Where are the lightening bugs?

Ok, yesterday started summer. It ranks among my favorite days of the year - it's the longest day of sun for the entire year. And yesterday was just beautiful. Or looked beautiful from my window at work. I worked until after midnight. There was much bitterness going on. I mean, it was practically a holiday, and I was at work. (For the record, the first day of winter is also one of my favorite days. Not because I really like the day, but because I try to stay positive. I hate winter, I hate when it's dark out so early, and the first day of winter means the days are starting to get longer, which means that summer is coming. I do not do the same thing in reverse with summer. It's all a matter of perspective.)

But as I was driving home from work today (I left at ten to nine today; it was an early night!) I just thought of something - I haven't seen a firefly all summer. Not a single firefly. I love fireflies. I absolutely love them. I remember when I was a kid and I would catch them at night. They make me so happy. So what's up with that? Are they a later summer event and I just don't remember? Do they hide when they know I'm home? Have they been eaten by those cicadas? Are they one of those things that when you get older, you can't see anymore? Like tea in little girls tea sets and imaginary friends? WHERE ARE MY LIGHTENING BUGS?

Ok, now the cutting grass story. I cut my grass Sunday. For those of you who don't know (which, obviously, is everyone), I have managed to survive 27 years of spoiled existence without ever once having cut the grass. Granted, I have spent 8 years in apartment living, including a period in New York City where there is no grass anyway. (At the time I felt sorry for native New Yorkers. Now, I realize how brilliant they are, getting rid of that annoying chore and leaving Sundays free for important stuff like...well, I don't know, but the important stuff.) Anyway, my father brings over his lawn mower, b/c I don't own one. When I was like 10 I watched Man on the Moon where the guy fell off the lawn mower and cut himself up and died. This stuck with me. So understand I'm petrified of lawn mowers. Petrified. And I have to somehow start this thing, and all I can think of is cutting my feet off. So I get this thing to start and it's loud and scary. Then, I'm pushing this thing, and I can't even push it, it's really heavy and I can't turn it around when I get to the end (I guess that there are push mowers and self propelled ones. This was a self propelled one). And then my dad is yelling at me because I'm not walking straight. In fact, I kinda look like some drunk person mowing a lawn. And because lawn mowers leave those lines on the grass where somehow your grass looks like it's different colors, you can actually all the crookedness. But I am - I'm walking as straight as I am capable of walking. I point out to him that I am the daughther who regularly walks into walls. I point out that if I take picture of this and carry it with me, then the next time I get pulled over and they think I'm drunk, I can show them what I do on a random Sunday afternoon. My father is not amused with me. In fact, he's downright irritated that at 27, I am incapable of handling this chore. And I *really* want to be good at mowing the lawn. I kinda like the idea of green feet, and I love the smell of grass. This just seems like something that will force me to stop and smell the freshly cut grass, right? And I can't do it. I mean, twelve year old boys can do this, and it is literally beyond me. I can't move the lawn mower, I can't turn the lawn mower, I'm not overly good and turning the law mower on, I can't walk straight with the lawn mower. About the only thing that I am capable of is...well, making a telephone call for someone *else* to mow my lawn. I managed to finish, but if you see my lawn, you will think that I was drunk when I did it. At least then I'd have an excuse. Plus, I missed all sorts of places and there are little pieces sticking up. I literally feel like a lawn mowing failure. Then, the next day, my wrists and shoulders were so sore. I have decided that maybe I'll just hire a teenage boy to cut my lawn...He'd be better at it. I mean, what is wrong with me that I can't cut the grass? And who is irresponsible enough to buy a house before they know if they can cut grass? It looks like such an easy thing to do...

Am I missing something with beheadings? I mean, isn't there a more humane way to kill someone?

I guess there is something wrong with wanting terrorists to be humane, but even when youare in the midst of a religious war, how do they justify killings? I don't get it. I don't understand the thought process behind The Inquisition, I don't understand this. I guess I just can't understand crazyness. Perhaps this is a good thing. But then I get all sad and weepy because there is bad stuff out in the world. You can't have one extreme without the other, so you need badness to define godness, blah blah blah. I mean, I really do understand that you can't have one extreme without the other. And so I spend the entire car drive home (when I usually call people on my cell) thinking about whether I would prefer never to know goodness anymore, if it meant that there would be no more evil in the world. I'm really torn. I mean, obviously, that's not what I want, for their not to be goodness either. But otherwise, I have to accept evilness. And I can't do that. And I haven't watched any of those videos of the beheadings. There is just no way. I would be sick to my heart. And my stomach. But mostly my heart. It's bad enough that I am forced to read all about it (partially by the media, but also by my own curiosity.) But if I don't see it, then it's still one of those things that you read about that's not really real, that can't really sink in, you know? It's like when I was 7 and a friend moved to the town over. It was about 3 minutes away by car. It was too far away to be real to me. As long as I don't see the videos, it's kinda like that. Call me a coward, I really don't care. Ok, I don't want to talk about this anymore, it's upsetting me.

