So this party Saturday night. House party. Bring your own alcoholic beverages. So I had Smirnoff Twisted, all these bottles on the floor of the car. I also had six pounds of gummy bears soaking in vodka. (MOst excellent, by the way.)
Anywaon, on the way over, I get pulled over for speeding. The cop comes, sees all these bottles of alcohol on the floor, and immediately asks if I've been drinking. Well, no, I haven't. (Yet, maybe, but the honest answer is still no. If you want to find me drunk, catch me in a few hours...) Anyway, none of these bottles are open, but they also aren't in a package (to hard to carry them all - I was just going to toss them in a bag) so apparently the cop doesn't believe me. I explain that I am on my way to a party where it is bring your own beverage, pointing out my sleeping bag and pillow in the backseat (as I'm responsible). Nothing. I point out that sitting next to me is a container with six pounds of gummy bears soaking in vodka.
NOT what to point out. His eyes light up. Now to me, this proves I'm going to a house party because why *else* would one have SIX POUNDS of gummy bears. For ANY reason. Cop evidentally thinks that the easiest way for me to drink isn't going to a bar, isn't sitting at my house, but driving around. I'm 29. I can drink in my house. Why would I drive around and drink? Yes, there are lots of bottles of alcohol there, but give me a break.
Anyway, he is without a breathalizer (can he do that?) and so gives me manual dexterity tests. Which I fail miserably. (You sing the alphabet backwards, BUT starting with U and continuing to J. Heck, I ddin't even understand what he wanted. Or standing on one foot. I can't do that sober. And I'm pleading with him to give me a breathalizer, take a pee sample, anything at all because I haven't been drinking. Really and truly. In fact, I had one beer at the Treehouse after football, and that may have been all the alchohol I've had all week. After about 10 minuntes, a second cop car comes, and I pass the breathalizer and am sent on my way to get drunk.
And a friend sent me this email:
Fun. Though let's be perfect clear, I will be sleeping at that point. Why? Because that's what Stephanie's do. So I guess that I'll miss this momentus occasion.
Anywaon, on the way over, I get pulled over for speeding. The cop comes, sees all these bottles of alcohol on the floor, and immediately asks if I've been drinking. Well, no, I haven't. (Yet, maybe, but the honest answer is still no. If you want to find me drunk, catch me in a few hours...) Anyway, none of these bottles are open, but they also aren't in a package (to hard to carry them all - I was just going to toss them in a bag) so apparently the cop doesn't believe me. I explain that I am on my way to a party where it is bring your own beverage, pointing out my sleeping bag and pillow in the backseat (as I'm responsible). Nothing. I point out that sitting next to me is a container with six pounds of gummy bears soaking in vodka.
NOT what to point out. His eyes light up. Now to me, this proves I'm going to a house party because why *else* would one have SIX POUNDS of gummy bears. For ANY reason. Cop evidentally thinks that the easiest way for me to drink isn't going to a bar, isn't sitting at my house, but driving around. I'm 29. I can drink in my house. Why would I drive around and drink? Yes, there are lots of bottles of alcohol there, but give me a break.
Anyway, he is without a breathalizer (can he do that?) and so gives me manual dexterity tests. Which I fail miserably. (You sing the alphabet backwards, BUT starting with U and continuing to J. Heck, I ddin't even understand what he wanted. Or standing on one foot. I can't do that sober. And I'm pleading with him to give me a breathalizer, take a pee sample, anything at all because I haven't been drinking. Really and truly. In fact, I had one beer at the Treehouse after football, and that may have been all the alchohol I've had all week. After about 10 minuntes, a second cop car comes, and I pass the breathalizer and am sent on my way to get drunk.
And a friend sent me this email:
On Wednesday, at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00
in the morning, the time and date will be…
01:02:03 04/05/06
That will never happen again.
Fun. Though let's be perfect clear, I will be sleeping at that point. Why? Because that's what Stephanie's do. So I guess that I'll miss this momentus occasion.
posted by Me @ 4/03/2006 02:56:00 PM
3 Comments:
At 9:07 PM,
Yoga Korunta said…
It's what Davids do, too!
At 5:19 PM,
Ralli Rooster said…
Yeah, so I'm not surprised at all about the story about the cop. I really don't know any one else who would have pointed out the gummy bears in vodka other than you. On that note...gummy bears in Vodka, that sounds really good.
At 3:00 PM,
Dennis! said…
I am so taking gummy bears in vodka to the next party I'm invited to.
I wouldn't be able to pass field sobriety tests even while sober, either.
And I too slept straight through the momentous event. Though it is cool, I guess.
Post a Comment
<< Home