

But anyway, part of the deal (which was signed in blood - should I be worried about this?) is that we have to come up with a date package. Something for people to bid on. My friend said to offer a blow job in the parking lot. Actually, let's not call him a friend. Let's call him a crude acquientance that I spent too much time with because of mutual friends and mutual interests. But I digress.

Anyway, I was thinking more along the lines of a tandem skydiving jump. (Not the winner and I, the winner with an experienced jumper, and me with an experienced jumper.) :) However, I'm worried that this will frighten away too many people. That too many people are afraid of heights/afraid of jumping out of a perfectly good airplane/afraid of death, whatever. So I'm sorta polling to see how many people would not bid on someone if the date package was skydiving, and how many people would be more inclined to do so.

And does anyone have any better ideas for a date package? Not the usual dinner/ball game (as much as I love baseball) or dinner/comedian. But something different and fun?

Oh, a lot of people get to my blog by googline Jump Back Ball in Cleveland right now. If you are interested in coming to that (which is the best party in Cleveland all year in my opinion) let me know and I'll email you the order form. I'm selling tickets. Those are $130 and include dinner, entertainment, and an open bar. Then you'll get to see me in costume as well. :)

Thanks guys. You all rock!!

2006-01-16T10:53:00.000-05:00

Saturday night I went on a Mystery Pubcrawl that was written about in The Plain Dealer. 220 people, 5 buses. 4 bars. Jello shots. Men without shirts (on our way to the first bar!) And that's all great, but I want to share a funny (?) story. Bar #3 (I think) of the barcrawl, I saw the managing partner and Yoda (and their wives). Now understand that at this point, I'm 14 jello shots, 1 beer, 3 Smirnoff Twisted, and 2 Smirnoff Ice into the evening. In other words, I'm the opposite of sober. So...I went up and hugged them. AND their wives. Umm... yeah. SO getting fired.

Other than that, it was a good time. I met some interesting people. (One who told me I looked like Salma Hayek in Frida...which I took as an insult.) It was a good time. I really liked not knowing what was next. Me, the control freak, and I liked that. And I liked being on the bus travelling and whatnot. Something about jello shots, bad beer, and loudness is just fun.

Nothing shows you how completely out od shape you are quicker than indoor soccer. The game last night (and I do mean last night. Who plays at 10 pm? That's inhuman!!) was against high school kids. They weren't even all able to drive!! Their parents were there. Hell, the game doesn't end until 11, and that's after curfew as well!!

And the girls would push off b/c the guys on our team were hesitant about playing hard against little girls who didn't even have breasts, 15 years younger. So they were getting away with A LOT. At one point, one of them FINALLY got called for the foul, and the girl on the bench was like, "oh, come on, she's 14 and he's 42!" 42?!?!? 42?!?!? Are you kidding me?? Oh, my!! I mean, I remember that when I was that young, all "old" people seem really old, but I'm not even 30 yet!! And there are a few people on the team who are 22 or 23. The average age is probablt 25 or so. C'mon! 42!!

You can tell they are young, and they haven't really been exposed to alcohol, let alone ever tried to play a soccer game hung over. The last 10 minutes of the first half, and the entire second part of the second half, we were dragging. As I said, nothing illustratse just how out of shape you actually are better than indoor soccer.

And for those who watch 24 (and I admit being addicted) OH.MY.GOD...

2006-01-13T17:40:00.000-05:00

When I was young, our Christmas tree would stay up all January. First, we always left the tree up until at least Orthodox Christmas, January 7. This was odd to me because the Greek Orthodox churches here don't celebrate Orthodox Christmas (though ironically, we do celebrate Orthodox Easter). But I was a child, who am I to question the logic of adults?

Then, because we are Greek, it took a while to get anything done. Including taking ornaments off the Christmas tree and dragging it to the garbage. What would take a normal person about half an hour could easily take a Greek ten times that. So by the time it made it's way to the curb, the tree had no needles left on it, and you were reasonably sure you'd never be able to walk on your left foot again.

I thought, "well, I'm only half Greek, I'll only be half as bad."

HA.

I have never had a fake Christmas tree. My family always believed in real trees. But this year, I have a fake tree. And it occurred to me that I can leave my Christmas tree up until July, I can have a true Christmas in July event. And it's not like the tree will die. Granted, the neighbors may start to stare, but I really like coming home to a house with the Christmas tree in the front window all lit up. It makes me happy.

So my question: how long can I leave the tree up before my neighbors start to talk?

No, scratch that. My question: if I don't care if my neighbors start to talk, is there any reason why I can't leave my tree up all year?

2006-01-11T13:26:00.000-05:00

Cooking Lesson 101

I tried making chicken wings last night. I had bought myself a fryer for Christmas, and figured, "hell, good of time as any. I'm home tonight, I'll do laundry, I'll make dinner, I'll watch a DVD."

Well, we learned (the hard way) why this is not a good idea.

First, you can really only cook 3 chicken wings at a time, so if you want 6 chicken wings, the first 3 are cold by the time the other 3 come out.

Second, and more importantly, my ENTIRE house smells AWFUL now. Like oil. But it's in the friggin' AIR. When you breath, you are breathing oil, I swear to god.

Mental note, if you get a craving for chiken wings, just GO OUT TO EAT. DO NOT attempt this on your own.

2006-01-10T22:13:00.000-05:00

I found this Hershey's Kiss on the floor. I was confused. I had some when everyone came over on Christmas, but I took them to my grandparents later that week, and why was it on the ground in another room? But I picked it up, and out it on the kitchen table.

A few hours later, I walked into the kitchen, and it was on the floor again by the steps. At this point, I'm fairly certain that my house is haunted. I pick it up again, and put it again on the kitchen table. I get a drink and walk to my chair.

Maybe 15 minutes later, my one cat walks over to me, and drops it at my feet. Like it's some sort of toy. She is carrying it around by that little piece of paper that says Hershey's on it. And apparently has been doing this for some time. My cat is such a dork.

Oh, and speaking of dorks, I have a crush on Josh Radnor, who plays Ted in How I Met Your Mother.

2006-01-08T21:08:00.000-05:00

So a theatre in Utal pulled Brokeback Mountain:

Gayle Ruzicka, president of the conservative Utah Eagle Forum, said not showing the film set an example for the people of Utah. "I just think (pulling the show) tells the young people especially that maybe there is something wrong with this show," she said.

I am so disgusted with the hatred. It's a love story. I saw the movie. It's fantastic. I urge everyone to see it. It's beautifully written and well-acted. Do I like the attention that it's getting as "the gay cowboy movie?" No. I'd rather they just call it a love story. But I accept the fact that people need to do that. But to refuse to show it at a theatre?? Let people make the decision for themselves if there is someting wrong with the movie or not.

This is a fun website. I like the color visualizer. You can "paint" interiors. My friends are appalled. I enjoy teal with orange. It's so awful together that I must do it.

I also bought a dress for the Easter Seals raffle. I was looking for a cocktail length red dress. That is not what I ended up with. Perhaps I'll keep looking...

And for Jump Back Ball (which I urge everyone in Cleveland to attend, it's easily the best party in town.), I've decided rather than due black tie (like I've done the last two years), I'm going in costume. (It's a black tie/costume theme party). This year's theme is Frolic on 42nd Street - A Jumpback to Broadway. I don't want to spoil the surprise of who I am going as, but I can assure you that I will be comfortable! Last year, my feet were in pain. So that's exciting.

2006-01-02T02:15:00.000-05:00

*TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey*
Name:	Stephanie
Birthday:	9 July 1976
Birthplace:	Ohio
Current Location:	Cleveland, Ohio
Eye Color:	Dark Brown
Hair Color:	Dark Brown
Height:	5'7"
Right Handed or Left Handed:	Right
Your Heritage:	Greek, English and Scottish
The Shoes You Wore Today:	Adidas soccer shoes
Your Weakness:	Too many to count
Your Fears:	Too personal to name
Your Perfect Pizza:	I just like cheese
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	Both too many to count and too personal to name.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	I don't use IM
Thoughts First Waking Up:	Already?
Your Best Physical Feature:	Maybe my eyes?
Your Bedtime:	Late. I'm a night owl.
Your Most Missed Memory:	Being in school.
Pepsi or Coke:	Regular coke. But now I don't drink caffeine. So caffeine free diet pepsi
MacDonalds or Burger King:	Neither
Single or Group Dates:	Depends on the guy
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	Neither
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Vanilla - no smart ass comments from my friends!
Cappuccino or Coffee:	Don't drink caffeine so I don't care
Do you Smoke:	No
Do you Swear:	Yes
Do you Sing:	I prefer to use the word 'seranade' perfect strangers...
Do you Shower Daily:	Hell, I don't even get dressed on some Sundays.
Have you Been in Love:	No
Do you want to go to College:	Already went. Had a great time.
Do you want to get Married:	If I find someone who I want to marry. Otherwise, no.
Do you belive in yourself:	On my better days.
Do you get Motion Sickness:	Rarely.
Do you think you are Attractive:	Again, on my better days.
Are you a Health Freak:	Not really
Do you get along with your Parents:	Usually.
*Do you like Thunderstorms:*
Do you play an Instrument:	No
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	Yes. Hell, the answer is the same if you as in the past 24 hours.
In the past month have you Smoked:	No
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	No
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	No
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	Unfortunately. With Christmas and all.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	No
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	No
In the past month have you been on Stage:	No
In the past month have you been Dumped:	No
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	No
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	No
Ever been Drunk:	Yes
Ever been called a Tease:	No
Ever been Beaten up:	Yes
Ever Shoplifted:	I plead the Fifth. How about in the last 15 years?
How do you want to Die:	Either in my sleep, or in a blaze of glory.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	Hell if I know.
What country would you most like to Visit:	Greece or Italy. Again.
*In a Boy/Girl..*
Favourite Eye Color:	Green
Favourite Hair Color:	Dark Brown.
Short or Long Hair:	I generally go for longer hair on my guys. Scruffy sort.
Height:	Taller than me (in heels) is a must.
Weight:	I prefer tall and lanky so that goes with the territory.
Best Clothing Style:	Casual. Jeans. etc.
Number of Drugs I have taken:	One
Number of CDs I own:	Are you serious?? I can't even count that high.
Number of Piercings:	Four - three in my ears.
Number of Tattoos:	None.
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	Truly regret? Just one.
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

2005-12-26T23:20:00.000-05:00

Happy Holidays everyone!

To further define irony, it snowed Christmas night, so I woke up to a white ground again on the 26th.

Christmas dinner went off well. And my grandparents had a good time, which is really the perfect Christmas present. Though my dad did have to bring plates over. D'oh! But at least after Christmas, I have silverware. That's an adult accomplishment, right?

So I've had a great day off work. I read a couple of books (well, I'm not done with the second yet). I watched a few movies (Brothers Grimm and The 40 Year Old Virgin.) I drank some wine (pinot grigio - and no, I don't like wine generally). I have candles lit (it's a combined smell of vanilla, black cherry and bluebery and is heavenly). And I'm currently watching Field of Dreams right now (my ultimate chicken soup movie - I love the concept of magic. And baseball.) Life is, simply put, perfect.

So I hope that everyone had a wonderful holiday. And that they are looking forward to New Years Eve celebrations.

2005-12-24T17:13:00.000-05:00

Define irony.

I haven't seen the f'ing grass since the Monday after Thanksgiving. It's been covered by this white shit that just refuses to go away. Which is bad enough - I'm not one to goo how "pretty" the snow looks.

But now, on the eve of Christmas eve and Christmas eve, it gets unseasonably warm and - you guessed it - the snow is quickly melting. Which means there is more green than white. Looks like we won't have a white Christmas...

And I have learned that, if you decide to invite your grandparents, parents, and siblings over for Christmas dinner, make sure that you can actually PLAN a Christmas dinner. I don't have enough chairs for everoyne. Hell, I don't even have enough plates and bowls for everyone. (I do, however know I'll have enough utensils for everyone SOLELY because I know that I am getting a set of 12 for Christmas from my father.)

2005-12-22T18:49:00.000-05:00

Dear Old Navy,
Why do you hate me? I understand that size 2 jeans are adorable. But the number of people who wear size 2 jeans, well, there aren't that many of them. That is why you have about 100 pairs of jeans left in size 2, and NO jeans left in size 8 or 10. All I wanted in life was a pair blue jeans to wear out tonight. Now, I must do laundry. You suck, Old Navy.

2005-12-19T18:24:00.000-05:00

Who's the more fool, the fool or the fool who follows him?

2005-12-18T21:06:00.000-05:00

When Bush talked about dictators in other countries attempting to silence dissent, did anyone else do a double take?? I shook my head so hard that I gave myself whiplash.

2005-12-14T10:57:00.000-05:00

Bad day. Walking into work today, I have a gift bag. My friends and I are having a "Naughty or Nice" gift exchange this evening. The gift bag broke, and stuff spilled all over the floor. This was made worse by helpful people and some of the stuff IN the bag. For example, a partner helped me pick stuff up - and grabbed the box of condoms...

2005-12-10T10:29:00.000-05:00

The downside to being a girl.

Not equal pay, having to carry

No, the downside is not buying your own drinks at the bar, but rather having the males you are with perpetually buy them.

Ok, so that's obviously not really a downside, but it sure makes it harder to keep track of how much you drink when you go out. So you think that you aren't drinking that much, and then in hindsight, you realize that no, you actually had way more than that.

That's not necessarily a good realization for a Saturday morning.

2005-12-09T16:02:00.000-05:00

Playing soccer in 8 inches of snow is an experience. The ref actually had to take a shovel and was shovelling the snow off the field. (Just the sidelines so we could see out of bounds and the goal area). You can't dribble the ball, and it is unpredictable in how it moves and if it stays in bounds. The game involved a lot of falling, a lot of slipping, forgetting the ball, and totally missing it. Oh, and one or two snow angels. Granted, my toes were FREEZING by the end of the game, but still...