So let's discuss the bitch who is opposing counsel. Actually, no, I don't have the strength to get into her right now. It's close to bedtime, and first, that will give me nightmares, and second, that will just upset me and bedtime is a night to reflect and refresh oneself, not to be angry and bitter. Oh, and scared. She scared me. She is evil incarnate. E.V.I.L.

And Somewhere Over The Rainbow is the top movie song of all time. All time? I like the #2 song a lot, As Time Goes By. But I'm not sure if I would make that number 1 either. I really have to give this consideration. I kinda like "When You Wish Upon A Star." How wistful. Though I guess so is Somewhere Over The Rainbow. Same feel to them. (How disgusted was I to see My Heart Will Go ON at 14? That's just b/c it was popular. I would not put that as one of the greatest songs of all time.)
1. "Over the Rainbow," "The Wizard of Oz," 1939
2. "As Time Goes by," "Casablanca," 1942
3. "Singin' in the Rain," "Singin' in the Rain," 1952
4. "Moon River," "Breakfast at Tiffany's," 1961
5. "White Christmas," "Holiday Inn," 1942
6. "Mrs. Robinson," "The Graduate," 1967
7. “When You Wish Upon a Star,” “Pinocchio,” 1940
8. “The Way We Were,” “The Way We Were,” 1973
9. “Stayin’ Alive,” “Saturday Night Fever,” 1977
10. “The Sound of Music,” “The Sound of Music,” 1965
11. “The Man That Got Away,” “A Star Is Born,” 1954
12. “Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend,” “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes,” 1953
13. “People,” “Funny Girl,” 1968
14. “My Heart Will Go On,” “Titanic,” 1997
15. “Cheek to Cheek,” “Top Hat,” 1935
16. “Evergreen (Love Theme From ‘A Star Is Born’),” “A Star Is Born,” 1976
17. “I Could Have Danced All Night,” “My Fair Lady,” 1964
18. “Cabaret,” “Cabaret,” 1972
19. “Some Day My Prince Will Come,” “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,” 1937
20. “Somewhere,” “West Side Story,” 1961
21. “Jailhouse Rock,” “Jailhouse Rock,” 1957
22. “Everybody’s Talkin’,” “Midnight Cowboy, 1969
23. “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ on My Head,” “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid,” 1969
24. “Ol’ Man River,” “Show Boat,” 1936
25. “High Noon (Do Not Forsake Me, Oh My Darlin’),” “High Noon,” 1952
26. “The Trolley Song,” “Meet Me in St. Louis,” 1944
27. “Unchained Melody,” “Ghost,” 1990
28. “Some Enchanted Evening,” “South Pacific,” 1958
29. “Born to Be Wild,” “Easy Rider,” 1969
30. “Stormy Weather,” “Stormy Weather,” 1943
31. “Theme From ‘New York, New York,”’ “New York, New York,” 1977
32. “I Got Rhythm,” “An American in Paris,” 1951
33. “Aquarius, “Hair,” 1979
34. “Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off,” “Shall We Dance,” 1937
35. “America,” “West Side Story,” 1961
36. “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious,” “Mary Poppins,” 1964
37. “Swinging on a Star,” “Going My Way,” 1944
38. “Theme From ‘Shaft,”’ “Shaft,” 1971
39. “Days of Wine and Roses,” “Days of Wine and Roses,” 1963
40. “Fight the Power,” “Do the Right Thing,” 1989
41. “New York, New York,” “On the Town,” 1949
42. “Luck Be a Lady,” “Guys and Dolls,” 1955
43. “The Way You Look Tonight,” “The Swing Time,” 1936
44. “Wind Beneath My Wings,” “Beaches,” 1988
45. “That’s Entertainment,” “The Band Wagon,” 1953
46. “Don’t Rain on My Parade,” “Funny Girl,” 1968
47. “Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah,” “Song of the South,” 1947
48. “Whatever Will Be, Will Be (Que Sera, Sera),” “The Man Who Knew Too Much,” 1956
49. “Make ’Em Laugh,” “Singin’ in the Rain,” 1952
50. “Rock Around the Clock,” “Blackboard Jungle,” 1955
51. “Fame,” “Fame,” 1980
