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An Idiot-Proof Checklist for Newscasters

CBS News had issued . . . "an idiot-proof checklist" for company idiots to use when deciding whether documents relating to a news story were forged or not:

1. Do not read any documents on the air if the source said he got them from "some guy at the mall."

2. Disregard all emails and instant messages purportedly from the Vietnam War.

3. Official government correspondence and memoranda are rarely, if ever, signed with a smiley-face.

4. If the document has references to a ham sandwich, potato salad and Diet Coke, it is not an authentic government document. It is Andy Rooney's lunch order.

From The Borowitz Report. Once again, evidence that Andy Borowotz is god...


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