Soccer is not meant to be played in 8 inches of snow...but it sure makes it more fun to watch. I could not stop laughing. And there were two idiots in shorts. (One was my brother.)

And in the second half, the ref actually laced up and played on the other team. The funny part was that without him, they were winning. With him, we won scored 5 unanswered goals to win 7-4. (Though to be fair, that was less his fault and more that my team stopped laughing at each other.

But there were these cars that kept driving by, really slowly, every few minutes. And it was mostly the same cars. I am not sure if I should expect to see in the paper, "stupid white kids play soccer in snow" or if some drug dealers were getting a little pissy at us... Regardless, it freaked me out.

2005-12-08T00:08:00.000-05:00

The Daily Show was quite funny today. Especially Jon Stewart's Christmas present to, well, likely all conservative religious freaks. Isn't he the giving sort?

I bought a new iPod, but getting my music on it is less than fun. It's exhausting, actually. Because the new iPod need different cables than the old one, and my work computer (where all my music is) doesn't have those capabilities. So...yeah, that kinds sucks. Granted, I know nothing about computers, so I bet there is an an easier (and lesss time consuming) way to get all this done. Seriously, I can put like 700 MB on one cd (which is tons of songs) and then copy them to my laptop, but then do I literally have to click on each one of those songs to open it in iTunes? I mean, hell, it's 5000 songs?? Though I guess at the end of the day, all I care about is my music. It's just taking FOREVER to get it. As for tomorrow, I shall have to deal with 500 songs (I have a seminar to attend.) And not all my REM are on there yet either. Yikes. It will obviously be a tough day. (And that's before I try to play soccer without cleats and shins - my brother was going to try to pick some up for me before tomorrow, but assuming he doesn't, I'm playing in several inches of snow in my indoor flats. Fun...

Oh, but my iPod is black. The other one was white. I'm more of a black girl. So at least the iPod is Stephanie-ish. That's a good thing, right?

I'm watching the claymation of Rudolph. Why on earth does the elf want to be a dentist? That is silly.

2005-12-06T15:32:00.000-05:00

I got yet another email about my lack of blog updating today:

I have yet to see your blog updated. While yesterday's concert was average at
best for the BNL, you were treated to a song I haven't heard them do in 10 years
(Rio) and a song I've never heard in concert, that is not on any album, that
I've heard rumors of for 5 or 6 years (Powder Blue). So I was excited.

Ok. So I obviously went to the BNL concert last night. At the Palace Theatre. (I have to go there tonight for a meeting. I spend a lot of time there.) They actually sang *my* favorite song, "What a Good Boy." So that excited me. As well as all other other greatest hits, and some Christmas songs. Though I have to say, my knees were in agony. How is it that I can play soccer and be fine, but JUST STANDING during a concert and I swear that I was going to die?? That makes no sense.

So before the concert, the BNL were milling around. This guy, maybe in his 40s or 50s, jumps (and I mean JUMPS) over seats and SKIPS over to the crowd. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, he skipped. SKIPPED I tell you. I couldn't stop laughing. It was a sad, sad moment in humanity.

But yesterday wasn't just a good day, it was a GREAT day. Why great, you ask? Because I got my REM Fan Club Christmas gift. The calendar has some great pictures in it. I'm partial to December (black and white photo of Michael Stipe int he snow in some town) and November shot of back of Michael's head at the Coliseum in Rome - where I went to see them. So I was in Rome at the same time as he was. And I went to the Coliseum. I wonder if we were there at the same time? I prefer to thnk yes...

It also had a vide of two performance live - Turn You Inside Out and The Great Beyond. I love the latter b/c it has the lyrics, "I'm bending spoons" which, for some reason, I like.

I takes so little for a great day. Just REM, really...

BUT I heard a rumor that JK Rowling has stated that she does, in fact, plant to kill Harry off in Book 7. That's so unfair. Harry has had a shit life. You've already killed off Dumbledore and Sirius, his parents are dead, why kill Harry too?? WHYYYY????

2005-12-04T22:01:00.000-05:00

In the newspaper today, I read that 43% of the people think that Ebenezer Scrooge is a Republican, compaired with 21% who think he's a Democrat. Interesting...I don't remember politics woven a Dickens' A Christmas Tale. Written in 1843. Especially since the Republican Party wasn't founded until 1854...

Also 27% of peple believe Santa is a Democrat, compared with 16% who think he is a Republican (also 6% say that he is a member of the Green Party and 21% believe that Santa is an Independent). Santa is in the North Pole, right? I know I'm not skilled in geography, but Alaska isn't the North Pole, right? So technically, the North Pole may not have the US political parties.

And perhaps the better question - who even thinks of these things? And who can answer these with a straight face?

So I didn't get to the go the Browns game. I got a call at 6 pm last night telling me that I had to work today. I was a dissatsified Stephanie in life. Alas, my Browns ticket went to waste. It was the only game I was going to this season as well, so I'm pretty disappointed.

2005-12-02T11:02:00.000-05:00

The Cleveland Professional 20/30 Club had their Holiday party last night at Velvet Dog. I went early because I had soccer at 6.30 and 7.30, so I had to leave by 6.20. (Many may doubt whether I'd leave if I was at a bar. For the second game in a row, I actually did. My friend had to go to class at 6.30, so he made sure that I left when he did.)

Anyway, I get to my car (which I parked on Frankfort b/w W3rd and W6th rather in the lot b/c I was only there for 40 minutes) and my window was broken and someone stole all my stuff out of it. By this I mean my purse and all its contents (of which I'm most upset about my iPod - I LIVE on that thing), my briefcase for work and all its contents (and since I put my makeup on in the car this morning - lecture me later - that includes all my makeup. Of course, all my makeup is foundation, mascara, and blush, but still, it was MINE), and my soccer bag (so my cleats, shins, WARM CLOTHES, including my college sweatshirt that is truly irreplacable). All in all, over $100o was stolen.

I was so freaked out. Literally, I could not think. I am a control freak (try to contain your shock) and this really freaked me out. I called my dad and got his VM so I left him a message and called my friend who had been at the bar with me. He came over and during that time I was waiting, I called 911 (Cleveland Police said that I had to go to them) and my dad called - he just got out of the Justice Center which was within spitting distance from where I was, so he came over. It was really funny, my friend was picked glass from my car when my dad came up with his work car. And I say to my friend, "oh, good, [local television station] is here now." And he says, "no they aren't; you didn't call them." And I said that I did and pointed to the car, which has the news channel on it, and my friend asked if I was nuts. The look on his face - before I said it was my dad - was classic.

So the big pieces of glass were removed, my friend gave me two towels to put on the seat and floor in case they missed any class so I wouldn't cut myself, and I drove in the freezing cold to the police station. Since I had to come to them. What about fingerprinting? What about looking for witnesses? Evidence??

So after dealing with the Cleveland Police Department filing my police report for about an hour (where all I kept saying is that people suck) obviously my night was over. Except I was pissed - *I* like to decide when my night is over, you know? So I went to the soccer game (without a coat and dressed for work - damn thieves have my soccer stuff now!), mainly b/c it was the ref's last game b/c he's having surgery and I wanted to say hi. I ended up staying there for more than half the game. It was freezing.

Then I drove to my dad's house to get his car (he has a work car that he is using during the day) and went back to downtown. I know, I'm stupid, but it's like being upset when this happened that I couldn't go play soccer (which is all I kept saying at the police station), I felt like I was reaaserting control over my life, which gave me comfort. Like the sooner that I did "normal" things life would go back to normal. I know it makes no sense but that's the way that I felt.

So now I'm on the phone with my insurance company and glass companies trying to find someone who can do this for me TODAY rather than Monday. The best I have found is tomorrow - I'm about to go with that I think. They will at least come to me and I don't have to go to them. But that still leaves me without a car for today. My dad can't drive his work car when he's not working and all that stuff. This is just an incredible hastle that I don't need.

I said it all last night and I'll say it again - People Suck.

In other news, this weekend is not one, but TWO shows of Trans-Siberian Orchestra. (Actually, they are here for three shows, but I only have tickets to two of them. I show some restraint, don't I? And I couldn't find anyone who wanted to go to the third show.) I'm also going to the Browns game this Sunday. Tailgating, the entire party. I suspect that because God likes messing with me, it will be cold out again. Or maybe because it's December.

Speaking of, can you believe that it's Christmas? That is amazing. I can't believe how fast this year has gone. And I didn't do too bad with my New Year's Resolution as well. You can always do better, of course, but overall, I get a "passing" grade on sustaining New Year's Resolutions.

And I got the tickets that I have to sell for this Easter Seals Guys and Dolls Bachelor and Bachelorette Bid were there. Yikes. Anyone want to pay $40 to come and see this event? It's all a good cause. Let me know. I need to sell 8, and I think that if you could the random search engine people, I have 8 readers. OK, maybe not.

2005-11-27T17:56:00.000-05:00

So want to hear funny? I've never been hung over. All I know about hang overs is that people who are hung over make comments like, "Oh, I feel like shit." So when I woke up and was dizzy on Wednesday, I assumed I was still drunk. And when I felt like shit that sfternoon, I assumed that I was hung over. That makes sense, right?

What no one explained to me was that being hung over wouldn't make your throat sore to swallow. I knew that hung over people couldn't eat. I couldn't eat. But it wasn't because I wasn't hungry or couldn't keep food down, my tonsils were so swollen and white that I literally could not swallow. Evidently, that is different. My body still hurt, I wasn't able to concentrate, I had a headache - all these are symptoms of a hangover, right? Especially when you drank a bit the evening before.

I'm slow, not stupid. When I woke up on Thursday still dizzy, and I had a bigger headache, my body was even more sore, and my throat hurt even more, I realized that I wasn't hungover, I was sick. This is bad because when one is sick on Thanksgiving, they cannot eat (or enjoy) Thanksgiving dinner. And I didn't want to make my family sick. I tried to be social but I felt awful. At one point, the world started spinning and I had to lay down. Not really the best way to spend Thanksgiving.

Friday was the biggest shopping day of the year. So of course, I spent it as far away from stores as I could. Actually, I had to work. But even if I didn't have to work, there isn't anythink in the world that would have convinced me to go to the malls. Ugh! My sublings both work in retail while they are in school. and they had to deal with people. I'm sorry, those "door buster" sales where they want you at the stores at 5 am - are you kidding me?? I don't care how good the sale.

I played football Saturday and really hurt my thumb. I also hurt my knee, but I'm used to that (it was bending the wrong way. Yes, that's somewhat normal. Disgusting, no?) It was freezing Saturday. Freezing! The 9 am and 10 am games were miserable. We had a BBQ during our off our, then it started to get warmer for the 12 game. At the 1 game, it was actually warm. I started taking off some of the 8 (yes, 8) layers of shirts that I was wearing. Once that sun came out, it was really warm!

Then, last night I went to Howl At The Moon. Where I haven't been in forever. A college friend came to visit me and we treked out there. Unfortunately, Rich, who sings my It's The End Of The World wasn't there. I asked Matt (one of the other players) if anyone else knew it. He assumed me that T knew it. (The one with the RuPaul earrings from last summer, but he wasn't wearing them yesterday. He later told me that he stopped wearing it. I can see why - RuPaul literally had the same dangly earring. I'd be scared to wear it too.) :)

AND Billy no longer works there. Oh, the shock!! Still, they sing fun 80s music and it's happy. I just didn't have anyone to lust after. Sadly, I know.

And now, I work...

2005-11-23T17:10:00.000-05:00

When one is having a bad day, one should never start to drink. The day will not end well. Yesterday constitutes a "not good day." Therefore, it makes perfect sense for me to have five glasses of wine, some Tropical Punch drink created by Rob (the bartender) and two or three (I stopped being able to count) sex on the dryer drinks. (I have no idea what that was, but it was yummy, so if anyone is at D'Vine, as for that.)

I had plans to go to happy hour with my football team even before I started having a bad day. But "a drink" and "several drinks" are two different things. I was totally unable to drive home. Thankfully, my friend drove me home AND picked my ass up this morning and drove me to work. Aww...

And a text message was sent to a certain boy. It said, "I'm sure you know by now, but I am into you, we should go out sometime. Call me."

This to me is forward and direct, and invites a response. Even if the response is, "are you f-ing kidding me? I'm not interested!"

However, he didn't respond. So my ego is wounded (this is the same boy who wounded my ego a while back, so at least multiple boys aren't wounding my pride.)

Rob, the bartenderm told me that if he was not into me, he was clearly gay. (I think the bartender just liked me b/c I was wearing a low cut shirt. That's ok, I've been liked for worse reasons.)

And I woke up at 6 am still somewhat drunk.

2005-11-22T14:40:00.000-05:00

I went to Target last night. There were people liked out outside ready for the new Nintendo 360. It was freezing last night. Idiots. I make fun of those 5 am day after Thanksgiving shoppers too. There isn't a sale in the world that gets me up and at a store at that time.

Driving in this am, the wind was blowing quite hard, and watching the waves crash into the rocks (and sometimes onto the shoreways!) was awesome. (Yes, I was doing that when I should have been watching the road...) But seriously, it was great. I love going by the lake whent he wind is whipping like that. It takes days to get all the knots out of my hair, but at the same time, it's totally worth it. I'm one of those awful people who, when driving a convertible, likes to stand and have the wind blow at me. Same with a moon roof (or is a sun roof, I can never tell the difference). I know, I know, it's dangerous, so don't tell the police. They'll watch out for me then, and we can't have that.

I need a drink...