52. “Summertime,” “Porgy and Bess,” 1959
53. “Goldfinger,” “Goldfinger,” 1964
54. “Shall We Dance,” “The King and I,” 1956
55. “Flashdance ... What a Feeling,” “Flashdance,” 1983
56. “Thank Heaven for Little Girls,” “Gigi,” 1958
57. “The Windmills of Your Mind,” “The Thomas Crown Affair,” 1968
58. “Gonna Fly Now,” “Rocky,” 1976
59. “Tonight,” “West Side Story,” 1961
60. “It Had to Be You,” “When Harry Met Sally ...,” 1989
61. “Get Happy,” “Summer Stock,” 1950
62. “Beauty and the Beast,” “Beauty and the Beast,” 1991
63. “Thanks for the Memory,” “The Big Broadcast of 1938,” 1938
64. “My Favorite Things,” “The Sound of Music,” 1965
65. “I Will Always Love You,” “The Bodyguard,” 1992
66. “Suicide Is Painless,” “M-A-S-H,” 1970
67. “Nobody Does It Better,” “The Spy Who Loved Me,” 1977
68. “Streets of Philadelphia,” “Philadelphia,” 1993
69. “On the Good Ship Lollipop,” “Bright Eyes,” 1934
70. “Summer Nights,” “Grease,” 1978
71. “The Yankee Doodle Boy,” “Yankee Doodle Dandy,” 1942
72. “Good Morning,” “Singin’ in the Rain,” 1952
73. “Isn’t It Romantic?” “Love Me Tonight,” 1932
74. “Rainbow Connection,” “The Muppet Movie,” 1979
75. “Up Where We Belong,” “An Officer and a Gentleman,” 1982
76. “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” “Meet Me in St. Louis,” 1944
77. “The Shadow of Your Smile,” “The Sandpiper,” 1965
78. “9 to 5,” “9 to 5,” 1980
79. “Arthur’s Theme (Best That You Can Do),” “Arthur,” 1981
80. “Springtime for Hitler,” “The Producers,” 1968
81. “I’m Easy,” “Nashville,” 1975
82. “Ding Dong the Witch Is Dead,” “The Wizard of Oz,” 1939
83. “The Rose,” “The Rose,” 1979
84. “Put the Blame on Mame,” “Gilda,” 1946
85. “Come What May,” “Moulin Rouge!” 2001
86. “(I’ve Had) the Time of My Life,” “Dirty Dancing,” 1987
87. “Buttons and Bows,” “The Paleface,” 1948
88. “Do Re Mi,” “The Sound of Music,” 1965
89. “Puttin’ on the Ritz,” “Young Frankenstein,” 1974
90. “Seems Like Old Times,” “Annie Hall,” 1977
91. “Let the River Run,” “Working Girl,” 1988
92. “Long Ago and Far Away,” “Cover Girl,” 1944
93. “Lose Yourself,” “8 Mile,” 2002
94. “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg,” “The Big Chill,” 1983
95. “(We’re Off on the) Road to Morocco,” “Road to Morocco,” 1942
96. “Footloose,” “Footloose,” 1984
97. “42nd Street,” “42nd Street,” 1933
98. “All That Jazz,” “Chicago,” 2002
99. “Hakuna Matata,” “The Lion King,” 1994
100. “Old Time Rock and Roll,” “Risky Business,” 1983

I go back and forth with the Wizard of Oz. Sometimes I'm not a fan. And I still have nightmares about flying monkeys. But "I'm gonna miss you most of all, Scarecrow," in any context, that actually can bring tears to my eyes. (In fact, the line is in For The Love Of The Game, and it brings tears to my eyes there as well.) There is just something about that line that grabs my heart and just pulls on it. Destroys me. But is that song the best ever? I'm gonna have to give that serious consideration as to what I think should be the best ever.

And what't the point of the Indians coming back from an 8-0 deficit to in fact take a 9-8 lead in the 8th inning if they are just gonna give the game away anyway? Why get my hopes up? Just don't bother to score at all. Whatever. I hate baseball. It's extra innings now, I'm exhausted, want to go to bed, am physically incapable of turning the television off and not know what happens until I wake up tomorrow and read the newspaper. I mean, Boston beat Minnesota and one of the teams can pick up a game in the Central. Chicago is 2 back, we are 4 back. I was most excited to win last night because that meant that we were .500. Mediocrity rules.