It's the end of the world as we know it...

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So, I have a question about chemistry. Not the science subject, but the feeling. YOU KNOW, chemistry.

Can you sense it in a two minute meeting? Or more importantly, in a telephone conversation?

There is some guy who is pushing to go out. He's attractive enough. Brown hair (meaning it's not my anti-blonde bias here). Blue eyes. Nice smile, dimples. Intelligent. We seem to have several things in common. Plenty to talk about.

The problem is, when I'm actually talking to him, my attention is EVERYWHERE else. I mean, I'm making a grocery shopping list, thinking about all the errands I need to run, etc...And all I can think is, this can't make for a positive thing. I mean, I'm listening and responding and even talking myself, but I'm not actively involved in the conversation. I don't really care if it goes on. I don't care if we talk again, or when we talk again, or if we ever manage to coincide our schedules. I just can't work up the emotion to care one way or the other. It won't be awful, like cocoa guy, but it's not like it's important or I am expecting great things or anything.

So my question - do I agree to the pushing and see if there is actual chemistry in person when we are together for longer than 2 minutes (I think it was closer to 5...but it was clearly less than 5)? Or should I assume that such chemistry could be observed through the telephone??


  • At 1:03 AM, Blogger CC Baxter said…

    (endless comments I know)
    I say go for a meeting in person. What've you got to lose (besides precious time)?

    But if your feeling pressured into it, is it right? Doesn't seem so to me. Kinda sounds like your bored?

  • At 8:15 AM, Blogger melyssa said…

    you never know unless you try. i was just going on that interview "to see how things turned out" and now i've got a much much better job.

    on the other hand, if you think you're going to feel uncomfortable by going, don't go. i don't think anyone should do anything that makes them feel extreme discomfort without an overwhelming positive result (you know, like having a baby - extreme pain, but a wonderful bundle of joy in the end).

    okay, i've ranted on your blog long enough. good luck with your decision!

  • At 9:27 AM, Blogger Erinna said…

    I say give it a shot...nothing to lose. :)

  • At 9:54 AM, Blogger Curtis said…

    I am with the majority -- go! If nothing else, you can ask him what his theory is on Walt. Can he wish anything he wants? Does he have control over it? Were those flashbacks last week his or his fathers?

    You know, then you might get some answers and share them with the group.

    One low key date never hurts. I'm not sure if you can sense chemistry over the phone. Maybe in some cases but I don't think it is the perfect test. Spend some time with him and see what happens.

  • At 10:43 AM, Blogger p.p. said…

    I too say go, but on the condition that you feel comfortable about the decision. You don't want to doom it before actually going.

  • At 10:47 AM, Blogger Me said…

    Not one of you are giving me the answer that I want. ;-)

    So you all are essentially saying not to trust my instincts that there is no point?

    Put yourself in HIS place - would you want to go out with someone who publically admits that she doesn't pay attention when talking to you.

    And really, that gets to the point of, why bother with something like that. My free time is pretty limited. Thus making it VERY valuable. Why waste any of it on someone if we aren't friends and I don't see any potential anyway?

    But you all seem like a strong voting alliance.

  • At 1:25 PM, Blogger p.p. said…

    You obviously have not met my condition, so don't go.

  • At 1:52 PM, Blogger Scarlett said…

    Everyone is telling you to go out, because it is the womanly agenda to catch a man or same sex, whatever.

    They're missing the point - which I think you understand. Why bother? If you're thinking of yesterday's lunch while you're talking, then you already have a clear answer. You just need permission to trust your intuition.

    Yes. It is possible to like or dislike a person in two minutes. I do it all the time and hardly wrong. Good luck.

  • At 8:04 PM, Blogger Katie said…

    Count me in the "why bother" minority. It's there or it's not. In his case, not.

  • At 8:03 PM, Blogger Willful Exposé said…

    since you asked: i vote that, if something convenient comes up, you do a quick, business-type lunch just to see. as long as it's clear you didn't go out of your way much for him, he shouldn't get big expecations. if that meetings is like you fear it will be, then you can call it quits with no glances back.

    ps: thanks for commenting on my blog.


  • At 4:15 PM, Blogger tadvent said…

    Sorry if I'm a little late on this, but I just found your blog. I think you should do a cheezy date night, get all dressed up, have him pick you up for a good dinner, go dancing, see a band ... whatever.

    If in that setting, if you are thinking about everything other than whose place are we going to after this, tell him thanks for a great evening and give me a call. One you will return two weeks later.

    Don't forget, this guy could be thinking about the point spread of the superbowl while you are telling him about your latest case.


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