2005-11-21T16:25:00.000-05:00

You know what I meant to tell you yesterday and I forgot to? Go read Christopher Moore's Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal. My friend lent it to me and it is hysterical. Lines are just thrown out. For example, two angels talking:

Angel 1: Bring me back some chocolate.
Angel 2: Chocolate?
Angel 1: You''ll like it. Satan invented it.
Angel 2: Devil's food?
Angel 1: You can only eat so much white cake.

(Think about it for a moment. I said the line to someone and got a blank look.) Check the book out. For reals. It's classic. It's the lost years of Jesus.

And this story is too priceless. Understand, I am a horoscope type of girl. The "What's your sign" line probably would have worked on my back in the day when it was popular. I love reading my horoscope. In fact, I read it and try to interpret it (with the help of two of my friends) on a daily basis. I mean, how else does one make decisions in life? Rely solely on the Magic 8 Ball? But anyway, read this story. The best part:

Thai Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra has said that he will not answer reproters' questions until after next year because the alighment of the planets is not in his favor.

"Right now Mercury ... is in a corner perfectly aligned with my star. Mercury is no good, so if it's not good, I am going to request not to speak. I'll just wait until next year to talk," Thaksin told reporters Sunday after returning to Bangkok from a trip to South Korea and China.

He added that Mercury moves slowly and will not steer clear of his star until next year.

How classic is that? Can I refuse to work when Mercury does a number on me?

2005-11-20T15:40:00.000-05:00

Ohio State/Michigan. I went to the Dive Bar. I got there around 11 - my friends were there around 10. Do you have any idea how dangerous that is, to start drinking when that early in the am? (Though it makes for an early night usually - people are rather drunk and tired by 6 and there is no way they are making it all night until 2 am.)

But it was a great place to watcth the game. The atmosphere was awesome. At least if you were an OSU fan. (How many times can drunk 20-30 somethings sing, "Hang on Sloopy." Oh, and can I just say that whatever else, Jim Tressel is a god. 4-1 vs Michigan. They have no power over whether they will get a BSC berth, but I suspect that they will. They certainly did nothing yesterday to hurt that (other than special teams and turnovrs), and their two losses came to the team ranked #1/2 and by the co-champs of the Big 10. On the road. I think they should go. But as I said, OSU has no power over that. (I would like to tell everyone that as a matter of fact, I did not drink at the bar. At all.)

Harry Potter left out so much. It was driving my crazy. I understand why - the book was way too long. But oh my gosh, that was evil. And someone told me it was 3 hours long; it was clearly much less.

2005-11-18T14:23:00.000-05:00

I was told that I must update my blog b/c a blog must be updated everyday. I'm sorry - I don't have time to do that. Though I will humor you today...

The State of the City Address on Wednesday was nice, though I was (again) unimpressed and uninspired by Frank Jackson. Shock, I know. Earlier that day, I was a runaway slave doing a reenactment of the underground railroad at Hale Farm and Village. We had to sign a waiver: "During the program, I will be portraying the part of a figitive slave in the year 1852. This program is designed to smulate the xperiences of a typical fugitive slave, and includes the use of aggressive language and intimidation. Mild profanity may be used. At no time will visitors ever be in physical danger." First, I wasn't allowed to look anyone in the eye, so when I went to the State of the City, I had to remind myself I was now allowed to look people in the eye because I wasn't slave in 1852. It was very confusing for someone like me. Second, because I came from running around Hale Farm in the mud, I was wearing jean and sneakers. I didn't have time to get home before I went to the State of the City Address. Needless to say, I was the only person there in jeans. Awesome. Luciky, I really don't care.

Last night, the dumbest thing that I did all day was go out to play soccer. It was in the 20s when I played, and I actually played two games. I was dressed in so many layers it wasn't even funny. I had on two layers of socks, two layers of pants, five layers of shirts (all grey, which is our team color), a hat, gloves, a scarf. I looked ridiculous. Abslutely ridiculous. And it didn't even work that much. The first game I felt ok, playing forward and running around and whatnot. The second game I was playing defense and I was absolutely freezing. I couldn't warm up no matter what, and it actually hurt my foot when I kicked the ball. I tell you, soccer was not meant to be played in the snow when it's 25 degrees out. Do you have any idea what it feels like when that cold, hard ball his your? And two guys were actually playing in shorts. They were INSANE. I mean, I'm questionably certifiable b/c I play in the fall session, but two two guys in shorts were INSANE.

I went out with two guys on the other team again, one of the guys on my softball team, and four of my friends. It was an odd mixing, but that's ok. I do think that we scared the two guys from the other team. My friends and I can be a bit...much...when we get together, I guess.

Tonight, I am going to see Harry Potter. I am such a dork, I know. :) I also bought Rent tickets for February. It's my favorite musical. In fact, the other day I had the music going through my head. It's sad when I can hear the entire musical in my head and don't even need my iPod to do it. I have problems, don't I? (Oh, that can be answered on so many levels...)

However, I was specifically asked to help Veronica Mars. Why such a great show needs help s beyond me. Americans are stupid. (I say this like, after all this time, it actually surprises me.) My friend told me to tell everyone that this week's Veronica may very well have been the best one ever. I am not sure if that's true, but any time that I have lots of Logan, I'm happy. Really, he is *such* an asshole. I adore him. I still maintain that he is the best character on television.

NEXT week's looks like it will be awesome though. "Watch Veronica Mars, Wednesdays at 9:00, UPN (yes, I know it's on opposite Lost. Either Tivo it, or watch it instead. Trust me. Please."

2005-11-15T18:14:00.000-05:00

I own a 12 inch Yoda Pex dispenser. I can feel the jealousy radiating even over the computer...

I've evidently disappointed a lot of people. Shocking, I know. But in the last day, I've gotten three emails demanding to know where I was. I'm loved, I really am. (More likely you have nothing better to do at work, but I'll take what I can get.) I'm not dead. I'm not kidnapped by Republicans. Not trapped under something heavy. I'm just a loser.

So what's my excuse. I could give some sort of "washing my hair" excuse, but really, I've been busy. Thus the lack of Stephanie-ness.

The Bon Jovi concert last Tuesday flat out rocked. I was exhausted - I had been up until 3.30 am working the night before. But it was a great concert. My favorite was there he sang Always, but it was done not the way he sings it on the album, and it was so awesome. So full of emotion. And I'm sorry, but regardless of whether he is 40, Bon Jovi is f-ing hot.

Wednesday I had a NCCJ business dinner/awards ceremony. Have you ever noticed that the meals at such events is always chicken? And chicken is some sort of unidentifiable sauce at that. I don't get it. I want to introduce them to other main dishses. Business awards dinners, meet beef. Or fish. But perhaps that's where the expression, "tastes like chicken" comes from? It *is* all chicken and whoever came up with the expression was too stupid to realize that.

Thursday was somewhat random. After playing in my two soccer games, I agreed to go out for drinks with the other team. Because my team was being lame. Have I mentioned the dirty team before? That's them. But they seem perfectly nice. I don't even remember which two it was from last season that made me call them the dirty team. But they were going out, and I do love my alcohol. So I tagged along. That was perfectly fun, and the one just might have out dorked me (it was close; I refuse to concede!) The only problem with being social with one's enemies is that I had a 6.30 am meeting on Friday (which, by the way, is ungodly. 6.30 AM I mean.) You now, I am uncapable of functioning that early in the am. And as I don't drink caffeine, that wasn't going to help. (I would have killed for some coke. I don't mean that as bad as it sounds.)

And then I went to DC. :) I didn't really do anything DC related. I ate out at different restaurants than I always eat out at here. I went shopping (my friends have come to the consensus that they hate my clothes. It's actually quite funny, b/c it started with two, and I'll mention it to someone else, and they'll say, "oh, me too." It's even funnier b/c my clothes are plain t-shirts. How does one hate plain t-shirts? Alas...) I went to seem my cousin, who lives in DC. I think he enjoys me b/c I'm crazy. And I mean that in the best way possible. Whenever anyone talks to me, they immediately feel better about their own lives. I have that effect on people. I suspect it's because of the mess I've made of my own life, but whatever.

But I should not be left to my own devices. So when talking to a couple of friends today about the type of guy that I should be with. Money quip: "In Stephanie's case, I think at least one person in every relationship should believe in gravity." I guess I agree that differences of opinion are good in a relationship.

OH! Arrested Development. One word to Fox: BOOOOOOO!

Tomorrow I am participating in a reenactment of the Underground Railroad at Hale Farm. It should be interesting. And of course, at night is the 2005 Northeast Ohio Top 25 Under 35: Movers and Shakers Awards & 2nd Annual State of the Young Professional City Address. It's being held at The Club at Key Center starting at 6.30. Everyone should try to make it if possible. It should be really interesting. And I'll be there, what else should mater. :)

Oh, and speaking of me, which I can do without impunity because this is my space to ramble in, when the times comes (February) I shall make all you from Cleveland come to the Easter Seals Guys and Dolls Raffle. I was talked into participating (and in turn, talked my friends into participating). Which means that I have to come up with a date package (ideas accepted. And keep in mind that I may have to spend the time with a sketchy 60 year old or something, so I'm hesitant on the overnight ideas) and whatnot. All the money goes to charity, but for those who know me, this is really taking me OUT of my comfort zone. So you will all be forced to come so that I will have someone to ramble to about how this isn't fun at all and how freaked out I am You can even try to win my friends. (I won't force you to raffle for me. Listening to me ramble on a blog is more than enough. Can you imagine me off online?)

Poor pig. :(

And I'm not sure if this is love or stupidity? Opinions?

2005-11-07T14:18:00.000-05:00

Weekends are always fun. There should be more weekends in life. Monday is such a terrible way to spent 1/7 of your life. In fact, even Sunday nights can suck. The anticipation and all. But not a good sort of anticipation. The "aww, shit" kind. Maybe that's why they have Desperate Housewives on Sundays? We are all desperate b/c the workweek is about to start? (Though last night did not suck; I went out to dinner to one of my favorite restaurants with my soccer team and harassed the cute waiter, who was somewhat overwhelmed and easily flustered, having to deal with 8 girls. We tipped well though).

Friday was typical Friday night drama. I said to my one friend, I've been relatively drama free for a while (for the most part) and I guess that I had been bottling up all that drama, and put 6 weeks of drama into one week. Mostly just a few days too. Excellent. Boy, am I tired! (Though not all the drama was mine. Official pronouncement: boys are stupid. Three girls, three boys who are stupid in three completely different ways.)

One of my oldest college friends came to visit me on Saturday. What was particularly great about that was that on Friday night, I was most depressed and felt all homesick for college and my college friends. Not that my friends here aren't great, because they are. But I need people around me who will be brutally honest with me, who will call me on my shit, and she said. The peopel who knows who I am and understand who I am working to become. (With old friends, it helps b/c they remember who I was as well.) And again, who will be honest with me and not try to spare my feelings because they don't want to hurt me.

So she came up here Saturday afternoon. We went to the football game (we lost. Shocker, I know. Though we played close. The score was 15-15 with 4 minutes left; they scored and we had about 45 seconds left but we were unable to score in that time. Though the ref gave us an extra 1 second on the clock I think. Maybe not, but it was questionable.) We went to the bar afterwards during which I drank and worked myself into a state of aggitation because of men. (OK, one man in particular, but whatever.) After that we went with a group to Dave and Busters. Where I console my hurt feelings with alcohol, games, and other men. (Does innocent flirting with one man you are not interested in b/c you were rejected by another man make me a bad or evil person? Probably. But on the grand scale of "evil," am I more like Darth Vader - who ultimately turned good again - or the evil Stepmother from Snow White? To Harry Potter geek out on you, am I Malfoy, who wouldn't have killed Dumbledore, or Snape, who did kill Dumbledore? How evil am I?)

Anyway, we leave the bar when it closes, and get home at 3 am. Walk up to my door. It's locked. This is most interesting to me because, in the year and a half I've lived at my house, the door has been locked a grand total of one time. And, incidently, it's this instance.

Now, normally, this is not a problem, b/c I carry a purse, so I'm carrying my car keys, which have a house key on them that I've never used. But unfortunately, a purse didn't really go with what I was wearing (read: I wasn't in the mood to carry it) and so I had my spare car keys with me - which do not have a house key attached. Which means, no, I'm locked outside my house. Visions of never being able to get into my house again, my 17 pound cat slowely starving to death, dance in my head.

But wait! We are in a garage! My garage is full of useful things. Footballs and soccer balls and baseballs and baseball gloves. Frisbees. Gold clubs. A lawn mover. A kiddie pool. And, yes, my tool box (which actually I normally keep inside the house.)

My friend goes to work and takes a screwdriver to take the door off the hinges. I never knew this was possible, and the fact that my pretty pretty princess, foo foo (she had a dust ruffle on her bed in college!) knew how to do this scared me. If *she* can break in that easily, who else can? Umm...anyone. (Except, evidently, me.) Anyway, she gets all three of the hunges off, but we can't get the door to open that way. There isn't enough room. So we contemplate, and decide to go to my dad's. he lives 5 minutes away, so that's ok. I tell her, "he won't even know we are here until the morning."

Famous last words...

We walk in (he doesn't lock the door either - but I had his spare key in my car. Don't ask why I keep his spare key in my car, but not mine. There is no positive answer and you'll just be disappointed in me.) We walk in and immediately get attacked by dogs. I think I whispered something profound like "dogs" to my friend - as if the yipping wasn't clue enough. That speaks more of my intelligence than hers. What I meant to say was, "Why are there dogs here? My dad doesn't HAVE any dogs." Anyway, my dad's girlfriend's dogs were spending the night (so was she) and thus,t he whole house woke up. Excellent.

