It's the end of the world as we know it...

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Perhaps some boy can explain...

Not to be ungrateful, but...

After work, I went out for "one drink" with my secretary, a partner, and his secretary. One drink turned into another turned into me arriving home around 2:30. The weird part of being a girl is, the partner bought our drinks for us at happy hour (we each had two). Then I drove my secretary to her hometown where she was meeting her boyfriend and one of his friends at the bar. The next thing I know, it's 2 am.

Now here's the part I need help with. I went out with $64 dollars, I came home with $64 dollars, I played two games of bowling (my limit is about 6 frames, so the next game and a half sucked), one game on videogame bowling (I'm not very good at that at all...), two games of darts (I keep a set of personal darts in my car. Boys v. girls. I was on fire, but they boys won. I can get into how wrong that was - I had closed everything but 15, 17, and 18 before they had closed anything, but alas, we lost), we ordered three types appetizers around 7, we ordered Gyros at 2, and we had alcohol all night - at least six shots and eight amaretto sours. (That's what I remember but I think I'm pretty close to accurate.)

So here's my question. Why on earth do boys think that they need to buy a female drinks the entire time? My money absolutely wasn't good tonight. I threw it out several times. Each time I was told, "You get next round." When exactly does this next round occur? And more than that, they get drinks when you are half full, not when you are empty, so at any given point in time I'd have a drink and a half. I left $20 on the table when we left - whey wouldn't even let me pay for the gyros. What is up with that?? Let me help - you ain't getting any from me. No matter how much you buy me drinks.

Not that I mind chivalry, but I'd rather have a car door opened for me than drinks bought me me all night. And you don't want to get mad, because they are just trying to be nice. I just don't know what it is that makes a man decide that he has to buy a woman drinks. When she's already said, "it ain't going to happen."


I was talking and all of a sudden the one guy goes, "one in one hundred." He starts pointing to my eyes which, by the way, makes me all self-conscious. He says, "open your eyes, look here, do this." Ugh. Turns out that he believes that only one in one hundred people, when they open their eyes, have the whites of their eyes showing all around. Yes, this is too recent after the makeup eye fiasco for such eye attention. First, grr. Second, I can't imagine that's true. In my immediate family, I think that four out of five have that (mom, me, sister, brother). Bah.

Oh, I learned that: (1) my secretary voted for Bush; (2) my secretary's boyfriend, a Republican who I generally argue politics with, voted for Kerry; and (3) his random friend - who I evidentially made out with in June, not that I remembered him - is a strong Republicans in every offensive way; and (4) their other friend, who was not there last night but who I argued with back in June when I met him for the first time, moved from this "Navy" Republican to "brainwashed" - according to his own conservative friends.

And want fun. Someone told the partners at his or who review this week that, "I'm not really sure that I want to be a lawyer." And it ain't me. Interesting...


  • At 11:57 AM, Blogger Jen(nifer) said…

    Are you trying to make me move to Cleveland? : )

    Rich people never allow people to pay for drinks...

    And poor Jennifers with money to burn...but I am dumb.

  • At 12:27 PM, Blogger Me said…

    The partner makes more them me. The one guy probably makes more than me. My secretary's boyfriend does not. So it's not that they all make more than I do. Or that I don't make enough to buy my own drink. It's totally a "I am man and see how far I can piss" thing.

  • At 12:47 PM, Blogger Jeff Hess said…

    Shalom Estephania,

    It's hardly any great secret. It just involves a bit of male self delusion. If you pay for everything then the female will feel an obligation and you'll get laid. Crude? Certainly. Even males who don't think that way have it driven deep, deep into their subconscious so that they feel something vaguely wrong about letting the female shell out any cash. It's an instinct you have to consciously fight.



  • At 1:26 PM, Blogger tadvent said…

    Not every guy pays with the hopes of getting laid. Some guys just like to do nice things for women. I never ask a woman to pay or even dutch. I don't expect to get anything from it.

    I also think a man should walk on the street side of a sidewalk, never kiss on a first date, open a car door, walk first through a revolving door, stand up when a woman leaves and never curse in front of a woman.

    Maybe it's old fashioned, but it's respectful, any woman I've happen to be with seemed to appreciate the effort.

    I would take their gestures last night as a compliment, they obviously enjoyed your company and wanted you to be with them. If they wanted you to pitch in, they had several chances to take your money. I would thank them and do something nice for them in the future. i.e. have everyone over for a party, cook them dinner if you like... etc... I know they would appreciate that.

    I'm glad you had a good night out, I am envious, I was home watching my two sick daughter while my wife was also sick in bed. Appreciate it while you can.

    PS. sorry for the spelling and gramatical errors.

  • At 12:09 AM, Blogger CC Baxter said…

    I've always found in a group setting (either all male or male/female) that there is always someone who insists on paying for everything and won't take anyone's money. Was it something like that?

    Sounds like a heck of a night. Who passed on the false information? I'll stick Guido on them for ya.

  • At 1:08 AM, Blogger Ontario Emperor said…

    Regarding the secretary's boyfriend - I wonder if he would have paid for all of your drinks if your secretary had not been there. Maybe the boyfriend was trying to impress the secretary? Making sure the secretary was in the good graces of the boss?

    I don't know; I'm just guessing. I probably would have let you pay for the second round.


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