Lesson of the week: fuck men, I don't understand them anyway so why bother trying. And make bloody copies of your key to keep at your dads, hidden in the garage, or hidden in my car. (Or, go wild and crazy and do all three...) Here's my qusetion- does that count as last week's lesson - since it occurred on Saturday? Or can I count it as this week's lesson, since Sunday was involved??

(Oh, if you were curious, in the morning, my dad went to my house with some took and opened my door in 30 seconds. The tool he took was bent so he was able to open the door. We had done the work stuff. So all's well that ends well. Though I didn't sleep much Saturday night.)

I'm going to the Bon Jovi concert tomorrow. And I paid for it. And I'm excited for it. Oh, I set the standards of coolness quite high, don't I?

Finally, today, one of my favorite poems is speaking to me. I know I've shared in the past, but this is my blog, and I'll repeat myself if I want to.

lesson of the moth

i was talking to a moth

the other evening

he was trying to break into

an electric light bulb

and fry himself on the wires

why do you fellows

pull this stunt i asked him

because it is the conventional

thing for moths or why

if that had been an uncovered

candle instead of an electric

light bulb you would

now be a small unsightly cinder

have you no sense

plenty of it he answered

but at times we get tired

of using it

we get bored with the routine

and crave beauty

and excitement

fire is beautiful

and we know that if we get

too close it will kill us

but what does that matter

it is better to be happy

for a moment

and be burned up with beauty

than to live a long time

and be bored all the while

so we wad all our life up

into one little roll

and then we shoot the roll

that is what life is for

it is better to be a part of beauty

for one instant and then cease to

exist than to exist forever

and never be a part of beauty

our attitude toward life

is come easy go easy

we are like human beings

used to be before they became

too civilized to enjoy themselves

and before i could argue him

out of his philosophy

he went and immolated himself

on a patent cigar lighter

i do not agree with him

myself i would rather have

half the happiness and twice

the longevity

but at the same time i wish

there was something i wanted

as badly as he wanted to fry himself

-archy

2005-11-04T12:04:00.000-05:00

My friends are wiser than me. Not hard, I know. But I collect them for their intellect, such as this:

Love is like a piñata - sometimes you swing and you miss and all you get is air, and you feel like a fool b/c your blindfolded and everyone is watching you miss; but every once in a while, when the timing is right, you swing, make a connection, and you the presents inside, which makes all of the foolish, blind swinging in the past seem worthwhile...

2005-11-02T17:57:00.000-05:00

This is the most beautiful part of living in Northeast Ohio. The annual changing of the trees, when the greens slip into brilliant shades of yellows and reds and oranges before falling the ground. Enjoy it, Cleveland!

2005-11-01T17:24:00.000-05:00

I bought 11 different types of oatmeal the other day. I don't like oatmeal, but I desperately want to. Oatmeal seems like the perfect winter breakfast. I thought, perhaps I can find a flavor of oatmeal I like. Yesterday's attempt (brown sugar) was really bad. Today's (strawberry) was even worse. The problem with this (obviously well thought out) strategy is what I don't like about oatmeal isn't the flavor, it's the texture. Though technically, the texture today was one solid rock. Yes, I have descended to the point where I cannot even cook oatmeal properly.

Jon Stewart:
And as long as it's not Watergate... [I think in this story is a lot of good news for the administration.] Hurray for the indictment! This is great news for the President. Whee! What an opportunity for President Bush! Not he gets to re-restore integrity to the White House!

2005-10-30T20:44:00.000-05:00

Ahh, Halloween. It's the most wonderful time of the year. Wait, that's Christmas. But Halloween is really the start of the Christmas season, is it not? I mean, right next to the Halloween decorations at Target are the Christmas decorations. It's getting out of control - the holiday season now starts in October. Americans are desperate for anything that takes them away from the everyday mundeneness of their lives, aren't they? And I get to see all the little kids trick or treating tomorrow. I do so love that. Especially the little kids. At first I thought that kids trick or treat at older ages than my friends and I did (it got not cool at some point), then I realized that no, the 12 year olds just LOOK like they are 18 nowdays. (We had this conversation in terms of first kisses, and how we were all teenagers of various ages, but kids are much younger than that nowdays. I can just see kids in Pampers...)

And speaking of of things getting uncool, why is it that we have all these things we like when we are young. Cartoons, toys, all sorts of things. We hit junior high, 6th grade, all of sudden those things are dorky. No longer do we like the things that we once did (though we probably secretly still do). This continues through high school. Oh, the things that are uncool. We go to college, and all those things are cool once again. It's cool to like what we liked in our childhood. Am I the only one who has noticed that? Maybe it's me? And the thing is, I don't think that the answer is we are trying to fit in or something. I really don't. I really think that at some point, we DO stop liking those things. But I think it's more than we are desperate to be an adult, we want to be grown up, and we somehow think that grown ups don't like cartoons or childhood things, so we don't either.

But I digress. That's not what I wanted to say about Halloween (before I got on my tangent). I love people watching. Maybe it's because I'm the sort who always feels removed from whatever situation is going on around me, but people watching is normally one of my favorite activites. And West 6th was great people watching last night. As good as people watching is in general, people watching on Halloween is the greatest thing in the world. Except for a nice MLT... mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich where the mutton is nice and lean, and the tomato is ripe....they're so perky. I love that. (Name that movie quote. And FYI, the book is much better.) Anyway, seeing everyone dressed up was awesome. People really feel like they are hidden when they are in costume, doing things that they would not otherwise do. And watching that, it was pure fantastic.

Though I didn't realize that the bars would be open to 3 am. Which means that I didn't get home until 5 am. Now I used to live in NYC. The bars were open until 4 am there. And I went out. Often. So every night, I wouldn't get home until 5 am. And not just on the weekends, I could do that during the week and still get to work the next day. But now, on a weekend, I totally can't. I was wiped by the end. Exhausted. And I slept about over 5 hours, and I'm still exhausted. I prefer the days when 3 hours was more than sufficient. Is this what happend when you get old? Does that mean that when 40 approaches, I'll need 10 hours to be ok. I'll be 50 and be doing nothing but sleeping??

The Browns. Are you f-ing kidding me? That's enough commentary. Oh, but how big of a dork am I? I'm sure most people know that I'm a huge dork. But I had to work today. I didn't want to miss the Browns game. So I TiVo'd it. Yes, I'm pathetic. After I saw that they lost, I wanted to delete it, but . Actually, not true, I watched until there was about 50 second left (when they missed on 4th and 17). I guess maybe I thought the game would turn out differently if I watched it??

Ok, yes, I'm pathetic, but I'm tired and going to bed. Judge away.

2005-10-27T22:16:00.000-05:00

It's a testament to how much I love soccer that I showed up for my 6.30 game tonight. It was raining at my house, it was cold. I wasn't feeling it. Still, I forced myself to go. And I'd point out that two guys wussed out, probably because it was too cold. Because of that, we played with 7 players (the difference between this week and last week is that we started out with 7 as opposed to 6. Then 2 players didn't get ejected this week so we didn't have 4 on 8 by the time the ref called the game, which is what happened to us last week).

Now, I've been totally up front about that fact that I am the biggest wuss ever when it comes to the cold. So I was wearing lots of layers. As in five layers of shirts. FIVE. Though I took off two layers (a long sleeve t and a sweatshirt). I was wearing a hat and gloves (leather gloves; next week I'll take better soccer gloves with me. Though any gloves make throwing the ball in hard.)

Yet it's even more a testament to how much I love the game that when I was asked to play in the 7,30 game, I did. (That team only had 4 people show up, so they got 2 from my team, and 2 from the team I played against to play with them. I suspect that the other team was not pleased that we stayed. Instead of winning by forfeit, they ended up losing. And it wasn't even close. I think the final score was 6-1. And the only reason they scored their one was because my brother kicked the ball and it nailed me in the stomach, knocking the wind out of me. He just saw me go down and wasn't sure what happened to me (he later said b/c of how I grabbed my side, it looked like I was protecting my hand and he was afraid he broke it.) Anyway, my brother immediately walked over to me, so there was no one guarding the goal. (My damn brother knows better to walk over to a player, even a hurt player, when the play is still going on!) My brother had 3 goals to make up for that stupidity. (For the record, he had only one goal for our team. But our team won 6-0 too. Actually, I usuall play defense, but I played offense today, so I scored too. It was quite different, putting the ball IN the net rather than trying to keep it out of the net.)

Oh, and I agreed to play on a second team b/c they are down players, any week except when we play them. What can I say. I'm a glutton for punishment. And by the way, two straight games on my foot (no subs either game) is really hard on my foot. Part of me wonders how it can still be broken, what, a month later? Maybe 5 weeks later. Then another part of me thinks that maybe if I didn't keep playing on it, it would be easier to heal. It's in a lot of pain right now. And I shudder to think how much pain I'd be in if I wasnt taking pills before the games for the pain.

For those who care (and that might not be any of you, b/c I may not have mentioned it) , my speech today went ok. I was beyond nervous, extremely flustered, and I'm sure that you could tell it by my presentation, but it's over and I guess that's all that really matters.

2005-10-24T23:02:00.000-05:00

Goodbye, Rosa Parks.

2005-10-24T16:55:00.000-05:00

So I finally relented and turned the heat on this weekend. I had been resisting, because once you turn the heat on, you have accepted that summer is over. That it's not getting warm again for a VERY LONG TIME. It's a bitter, bitter pill to swallow. And I have to confess, it hurts, it really does. But when the highs aren't even going to hit 50, and the lows are in the 30s, I couldn't see an alternative. I put the storm windows down, turned the heat on, and wistfully tried to recall the good old days of summer.

Even worse, it's been grey for about two weeks as well. And so it begins. I really do like living in Cleveland, but this is the stuff that makes me antsy. When I look out my office window, and can't tell the difference between the grey sky and the grey lake, it's depressing.

I had a party on Saturday night. Biggest achievement - getting (and keepting) the campfire going in spite of the rain. What can I say, I'm easily satisfied in life. I even (upon pouting protest) agreed to let my friends play with some of my Sparklers stash (I knew I should have put them away). My one friend said that he hadn't played with Sparklers since he was 3. Clearly, he needs to find his inner child. And there is way too much beer left in my fridge. Anyone have a solutution for that? :) Seriously though, I think that if you bring beer to a party (and this was BYOB) that you should have to take it with you when you leave. And my house still isn't really unpacked, though bless their hearts, no one commented on the stuff just lying on the floor everywhere.

And I went to Giovanni's in Beachwood last week. Super expensive, but super good. We got the salad, meal and dessert. It was, simply put, heavenly. Nothing I can afford in a regular basis, but was fantastic. So I recommend that everyone save your pennies (ok, it will take a lot more than pennies saved) and go. My friends who were with me have essentially asked that I mention them and call them Veronica, Weevil, and Logan. Though I have to say that the person who is assigned "Logan" has little in common with the actual Logan.

So yesterday was a bad day. Other than watching the Browns just basically suck for several hours (and yes, I watched the entire thing. What the hell is WRONG with me??) (Don't answer that...) I was laying on the couch with my laptop, composing an email, and proceeded to spill and entire glass on me and tmy laptop. Now, I can't get the laptop to turn on. I thinkI ruined it. It's rather new, and I haven't enen paid it off yet. Does liquid ever evaporate from the laptop? I doubt it.

And help me!! Does anyone have any Halloween costume ideas? There are parties that are dress-up required. I thought about going as Stephanie, but I always do that all the time. So please, help me. I beseech thee...

I played football this weekend in the mud. Actually, two games; I subbed for a friend's team b/c they didn't have enough girls. (So in other words, I got to learn what it was like to win a football game...) :) My team played at 3; we lost by a touchdown. So in other words, we did great. The fields were a muddy mess (go figure), the ball was impossible to throw, and difficult to catch. I think the guys like that better, there was a lot of unnecessary sliding in the mud to get dirty. What is up with that. Totally unnecessary to leave one's feet...and yet they did. Every time. Without fail. Silly boys... Though I did once feel the need to jump right into a large, muddy puddle. It was there, beckoning me. What else was I to do??

Ahh, yes, Cleveland in the national news. Ok, sure, it was necessary. You know what? I still label her the worst, most evil mother. Well, maybe not 'most evil' as the kids are still alive. But you aren't going to convince me that this was an ok thing to do.

Interesting. Though USC is still No. 1 in the coaches' poll.

Harriet Miers. I still can't say that without laughing. It makes me laugh that Republicans are just as against her - if not more so - than Democrats. Though I hope the reason that many Democrats are being silent is b/c the Republicans are attacking her, and not because they think that she is qualified for the position. I'm not sure if Schumer is correct that she lacks the votes, but it really wouldn't surprise me. So the question - does Bush withdraw her name? I wonder about that. He doesn't like his decisions to be questioned. Though what did he call this? Background chatter? I guess that's all dissent or discussion or criticism is to him. Nothing of consequence.

Maybe Bush does not understand sacrifice. After all, earlier this year, he revealed he did not share the common meaning of "ultimate sacrifice" with most of his countrymen, who reserve that term for Americans who have given their lives in military service, when he spoke of the drawbacks of political life: "It's the ultimate sacrifice, really: sacrifice your privacy. It's sacrifice of time with your kids."

From here.

I just get angry whenever I read or listen to Bush.

Why hasn't Sarah updated her blog? She is worse than me...

2005-10-18T22:54:00.000-05:00

I apologize. I'm the people that you hate. I pulled out Christmas music today and listened to it. Yes, it's October. I understand this. But I do so love TransSiberian Orchestra. (I'm going to see them twice this Christmas season. And what happened was totally not my fault. They came on my iPod and it made me want to listen to the entire album. Then the entire second album. And the third album. And yes, I realize that on the one hand, it's October. But on the other hand, it's freaking cold enough outside to be Christmast time. (Ok, not sure in what fantasy world it's in the 60 in Cleveland at Christams.)

Jon Stewart to Bill O'Reilley:
"I will say this. We add insult to injury. You, however, add injury."
"If this were Peanuts, France is Marcy. Go after Lucy. She's the problem."

After doing well with baseball (choosing the Angels, White Sox, Astros, and Cardinals) it appears that I jumped the shark. I had picked the Cardinals over the Angels in the World Series. Well, the Angels aren't there, and it appears that the Cardinals won't be either. Alas. I don't really care, I was just predicting. I really have no opinion on it one way or the other. In fact, of the four teams, perhaps I'd want to see the Angels win the least (it's been recently.) You can go for a team that hasn't won since forever, and isn't even really respected in it's own city (not that I blame Chicago, the Cubs are loveable). Or Houston, a team that has never won. Or St. Louis, which always has great sports fans. Anyway, I don't care, but I hate being wrong.

2005-10-16T17:03:00.000-05:00

The dog sitting experience is over. My friend went out of town to go to a wedding, and dropped his dog off Friday afternoon. I had stopped at my house before I went out, it was about 6.30, so he had been home for about 5.5 hours, and I get there, and he's shit in the cage. Ugh. I didn't get much sleep this weekend dogsitting either. On Friday night, I got home around 1.30, walked the dog, and went to bed. My friend explained that he let his dog sleep in his room, not in his cage. So I tried that. Around 3.30 (after not being asleep) I finally decided that I could not have a dog, who insisted on sleeping in my bed, or walking around, making noise, getting into things, and have sleep. So I went and put him in his cage. 20 minutes of him howling (and I mean howling, I went and took him out again and put him in the office. I figured there were less things for him to get into there. Four hours later, I got up and went into the bedroom. In 4 hours, he nad opened the closet and taken out three bags and chewed them up, "read" two books (and by "read" I mean ate) and then shit all over the floor. He SHIT on my floor. Give me a greak. He had just been out 4 hours earlier. Was that really necessary?? So yeah, I had an entire 4 hours of restless sleep Friday night. Then Saturday night...well, let's not talk about Saturday night. It was pretty bad. What does it mean when my friends were excited to see me wasted b/c, "we've never seen you like this, you never let go and lose control." Great...Glad to amuse you all...

Speaking of Friday, I had plans to meet some friends for happy hour in Garfield Heights. Then a second bar in Garfield Heights. And a third bar in Garfield Heights. I haven't really been to Garfield Heights that often, so that was an experience for me. At the third bar, you could barely see the end of the bar it was so smokey. And my friend said that it was better there than most bars in the area. I miss bars in NY where you can't smoke in them. That was heaven.

Also, I am convinced that my friend has no male friends. Friday night it was one guy and five girls. (I also think that we worried him. He took a girl that he has gone out with a few times to a wedding on Sweetest Day. My friends told him that if he takes a girl to a wedding, she's wondering when hers is, and that it was a huge step and it signified something serious with the relationship. (I didn't necessarily agree, but it was somewhat intriguing seeing him somewhat panicked and saying, "What was I thinking? I wasn't thinking." Besides, what the hell do I know about relationships. Maybe it does signify some major step.)

So today was mostly recovering. Dogless from about 2 or so. Lying on my couch. Watching television (boy, did the Browns look bad!), candles lit. There really is no better way to spend a Sunday. I'm supposed to be mowing my lawn, cleaning my house before my party next week, doing laundry, cooking...and yet, I just want to be lazy. I know, I know, I'm awful.

Oh, football yesterday. We lost, as usual, 8-12, but here's my thing. I got to throw the ball twice total. One of those was our lone touchdown. Last week (the game I missed, the QB missed, and the backup QB missed), the lone touchdown was by a girl (she isn't on our team, but was a sub.) The week before, we had 3 touchdowns - that week, all three of the QB threw for one of them. Now, if the girls are throwing the ball only a few times a game, and yet they are scoring more than the guys (3 of 5 TDs)...why aren't the girls the regular QB? These are the things that I wonder...

2005-10-13T15:18:00.000-05:00

I discovered this Sudoku puzzle in USA Today last week (which I got while in San Fran) and I'm totally addicted. Surprisingly, I'm even really good at it. I say "surprisingly" because it involves: (1) numbers; and (2) logic, neither of which we can really say are Stephanie's strong points. So what's the appeal? I have no idea. But I'm addicted.

My football team is playing a pretty bad team this week, so we might have a shot to win a game. So...anyone here in town a ringers and want to show up and play?

For work, we are making a video type training thing. So I have lines to learn. My role is essentially a sexual harasser. Though I prefer the title "flirt." So I just wonder, is it bad that the role comes naturally to me?

My soccer team lost in the playoffs last night. Crushing, really. Our defense was completely awsome last night (and I'm not saying that just because my little brother plays essentially sweeper) but our offense could not put the ball in the net at all. So the score at the end of the game was 0-0 (especially crushing because their defense wasn't super strong - their strength were in their crisp passes - and we were winning most of the balls in the air.) So basically, it came down to a shoot out. That's a hell of a way to end the season. Because you just played your guts out for an entire game, to go down like that, open shots on the goal, one and one. It sucks.

There are two parties Saturday night that I want to attend. One this Friday, one night Friday, two the Friday after that, two the Saturday after that. T'is the season for parties, I guess. Though that meant that the only night left for me to have a party was Saturday the 22nd. Oh, well.

2005-10-11T08:56:00.000-05:00

This is so cool. That is like the ULTIMATE wedding present!!

2005-10-09T21:18:00.000-05:00

I think I'm doomed to be a Midwest girl. When I lived in New York City, I was out of place. New York City is full of world weary, hardened people. You can't look them in the eye - if you were to do so, they would instinctively move away from you. I care too much, my eyes reflect that. But I was out of place in San Francisco as well. They are laid back. I have too much nervous energy. Too much intensity. Perhaps I'm homeless? Out of place everywhere?

So San Francisco. I was finally getting over being sick. Yet spend 5+ hours on a plane twice in a five day period - yeah, I'm sick again. Actually, the time change confused me. I was hungry at 1. And I had eaten breakfast, and I couldn't figure out why. Finally, it occurred to me that it was 4 back East. Yes, I'm just that slow.

I didn't bother packing Tuesday night, so I was doing so at 6 am. Not too mich I can think at am. Which means that I got on the airplane, realizing that I've forgotten: (1) a brush/comb; (2) my watch; and (3) my jewelry. This creates several problems for me. Mainly the fact that I just don't feel complete without my jewelry. You know those dreams where you are walking around naked and everyone is staring at you? Well, ok, no one is staring b/c it's just jewelry, but I feel just as naked. Vulnerable. So I bought a cheap watch (I already have three of them), and picked up a bracelet and two rings. By the end of my trip, I had bought four bracelets and five rings (I wear four at a time - on my two pinkies and my two middle fingers. I found the fifth one and switched it for one that I already bought). One of the bracelets is a mood bracelet - like those cheap rings I wore when I was child - and I'm captivated by the way that it changes color. No, I don't think that it tells me mood - I realize that it's my body temperature - but that doesn't change the fact that I watch it change from black to red, blues, greens and even purples. The red will sometime have a swash of yellor around it. It's fantastic. However, it's not my favorite. The one I bought has become my new favorite bracelet I own. Just under an inch wide, silver (always silver, I hate gold colored jewelry) with words carven into it. Soul... Spirit... Search... Faith... Harmony... Hope... Balance... Inspire... Trust... Dream... Endure... Love... Peace... I have no idea why it's my favorite bracelet, but I love it.

It was a busy week in San Fran. First, the Blue Angels were there. So lots of men in uniform walking around town. It wasn't that long ago that they were here in Cleveland. I feel like I'm stalking them or something. Then, it was Fleet Week (I'm not sure if they are connected or not.) Basically, even more guys in uniform walking around. Unlike Cleveland, where only about half of them were in uniform, here, all were in uniform. I finally learned (or they claimed) that it was mandated. Lots of foreigners. One evening I dined with (and discussed politics with) a New Zealander, who had a charming accent. He was most enjoyable. Another evening I met a nice French girl who was studying here, and she "loved" everything. Though the men in uniform, Ifelt like I was translating everything. Her English wasn't that bad - they were just that drunk. I felt for her through - she's been here a month, and when I asked her why she was alone, she said that she didn't know anyone here. She is going to school, taking classes, shouldn't she have friends?

Finally, there was some PGA tour in San Fran, and evidently all 70 of the golfers were at my hotel. My first night there, I saw Tiger Woods in the lobby. Hotel bar. I was sitting at the table next to him. I said hi. He looked at me like I was bothering him. Don't sit in the hotel lobby if you want to be all inconspicuous. Grr. Then, my last morning there (and I do mean morning, it was about 6.40 am) I'm waiting for the elevator. This guy is waiting with me. We get on the elevator together. He's trying to make small talk, which I make monotone answers to. Maybe they weren't even answers, maybe they are just grunts. I'm not sure. The elevator stops on the 17th floor, and another guy gets on. I don't really pay much attention to him. I'm still sleeping and beyond even caring to be polite and grunt back. But the guy already on the elevator clearly recognizes the new arrival. They start talking - the new one has an accent - about the number of events they have left for the year (one and six - the one with one planned it that way.) As we got off the elevator, the one says to the other "See you later Vijay." It then occurs to me that they are wearing golf pants. Obviously, the one with the accent that the guy on the elevator called "Vijay" was Vijay Singh. No idea who the other guy was though. Guess I should pay more attention at 6.40 am. (I also learned that there was some filming of some movie, and all the cast and crew were there. No idea what movie it was or who was in it. I didn't see anyone.)

Things I hate about fall/winter. Not only is it cold, but its dark out by 8 pm. ALREADY. I though that was bad. Yet in San Fran, it got dark even earlier. Ugh!! Though fall does have some positive traits, mainly the season of ripe apples and in season squash. Squash is my favoritest vegetable, so yes, this is very happy for me. What can I say?? I'm an easy sort of girl.

I somehow have the uncanny ability to manage to make enemies everywhere. Even in line for the airplane bathroom. Just by being me. This particular one: Red Sox fan. I was glad that Boston lost. Swept, in fact. And not just because they beat us for the wild card (or, rather, our team lost the wild card, a more accurate description of their play that last week). But because now that Boston has won, they are the same as the Yankees, they just aren't as good at it. And they don't see it. Before they won, you felt for them and their fans. Now, their payroll is second highest in baseball. They have more players from other teams (and fewer home grown, farm system players) than the Yankees. What made them different is now gone. And let's review. All 8 of the teams in the playoffs were in the top half of payroll. NYY (1), Red Sox (2), LA Angels (5), Cardinals (10), Astros (11), Braves (12), White Sox (13) and Padres (15). For the first time, no "small market" teams (i.e. the Twins or Athletics the last few years) made the playoffs. Ahh, yes, what this illustrated was what Bud Selig stated. The small market teams can't compete. If everything falls right for the small market teams, they can one year or the next, but at the end of the day, they cannot sustain that competitiveness. For the last 10 years, the Yankees have finished #1 in the East every year but one. Tampa Bay has finished last every year but one. I wonder what will happen at the end of '06 (when I believe the current labor contract is up.) The fact is, the fight won't be steroids (like it was last time) because the Union likely realizes that if they don't do something, Congress will. Which leaves the salary cap. The luxury tax hasn't worked. NHL just sat out for a year over this very issue. I expect that baseball is closely watching to see how NHLs fans react to the year off. Testing the market, so to speak. But I'm also sure that it hasn't excaped the Union that at the end of the day, the NHL ended up with a salary cap. I know, I know, baseball is different from all sports. Not subject to anti-trust laws. But at the same time, I dont think that's a challenge that they want to make, because a court case could make that exemption go away. At least now they have the argument.

2005-10-03T13:06:00.000-05:00

First, Desperate Housewives. Why is it that on the show, everyone's secrets that they don't share with their neighbors are huge. Like, "I've killed someone." "I've kidnapped someone." "I am keeping someone in chains in my basement." Why aren't they secrets like, "I eat the applesauce right out of the jar and don't put it in a bowl first." Those are my secrets that I don't share with the neighbors...

I am off to San Fran this week. I've never been to San Fran. I'm somewhat irritated b/c I have a seminar Weds-Fri, but it was WAY cheaper not to fly back until Sunday, so I'm not. I'm going to be alone. Without a car. I am not sure if I am pleased about this at all. Actually, I had called my one friend from law school who lives in California, but as we aren't friends anymore, he obviously did not want to see me. Alas, I can't say that I blame him. My friends asked if he called back (I was with them when I called. Mental note: Never call anyone who you haven't spoken to in 5+ years when you are with your friends.) and I said no. They are extremely loyal friends and immediately started dissing him, but I defended him, saying if the situation were reversed, I'm not sure if I'd call back.

I have a costume Halloween party coming up. Any ideas for costumes? The one night stand made me laugh. Or the evil queen.

I dislike my new cell phone. But I do love text messaging. It's my new drunken dialing... Dangerous, I know.

The Indians. I can't go there. Ask later.

The Supreme Court and Harriet Miers. A woman at least. Of course, a white woman with no experience as a Judge, another Bush cronie (oh, I'm sorry, outspoken supporter of the Bush Administration, which are in short supply nowdays). How is one "exceptionally well suited" to be a justice if they've never been a judge? I mean, it's been done before, but is it ideal? Probably not.

2005-09-29T13:17:00.000-05:00

You realize, of course, that now I'm in a position where I have to root for the Yankees?? You realize the inner conflict this puts me in?? You realize the self loathing I feel right now?? The YANKEES!?!

2005-09-28T22:39:00.000-05:00

Why do the Indians hate me? Just a general question. Oh, there are Mrs. Sizemore shirts now. Grady is adorable, but he's like 22. Isn't that kind of creepy??

Why did Chewbacca throw out the first pitch at Fenway? I love Star Wars as much as the next girl, but come on...

DeLay? What is there to say? So let's assume he's convicted. Is there any chance that Bush won't pardon him?? Give me a break.

So Veronica Mars started without letting me know who knocked at her door at the end of last season. Don't worry, they got to it, but I was really upset for a moment. I'm surprised that it was who it was who knocked on her door (I won't spoil it, just in case.) Not who I guessed. Logan appears to be as much of an asshole as ever. I adore him. I adore him. There is something wong with me. Alas...

I'm paying attention to the intelligent design case in Pa. Of course, what the district court and what the Third Circuit does is irrelevant. What matters is a few years when the case gets to the SCOTUS.

2005-09-27T18:53:00.000-05:00

Numbers for Indians fans this week

6 - Guaranteed to win the division
5 - Guaranteed to win the wild card
4 - Guaranteed to at least tie for the wild card, meaning at worst, there is a playoff game on Monday.

Of course, they may also be the number of times that Stephanie will throw up this week. It's hard to say.

2005-09-25T14:46:00.000-05:00

I hate it when my Indians game and my Browns games overlap. What am I to do? Luckily, God invented TiVo for such occasions. And, of course, one of my teams is awful and the other of my teams is good. (Though losing by a touchdown for most of the game to the Colts isn't *that* bad.)

I think I broke my foot at football yesterday. I'm not sure. It's swollen bad, but it's not black and blue too bad. It's the top of my foot. I still can't put any weight on it. I'm not happy about this current turn of events in my life, in case you were curious. And it makes it so that I can't mow my lawn b/c I can't walk! I'm not kidding. I mean, I don't LIKE mowing the lawn anyway, but still, I *had* to today, and can't.

And my strep hasn't gone away yet. It to the point where it not only hurts when I swallow, but when I sit here, when I talk, and when I breathe. I guess I'm going to have to give up the power of positive thinking approach that I've gone with for the last two weeks and go to the doctor Monday.

So yeah, I'm falling apart. Is this what happens when one is 29??

And how is Victor Martinez's batting average so high. He hit .207 in April and .213 in May. He was still under .250 at the all star break. And now he's above .300? That is unheard of. I mean, he spent the entire second half of the season well above .350. Not that I'm complaining.

So I bought Indians playoof tickets to game 1 and game 2, totally not thinking about the fact that I'd be in SAN FRAN at the time!! Which sucks b/c I've *never* been in Cleveland during the Indians playoff runs. I always was away at school or working out of state. So that depresses me. I'm sure that I can sell the tickets and not lose the money (they are already sold out), but that's not the point. Can I cancel my trip to San Fran?? Doubtful - I spent $700 on a plane ticket, $1000 on hotel reservations...oh, yeah, and $1200 on the seminar conference. Sigh.

2005-09-22T14:50:00.000-05:00

I don't like change. So when the Convo Center became the Wolstein Center, I gritted my teeth and didn't say anything, even though I was most displeased. But when Gund Arena becomes Quicken Loans Arena (or "The Q") I cannot stay silent anymore. I'm sorry, it sounds silly to say, "I'm going to the Q."

And just so I'm not mistaken, when you are interviewing for one job, and the person you are interviewing with tells you that you should - and want to - work in a completely different career ... that's not a good sign, right??

This past weekend, we were talking about Gillette's new razor that has the 5 blades, with a 6th blade on the back? SIX blades total. AND it vibrates. Can anyone else say lawn mower??

And how about my Indians?? Though I've been saying that I'd give my first born if the Yankees don't make the playoffs. We were keeping them out - until Boston decided that they wanted the Yankees to get to the playoffs. Idiots.

2005-09-20T13:04:00.000-05:00

A few events around Cleveland this week:

Thursday, Sept. 22
1st Annual Party With A Purpose at Blind Pig
All proceeds to go to the Jeff Boskovitch Foundation
$21 at the door (in honor of the 21 lives lost)
Unlimited Miller Lite Draft & Well Drinks
6pm 'til 10 pm
$3 Jack Daniels Drinks

Saturday Sept. 24
End of Season Party at The Clevelander
8om til closing time
$10.00 for food & beer (Bud/Bud Light)
Cash bar
Fun times include a flip cup AND a beer pong table. The bean bag game may also be out. ANd most importantly, rumor has it that Grady Sizemore will be there...

See everyone there.

2005-09-19T16:53:00.000-05:00

So I already said how I broke my cell Thursday night. And the Sprint store closed at 9 pm Thursday, and opened against at 10 am Friday, which didn’t work for me. So I went to Cape Cod with my cell phone broke. (Luckily for me, I have two cell phones; my work phone is with Verizon.) And so I was ok with that, but as I loaded my suitcase into the car Friday morning, THAT broke. Have you ever had one of those days where you were obviously just supposed to stay in bed. Ah, yes, welcome to my Friday.

Then, my flight to Boston was supposed to leave at 3.15. I was supposed to land about 4.30. I landed at 8. Why? Well, first it was delayed. Then they put us on the plane, and we sat on the runway forever. Then we went to Boston and the weather wouldn’t let us land, so we circled around Boston for a while. Ugh! This meant that I got my rental car and started the drive to Cape Cod in the dark. Just what I wanted to do. Yeah, like I'm not geographically challenged in the light...

The wedding was beautiful. While Ophelia hit Cape Cod Friday night (only thunderstorms, nothing major), it cleared up Saturday. Well, it was cloudy, but it wasn’t raining during the outdoor ceremony. On the beach. So that was great. And I guess that overcast is actually better for photographs.

However, our sorority sister married a fraternity boy. Our special sorority song was American Pie. Unfortunately, that appeared to have been their special fraternity song too. We (as in the sorority sisters) were dancing when they pulled the bride away from us. Umm…no. We stole her right back. She may be your wife, but she is OUR sister, and nothing comes between us and American Pie (did you ever notice how freaking long that song is? I think in college I was always drunk, b/c it seemed much faster way back then.)

Then when I landed today, my brother picked me up from the airport. My grandparents drove me to the airport, so that is where my car was. So my brother took me to their house. I only took a half day off today, so I had to run and not visit. But not before I was give 11 (yes, 11) tomotoes, 1 cucumber, and some leftover strew. Because, you know, there isn't food in Boston, and I was starving since I last left them on Friday. If you are Greek, you would understand that logic. I do have to say though, I did have the stew for lunch, and it was actually really good. I should get that recipe. (Sorry, I had to take a moment at the thought of me cooking...)

Evidently, my football team did but much without me than with me. Well, not much better I guess. We lost 38-0 when I played and we lost 34-0 without me. (Hey, I’m just the second string quarterback, which means I QB just on gender plays. I’m not responsible for the lack of offense!) The good news is that we are doing really well at the bar after the games.
And on a side note, I got back this afternoon. It was really hard to get Cleveland sports on the Cape. They have this unnatural obsession with Boston sports. The Red Sox. The Patriots. Geesh. What is a Cleveland sports junkie supposed to do??

2005-09-15T21:18:00.000-05:00

I just broke my cell phone! Why this is bad - the Sprint store doesn't open until 10 am. But I have to be at work at 10 am because I am interviewing a summer associate candidate. THEN I have to get on a plane and will be in Cape Cod until Monday. Which means - AT BEST - I am without cell until Monday night.

I feel so naked!!

(Remember the days before we all had cell phones attached to us? I vaguely do. But I'm still unhappy with my current situation in life. NO CELL PHONE?? This is NOT the weekend for that to occur.)

2005-09-15T09:46:00.000-05:00

“You cuddle, you call.”

My one friend came up with this basic hook up rule. Basically, the rule is (if it’s not apparent) that if you hook up with someone and you cuddle afterwards, then you have to call. If you do not cuddle, then it’s just sex and no one owes anyone a call.

Which is a brilliant rule – except if you don’t want someone to call despite the fact that there was cuddling. In which case, thank gosh that cell phones come with built in caller id...

And will some male please explain to me the purpose of the three day rule? I don't get it. What is the point?? If you are interested, am I supposed to think less if you call after 2 days? Or am I supposed to think more of you because you were predictible and called after exactly three days, right on schedule? Give me a break. Not to mention that by the time I gave you my number, there is a 50/50 chance that I forgot who you were. Good plan... I'm not saying become a stalker and call immediately, but the predicitbility of the three day rule is silly.

2005-09-14T12:19:00.000-05:00

1. Have you ever finished off the popcorn and ate the junk from the bottom of the bag?
No.

2. Have you ever had sex in a tent?
No. But I do love camping.

3. Have you ever had a secret crush on a teacher?
Yes. One in high school was nicknamed Yoda (not by me - but for the same reasons). He was my AP English teacher and NOT attractive at all. In fact, picture Buddha. That may have started the attraction to genius despite appearances. The other was a slight crush in college.

4. Do you own more than 100 cd’s?
Probably closer to adding another 0. Maybe I already do, I have no idea.

5. Have you ever been so drunk that you have passed out?
I have been so drunk that I thought I passed out but evidentally I was still up and about. Does that count?

6. Have you ever dated a goth?
As I *was* a skater/goth in high school, and all my friends were, I likely didn't date anyone who wasn't a goth until I was in my 20s.

7. Have you ever regretted a date?"Regret" is a strong word. There have been painful dates that I'd rather not have been on. And there was the one that used me as a punching bag. But probably not.

8. Have you ever seen a ghost/ufo?
I think.

9. Have you ever done anything you could be arrested for?
Yes. And that's all you get to know...

10. Have you ever done anything you could go to jail for?
You mean if I had been caught?

11. Have you ever broken a bone?
Yes. My ankle in college. Twisted it on steps. I think my pinky one day, but never went to college. What are they going to do anyway, put it on a popsicle stick? My rib from soccer inthe spring doesn't count because it's just "cracked." The worst injury I have are my knees - I have no cartilidge left in either one. Ligament damage in my right. And something about them being off center? The left was 11 degrees and the right was 13 degrees off center, I seem to recall. That was when I was 16 - I'm not sure if they are worse now or not.

12. Have you ever crashed a car?
Yes.

13. Have you ever fallen off a bike?
Yes.

14. Have you ever refused a date because of what your friends might think?
Not really. My friends already think that I have awful taste in guys (not that I necessarily blame them) so I think I'd be confused if they did approve of a guy I dated.

15. Have you ever listened to a song and cried?
Yes.

16. Have you ever seen your favorite band/singer perform live?
REM? No, never... At least not in 5 of the 7 continents.

17. Have you ever been found sleep walking?
No.

18. Have you ever been close to drowning?
Yes, when I was a young child, maybe 6 or so, I was in my aunt and uncles pool walking along, and I must have hit where the pool goes from shallow to deep b/c all of sudden it was over my head. I remember my Uncle Jack, who I was partly scared of b/c he had all these tattoos on his arms, pulling me up.

19. Have you ever watched a Tomb Raider movie without being aroused at some point?
I don't think that I've ever seen all of Tomb Raider. But I don't like Angelina Jolie.

20. Have you ever dated someone a decade older than you?
An entire decade? No.

21. Would you date someone a decade older than you?
Probably not. Then again, 8 1/2 isn't that far off.

22. Have you ever sent a crank call or email?
Can anyone seriously answer the first one "no?" What type of childhood did they have then? I've never done crank email though.

23. Have you ever been pregnant or got someone pregnant?
I've never been pregnant. And unless some guy got pregnant and had my child and never told me, I've never gotten someone pregnant.

24. If not, would you like children?
Ultimately one day, when I'm done being selfish in wanting to do whatever I want whenever I want with my time and money.

25. Have you ever tried to write a book?
Not seriously.

26. Would you like to write a book?
Sure, why not. I'd like to do lots of things.

27. Have you ever had major surgery?
Only breast reduction. Not really major, but I was knocked out. The big surgery will be the knee replacement surgery (on both knees) I was told I needed 13 years ago. Living on borrowed time...

28. Are you afraid of the dentist?
Yes.

29. Do you have a tattoo?
No.

30. Have you had any piercings done (not including the ears)?
Yes. Tongue. You all knew that though.

31. Have you ever been shit on from the sky?
No. That's gross though.

32. Do you like scary movies?
I love them. Good ones, bad ones, I'm such a baby, I love to be scared.

33. Do you like your job?
Most days.

34. Do you get along with your parents?
For the most part. Though my mom hasn't talked to me since mid August.

35. Do you still have all your grand parents?
Both of my maternal grandparents are alive. My paternal grandfather I never met. My paternal grandmother died with I was a senior in high school.

36. Have you ever had a date with someone you met online?
No.

37. Do you wish you could relive your childhood?
Yeah, a lot.

38. Have you ever beat up your computer?
Huh? No.

39. Have you ever watched The Goonies more than twice in a day?
No. Even though I had a huge crush on Corey Feldman.

40. Have you ever wondered why you fill this shit in time after time?
I don't have to think.

2005-09-13T09:36:00.000-05:00

Boo hiss.

I *like* the Browns uniforms. Especially the brown ones. The simplicity.

2005-09-12T10:33:00.000-05:00

I partied so much this weekend that I gave myself strep. I wish that was some sort of new slang for a great time, but unfortunately, I literally gave myself strep. I am a positive strep carrier, and it comes at will. Evidentally, too much partying is "at will." Damn...

It was a weekend of crushing defeats. My football team. Ohio State (party at the Dive Bar was awesome though, until the last 3 minutes or so of the game.) The Browns (expected. That game was watched via recovery on my couch...) In fact, Sunday was total recovery day, until a bad influence called me and said, "get your drunk, hung over, lazy ass off your couch and get over here. My friend is coming over with his friends, and we are all going to the Indians game tonight. $5 tickets." Sigh. Twist my arm...

Actually, let's talk about my football team for a moment. We didn't even have enough guys show, I had to bring some guys from the bar. Excellent. The other team actually started doing leapfrogs and stuff like that on the line ups. Uncalled for.

Ahh, yes, but there were a few good things. The Indians series, sweeping the Twins. and essentially knocking the Twins out of the playoff wild card hunt. See ya next year, guys... (Though we will - the Central has a lot of good, young teams. I can see Minnestoa, Cleveland, and Detroit making it a very good division.) So now we have 3 with Oakland. Frightening. And we have won 7 in a row - we are prime for a slight losing streak. Maybe. (I think Clevelanders are perpetually ready for the bottom to fall out. So we are all ready for them to knock themself out of playoff contention. Hey, we Clevelanders are tough. We know how the world works...)

And it's an Indian summer baby! Of course, I mean the temperature (it's on the 80s the next few days - yay!) but it's also an Indians summer. Hey, Cleveland, in case you didn't notice, your Indians are in a playoff race. Actually, they are leading it right now. Why aren't you showing up at the games? We have the third lowest attendance in baseball. Embarrassing. They are putting a playoff calliber team on the field. Not the best in anything (well, our bullpen) but a team with no huge holes. There is a reason that Sportscenter is so high on Cleveland right now...

My friend came up with the best new word ever: Whorestorical. Though my other friend then came up with whoretastical, which is also awesome. Both are the types of descriptive words that we enjoy. Or maybe we just enjoy saying the word whore??

Finally, my horoscope today:
Usually, you and your conscience are pretty well acquainted, but there might be something deeply buried in your psyche that you've been trying to work around for a little too long. Drag it out into the light, and you'll feel so much better.
I am taking this as a sign to email an old "friend" (I use friend in quotations b/c we really aren't anymore - HUGE falling out which I take blame for), as I will be in the area soon. (Plus, I asked the Magic 8 ball if I should and it said that the outlook was good.) How that one will end - well, sometimes we all walk into a fire knowing we'll get burned, right? I'll tell you about it someday.

2005-09-10T10:06:00.000-05:00

Football and beer! That will about sum up today! After getting home at 4 am last night, I am up, checked my email to see if I would have enough players on my team, and am about to head to the Treehouse to sit in the sun. (My friends play at 11, so the timing will be perfect.) After drinking for about 2 hours, I have to head to the football field, where I will be playing. Hioefully, I will have enough players - I'm not sure! Then, back to the Treehouse to drink some more in the sun. After a few hours of that, I have to go home and shower, then head to the Dive bar to watch the OSU/Texas game. (Party starts at 6...) :) Football and beer, beer and football. How else does one spend Saturdays?

So my friend made the poor decision to call at 2 am to find out where we were and what we were doing. Suddenly, he becomes the person who is driving us to eat hot dogs. (I don't even like hot dogs, but wherever we were, the hot dogs were the best things I've ever eaten in my life.) Poor guy - he won't make that mistake again. Then again, we go into this "restaurant (I use that term looksely - it was like a broom closet with a table that served food) and he gets to say, "I'm with my harem of women." Nice...

PS Boston, you all are idiots...Remember our deal? You take care of that end, we'll take care of this end?? You are only 4 us. When you have 6 games against the Yankees, do you really want to be losing them? You can still lose that division Boston. How can I give my firstborn for the Yankees not to make the playoffs if you don't want to win the division? I expect better from you next time - which is in a few hours today.

2005-09-08T23:48:00.000-05:00

Not that I want to jinx it, but the Indians are in sole possession of the wild card lead after yesterday's game. (Running and knocking on wood. Or whatever that cardboardy wall thing is.) Meanwhile, the Yankees start a 3 game series against Boston. Dear Boston - consider purchasing a broom.

Do you remember how, when you were young, your mom would put your gold star papers on the fridge. Every time you went to get some grape koolaid, your awesomeness would stare at you? (No wonder kids don't have self esteem issues.) Anyway, last week I was working on a brief with another associate, we sent it to the partner, who liked it. Actually, she emailed back that it was one of the most persuasive, funniest briefs she had ever read. I wanted to print that email out and put it on my fridge at home, ala a gold star paper. I resisted not because I knew how pathetic that was, but because my fridge is full if liberal propoganda (mostly my bumper sticker magnets purchased from Northern Sun. Oh, and my Scooby Doo magnets.)

One of the guys on my softball team quit his job. I offered to pay him to clean my house. He thinks I was kidding. I wasn't. You know the last time that I've vacuumed? Or even better, mopped the floor? It's disgusting. Disgusting. I'd gladly play someone to do all that stuff for me. At least my laundry is done right now. (Oh, and the lawn mower is fixed and returned. Guess that means I gotta mow the lawn. Damn, and it was a built in excuse.)

Football starts Saturday. Not NFL football, which started last night. Not college football, which is already in effect. But Cleveland Plays football. Most excellent. Of course, the reason we play football? To go to the bars afterwards. In this case, The Treehouse. So if anyone is at the Treehouse, I'll buy you a pitcher. I'll be there with my team afterwards.

Oh, and 10 months until my 30th birthday... (The surprise party was 10 months from yesterday. Shh!)

2005-09-06T22:59:00.000-05:00

Just in case anyone was wondering what I did with Jody Gerut gone on the Indians, I decided that I would jump on the Grady Sizemore bandwagon. Granted. he's a child (1982! I'm not even kidding) but he can legally drink at least, right? And he's got adorable dimples. Granted, he's no Jody Gerut, who I haven't been able to stalk since his trade, but we make do with what we have to here in Cleveland.

Oh, and the home plate umpire ejected two Detroit fans during the Indians game tonight. FANS. That is awesome. And, despite dropping 2 of 3 to the Twins this past weekend (insert swearing here), the Indians are only a game behind in the wild card race. Here's my thing. Please don't do this to me Tribe. You know, I've had my heart broken more times than I can count. Never by a guy, granted, but by my sports teams. Red Right '88 (I only vaguely remember that, actually.) The Drive. The Fumble. The Shot (Jordan over Ehlo). The Error (Not that Fernandez hurt the most, the hurt is just most recent.)

Ok, my point (yes, I have one). If you are going to do a typical "Cleveland failing" please just do me a favor and get it over with now. Don't drag it out all month only to f*ck up at the end of the season. I can't stand the getting my hopes up, when I KNOW what the outcome will be. And the thing is, I tell myself that, but there is some disconnect between my mind and my heart, you know? (Yes, I'm still talking about my Indians, not my taste in guys...though it applies there as well.) So yeah, heartbreak is coming. I'm a Clevelander. It's as much a guarantee as lake effect snow in the winter, and orange barrels in the summer...And I just wish I'd get it over with now, rather than dragging it out. Pull the bandaid offf quickly, you know? (Though I have to say that I have tickets to the September 30th game - how awesome would that be if the Indians were still hanging around the wild card. Last weekend series of the season.)

For the record, I'd still give my firstborn if the Yankees don't even make the playoffs... My currently pregnant girlfriend is appalled by that statement, but any self respecting Clevelander would. She's from Detroit, what does she know!

And I spend the weekend with some guys from Texas. Of course, *next* weekend is when Ohio State plays Texas so we were one week off. Then again, maybe the fact that they weren't playing the weekend when we were hanging out is the only reason we were able to hang out...Of course, let's be honest, when Ohio State wins, what are the odds that I'm not going to call them and be obnoxious? None. I'm me.

2005-09-05T11:39:00.000-05:00

Bush nominates Roberts as Chief Justice. This is interesting. And frightening. On the one hand, it's incredibly better than Scalia ... I think. And that's really the second hand. Roberts has little experience as a Judge, and it's difficult to tell where his dogma lies, truly. Will he be of the Scalia/Thomas elk? Or not? May he be a Souter? (A Republican, by the way.) I'm not holding out hope for another Warren (also a Republican, incidently.)

Bush certainly thinks that he's a Scaliaa, and perhaps his short history suggest so. But you can never really be sure. The fact that he choose someone who isn't currently on the Supreme Court as Chief Justice isn't itself unusual or anything. My only reservation is that fact that Roberts doesn't have much of a judicial background to judge hom on at all.

And as for Rehnquist, who unfortunately died Saturday night, I wasn't a Rehnquist fan. Don't get me wrong, I didn't hate him like I have this UGH feeling for Scalia and Thomas (Thomas b/c of his intellectualism - or lack thereof - and Scalia for his opinions. And since Thomas isn't intelligent enough to have his own opinions or know his own mind, Scalia for Thomas's opinions too.) Rehnquist wasn't along my idiological lines, and I rarely agreed with him. As Matthew pointed out, I'm not going to change my mind because he's dead. Though I am sorry that he had to suffer from cancer at the end of his life. And his long tenure on the Court is certaintly admirable. He influenced several decisions. He is certainly a historical figure, and will be missed, surely. But I'm not going to talk about how great he is now that he's dead.

2005-09-02T12:54:00.000-05:00

I've been strangely silent on the tragedy caused by Katrina. And that's because my heart goes out to everyone affected by this, but much like 9.11, it's way too much tragedy for me to take in all at once. I can't process it yet. Death. Destruction. Tragedy. I need more time. But a few things I need to get out.

First, FEMA blasting those who stayed for staying (as if leaving, traveling somewhere else, and getting a hotel or something was financially possible for many of them) is disgusting. Classless. You can think it privately, I don't care. But to say it is heartless.

The snipers make no sense to me. What is wrong with you people? Disasters really bring out the best and the worst in people. It's sad, really. Looting is not good, but really, not the same level as snipers, at least in my world.

And let's not even talk about whether the media is being racist in portraying all of this. (I will say that one of the radio guys here on WTAM was commeting on a story how a white kid "found" groceries at the grocery store, whereas black kids "looted" groceries from the grocery store. I haven't read either article, so I can't comment.)

Though the rest of the world's offers to help are nice. Being the US and the self-proclaimed only superpower in the world, that's rare.

You know, on Bush's watch, the wrost terrorist attack occurred and one of the worst, if not the worst, natural disasters occurred. Now, I'm not saying that they have anything to do with the price of beans, I'm just noting...

Finally, let's discuss why our response is "not acceptable" jackass. It's becase you send the National Guard - people who are supposed to respond to such tragedies - to Iraq. They aren't equipt to respond when they are down people.

Also, yesterday I learned that even at age 29, if you wear pigtails, some guy will revert back to being 8 and feel the need to yank on them. All evening long. (And for the record, I look adorable with braided pigtails. Some guy asked me if I was Native American b/c I looked like Pocahontas. Hmm...Disney characters aren't exactly the look I was going for, but ok...)

2005-09-01T10:51:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I actually played soccer. I wasn't expecting this. I wasn't mentally prepared to play.

First, it had been raining for most of the past 24 hours. They cancel the games when the sky LOOKS grey. So I was all mentally prepared to meet my friends for happy hour and get a good night sleep. I pay this mortgage for this house that I never see - I thought maybe I'd reconnect, remember why it was that I fell in love with my house in the first place (oh, wait, I never did; I just wanted to get rid of my real estate agent, and making a $220,000 purchase seemed like the best way to do it without hurting anyone's feelings).

But no, because it had cleared up by gametime, the game went on, and my entire evening plans went into flux. But that's not the worst of it, b/c I can rev myself up to play a game even when it's unexpected and requires me to play in the mud. In fact, that might be fun - though the "no slidetacking" rule, when playing in mud, is just cruel and unusual.

No, the worst part is that I played my first game in the water. And now I've confused, b/c I've jsut said that it cleared up. Friggin' Ccty of Cleveland, specifically Brookside Park, has the bloody sprinkler system on. What the HELL? I mean, really...sprinklers? It's just rained for 24 hours. That might be more collective rain that in the past four months. And you put the sprinklers on? And they can't even turn off. So basically, you had to dodge the sprinklers (sticking up from the ground, ready to trip you for looking at them cross-eyed. I know the sprinkers had evil intents). You had to run through the spray of water going after the ball (The one sprinkers was right in front of the goal.) If you kicked the ball, it will hit the water and just die. And I was soaked, drenched, by about 5 minutes into the game.

Really, Cleveland! Sprinklers?!? We've only been playing on the field on Wednesday nights since April...Was this really a shock to you??

And, oh, by the way, cut the freakin' grass too. It's been forever, and the ball just dies. It's impossible to dribble, kick, or any of the things that are, oh, say, helpful in the game of soccer. Pretty please? With a cherry on top?

Oh, does anyone want to go with me to see the Cinci Orchestra play at Blossom Saturday night? It's the Star Wars music...Yes, I'm a dork. But my friends all don't want to go, for some crazy reason. Fireworks afterwards. How can you refuse? Otherwise, I'll be the sad girl all by herself at Blossom... Sadly, I see that as my future. Sigh.

2005-08-29T08:40:00.000-05:00

First of all, my no booze rule lasted all the way until Saturday night. Congratulate me - I lasted 6 whole days before I fell off the wagon. That's a record or something, right?? And keep in mind that there was temptation along the way: I was at the bar with my friends on Sunday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday without succumbing. Hey, I deserve a medal or something, right? How about buying me a congratulatory drink??

Second, I woke up Saturday morning famished. But with absolutely no food in my house. So, of course, I went to Costco. Now for those not from here, or who don't know the genius of Costco, you may think, "I would have gone to the grocery store." Ahh, yes, but one does not go to Costco on Saturdays to shops. (Although I do quite well at that as well.) One goes to Costco b/c they have all the free samples... I LOVE the Soy Crisp Minis they had samples of. I, in fact, had to purchase a box.* I highly recommend them to all.
*"A box" at Costco = 20 packs.

Third, there was a guy Friday night wearing a shirt that said, "Keep staring. I might do a trick." Not that thus guy was my type at all, but the shirt was funny. I love fun t-shirts. I collect them myself. I went up to him and asked him to do a trick. He gives me this look that said, "did you ride the short bus to school?" I point at his shirt. He looks down, turns red, and mutters that he doesn't do tricks. Steadfastly refused. Umm...you've got a girl asking you to do tricks. She is with three other girls who want you to do a trick. And you refuse? Smooth. Two words: FALSE ADVERTISING!

Fourth, and yet another reason why men suck. Consider it advice or something. When you are out with a girl, do not not not hit on one of her friends. That makes you an asshole.

Fifth, (and I'm hesitant to tell this story because my parents now know of my blog, courtesy of The Plain Dealer), I went commando for the second time in about a week. This time, rather than at a wedding reception (sorry Susan) to tease my date - and I completely wasn't taken advantage of, but that's another story - it was to my softball game. See, last week, the captain of the team made a comment at the bar after the game that he didn't care if the girls on his team can play softball, as long as they are attractive. He then said that the girls should be wearing miniskirts. So two of the other girls and I ordered maroon skirts (I'm sorry, but they had to match the uniforms. Yellow with maroon lettering.) These things were too short to wear spandex underneath, and too tight to really get away with underwear. So...you see my issue. Of course, the real issue is that they were too short to also bend over and feel secure...thank God play outfield. I have no idea how the one girl, playing catcher, did it. Then again, we did get a few calls our way... (And we won both games.) Still, I learned that I much prefer going commando on a date than trying to play a sport wearing a skirt. I mean, yes, it was warm outside so the breeze was nice, but at the same time, you are running and hitting and all sorts of things that you are totally self conscious about the entire time.

Right before the game started, the ump asked if they were skorts, and we said no. He asked us not to slide into the bases. Spoilsport. (I didn't have the heart to tell him that we - or at least I - wasn't wearing underwear (the other two were wearing boys shorts, I don't own any, and wearing regular underwear, lines showed.))

The two teams before our game, then our team and the opposing team, and the two teams after our game, all saw us. At first it was fun (I do love attention) but then it got self conscious. Every time we had to get our gloves off the bench, reach for the bat on the ground, went for the ball, ran, or batted, we were stared at. (The last two didn't occur to me would be difficult until they were.) Other guys made a few comments to the guys on our team, like we weren't there and couldn't hear (umm...boys, we DO have ears...But I guess the comments were positive, so what the hell? Most often heard, "way to go" (umm...the GIRLS are wearing the skirts, why are you making that comment to the guys??) and "How did that happen? [And when they were told we were being smartasses] We're not complaining at all.") Still, it was quite enjoyable overall, both for the laughs of it (which is what we were going for), and for the sheer fact that for more than two hours, every guy on the field and in the stands was staring at us (you know, that hadn't even occurred to me, we just throught we'd be funny to OUR team b/c of the comments last week). So yeah, it was a good time, but I'm not sure I'd do it next week...)

I then went to a VIP party at Shooters for Bicardi Big Apple something or other. Basically, we get two free drinks, and we get to try this new apple Bicardi, and all the Cleveland alcoholics drinking on Sunday night were there. Fantastic. Of course, I was wearing a softball shirt, my miniskirt, and was all gross and dusty and disgusting from playing 2 hours in the sun, but still, who can turn down free drinks? Especially as I had falled off the wagon the night before anyway, right?

Finally, I mentioned this once already, but since I was told I was being unreasonable, I'm asking some advice of my own (mostly from the men here) as to whether a comment was an insult or not. I was talking to a friend the other night. This friend has called me "overeducated" (not a compliment) and asked me to "dumb down" in the past. So the other night, he told me that he likes me, "in spite of my mind." I take a little offense to the comment, and he "assured" me that when he first saw me, he only wanted my body and "didn't care if I had a mind or not." And even if I were to let that go, he continued that he'd be "just as happy if I had a lobotomy." Insulting! My best feature is my mind, if I do say so myself.

Anyway, I expressed that I was irritated and angry with him. He told me that *I* was in the wrong for taking offense. That I had no sense of humor. How could I not consider it a compliment, along the lines of "aww, he thinks I'm smart."

So my open question - is that insulting? Or not? I'm going with yes.

2005-08-28T11:25:00.000-05:00

I have lots of words. That comes as a great shock from she who brought you this and this and this and this, among others, no?

Anyway, because it's easiest for me, I have the entire family on my cell phone bill. And I get the cell phone bill for my family. We have 1100 minutes in our plan, free Sprint to Sprint minutes, and free nights and weekends after 7 pm. We use less than half our minutes on a normal month, by the way.

In part because this past month, I only used 86 minutes in my plan. (I've used less before.) This is less than the rest of my family, which is really amazing when one thinks abot how much I like to talk. In fact, I'm rather proud of myself.

Until...

You look the non-plan and unlimited nights and weekends minutes and Sprint to Sprint calls. My mom, dad and sister all used between 350 and 375 minutes each.

Me? I used 2106 minutes.

2106.

What the hell IS that? That's like 35 hours on the phone a month.

And the scary thing - that's just my Sprint bill. That doesn't count the Verizon bill!!

2005-08-26T10:51:00.000-05:00

Did you know that there is a Shop-a-holics Rehab? [I bring this up only in light of my own shoe problem. I think I need help for it. When your job supports your addictions, you know you have issues. And this is a serious matter.]

"[T]the compulsive shopper really does have an addiction. This is a true disorder which affects about eight percent of the U.S. population. Ninety percent of those affected are women. Compulsive-Shopping Disorder (CSD) is an obsessive-compulsive disorder like compulsive gambling or compulsive binge eating. In fact, people with other addictive behaviors may also suffer from CSD." From here.

In fact, "Doctors have begun to treat people who suffer from a compulsive need to shop with a drug originally designed to treat depression. ... US doctors have responded by prescribing the drug Cipramil for shopaholics who carry on buying despite running into huge debt.
The drug is an anti-depressant from the same family as Prozac. " From here.

I somehow feel better know that my shoe obsession has a name for it. Now for those voices in my head...

2005-08-25T23:18:00.000-05:00

I made the comment that I'm done with two things in life: alcohol and men. (Or, as my friend would says, boys and booze.) My friends don't seem to believe I can do it. Give up booze I mean. Personally, I'd think that alcohol is easier to give up, but I guess everyone has their own addictions. Totally inappropriate men are mine. More so than alcohol...

(I had someone tell me that they liked me in spite of my mind. The more I think about it, the more insulted I get. There is more to the conversation, but really, that should be enough, in my opinion. Likes me IN SPITE OF my mind? How exactly is that a compliment in XY chromosome land??)

Oh, for those in Cleveland, the Garage Bar is having all you can drink beer and wine for $10 tomorrow for happy hour (from 6-9.)

I had my mid-year review at work today. I'd rather people just criticize me throught the year - it's much more comfortable than hearing all the ways in which I suck in one sitting. At least if you aren't going to give me alcohol.

(Maybe my friends are right about the booze.)

2005-08-23T19:36:00.000-05:00

EVOLUTION, INTELLIGENT DESIGN FAIL TO EXPLAIN BUSH
Scientists in Oslo Debate Origin of President

At a conference being held this week in Oslo, Norway, over one thousand of the world's leading scientists have concluded that neither the theory of evolution nor the theory of intelligent design adequately explain President George W. Bush.

The conference, which organizers hoped would shed new light on the origin of the U.S. president, has so far led to more bafflement than insight, according to the University of Tokyo's Hiroshi Kyosuke.

"There are some here who firmly believe that the theory of evolution explains President Bush, since he shares many characteristics in common with the chimpanzee," said Mr. Kyosuke, one of the world's leading zoologists. "And yet, if you put him and a chimp side by side, it is hard to say with any confidence that Mr. Bush has evolved."

Similarly, supporters of the intelligent design theory have been frustrated in their attempts to apply that theory to President Bush, Mr. Kyosuke said.

"Most efforts to call Mr. Bush the result of intelligent design crumble to dust the moment he opens his mouth," Mr. Kyosuke said. "So we're really back to square one."

As for Mr. Bush's refusal to speak to antiwar activist Cindy Sheehan, Mr. Kyosuke said that he has developed a new theory to explain this phenomenon.

"I believe that President Bush is like 'The 40-Year-Old Virgin,'" Mr. Kyosuke said. "He's afraid to talk to a woman."

Elsewhere, in his first major policy address since announcing his candidacy for governor of New York, former Massachusetts Governor William Weld said, "On second thought, the Red Sox suck."

I simply adore Andy Borowitz...

2005-08-23T09:11:00.000-05:00

So wise friends out there in the world (who may not be all *that* wise, as they are reading my blog, but I'm trying to be flattering as I'm about to ask you for a favor.)

I need help coming up with beach/summer themed songs.

Any ideas?

2005-08-22T23:13:00.000-05:00

Why is it that I am incapable of keeping nailpolish on for more than two days before it starts chipping. Even the "ten days no chipping" nailpolish - two days. Am I defective? Broken? What the heck?

And does anyone read Funky Winkerbean? First Wally stepped on a land mine in Afghanistan and almost died. And now his wife Becky and Rana might be dead by a car bomb. It's a comic. I hate it when fiction starts reminding me of life. There is enough sadness and grimness in the real world. When something that is supposed to be humerous is grim, it's hard. Then again, this is the same comic that has featured divorce, alcoholism, and all sorts of real world issues, so why am I surprised?

I was also told that I throw a football like a gay male. What the hell does that mean? Is that better or worse than being told that I throw like a girl? Is that some sort of comment that I've just never heard of before?

So you will all be pleased to know that I did not mix the men this weekend. Unfortunately, I *did* mix my alcohol. Saturday night was bad...

I always knew that I liked Stewart Mandell. (Hmm...picking OSU in the Rose Bowl...that's gotta be a curse for OSU.)

And Travis Hafner made two outs in the same inning. That sucks. Speaking of, I've learned that I will swing at the first pitch every time I am up to bat. Doesn't matter how ugly the pitch is. I think it's because I start with a 1-1 count. Of course, this doesn't apply now that I have two strikes against me. What the hell is wrong with me? (OK, don't answer that.)

2005-08-21T22:57:00.000-05:00

Interesting.

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

http://www.blogthings.com/keystoyourheartquiz/">What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

There is one that I completely disagree with, one that I think I disagree with but might actually be true in the long run, and one that I'm not sure if it's accurate or not and go back and forth in my mind.

Then again, the one that I'm not sure about (the last one) is essentially true if you believe the other test:

Your Ideal Relationship is Casual Dating

Maybe you're looking for love...
But mostly you're looking for fun.
You could get serious with the right person.
For now, though, you're enjoying playing the field.

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

So what do I know?

2005-08-19T15:08:00.000-05:00

Ahh! My bruise is only an inch and a half by an inch and a half (from giving blood.) I find that most excellent. (Sad that I'm excited about that, no?)

When you are editing things, do you go with blue pen? Or red pen? I can't make up my mind. I hate red pen, it's like slaughtering an animal on my paper. But at the same time, the blue is easier to miss. Sometimes, I'll go wild and crazy and go with purple pen. Yes, that's me, living my life on the edge...

Monkeys.

(Nothing associated with that. It's just been a while since I've mentioned monkeys, and I didn't want you all to think that I've lost my natural love of all things monkey.)

2005-08-17T17:58:00.000-05:00

I hate giving blood. But as I've said on more than one occasion, I regularly do, b/c I have B- blood and I want to help and whatnot. But without fail, I have problems. Usually these problems are just bruises. Sometimes pretty significant bruises, but just bruises nonetheless.

However, today I went first thing in the morning. Thinking it would be quicker than it would be at lunch. The sad thing: it' likely was. The bad part, it STILL took an hour and a half. I'm not even joking. An hour and a half. You know me, I have the patience of a gnat. I was SO not amused. I think that's why the Red Cross has a blood shortage, NO ONE has that kind of time to waste.

So by the time it's over, I'm SO not interested in waiting to drink my apple juice and eat my cookies, you know? I just jet out of there and get to work. I am in the elevator, and notice that I appear to be bleeding. I get out of the elevator and sure enough, the bandage is all red. Weird, that's a new one.

I open the door, get a few stations away (admins all have desks/stations) and it occurs to me that blood is pouring down my arm, straight through the bandage. I pull the bandage off, and blood is pouring out of the hole in my arm.

I sit/fall down. (Blood is shooting out of me. Projectile bleeding. It was disgusting and distrubing. (And my first though: I hope I'm ok, I have soccer tonight!") The secretary gave me a bunch of napkins, which I put to my arm. There were probably 50 of them, and within a minute, they were soaked through. It was awful.

They called the Red Cross, who asked if I could come back down (ahh, no) and so they came up to me. Took their bloody time too. So for the rest of the day, concerned co-workers kept asking, "are you ok?" Word sure does travel fast...

Oh, and yesterday, I went to the Indians game. Kenny Rogers pitched. We were 4 ROWS behind home plate. Seriously, it was awesome. I could read the official gun that determines pitch speed. I was right on the aisle, so when I say right behind home plate, I literally mean that if they aimed for my head (but lower, you know) it's a strike.

2005-08-16T11:54:00.000-05:00

More advice from more college friends:

If your situation was a game it would be Twister. There are all these different moves to make and you choose the one to tie you up in knots.

Always. Sigh. I think that I amuse my friends...

But how much can you complain when your circumstances are of your own making? Your decisions of your own volition? Let's face it: Not at all.