Bye Bye Martha
And now, even though I really need art help and I just posted it, I also need to gloat about this. You know why I'm so happy? Because I hate Martha Steward. And I hate Rush. And Dr. Laura. I hate all those haughty types of tell others how to live I enjoy seeing them get their comeuppance. And yes, this makes me a horrible person, and yes, I know that, and guess what? I don't really care. I mean, look at her gloating face. Bah!
Now this is of course federal prison. And probably not all that tough. Minimum security I'd guess. And only for five months. So it's not like Martha's gonna be anyone's bitch. But hey, a girl can dream, right??
Now I've been to two all-male federal prisons. When I worked for the District Courts, all the judicial clerks took a field trip (just like elementary school. Score!) to two MAXIMUM SECURITY prisons and one minimum security camp (which was on the premises of the maximim one I think). The camp was funny, it was literally a boot camp and if they graduated, that was all they had to serve and then they could get it expunged. The maximum security ones are scary. These are all BAD people, objectively, right? To get to maximum security, that means that it was a serious felony, specificially a violent one. Violent. Aak!! Murderers. Like killers and all. (Which I know because names were familiar to other clerks. Our guys were all in other prisions. By name being familiar, I mean the prison lawyers who file nonstop lawsuits and make the clerks' lifes heck.) BUT THEY AREN'T LOCKED UP. I mean, they are, but they aren't. They are walking around like nobody's business. Yikes! The scariest part (after the bat) was when we walked into the gym. First, all male, they don't get to see women that often, which is intimidating b/c there is MUCH MUCH MUCH staring going on. You can't help but feel self conscious. Then there is the entire thing that they are int he gym, and they have free weights, and all that's going through my head is "these are killers, and they have a deadly weapon in their hands." I was so intimidated. I'm not sure I've ever been more intimidated, not even my BC. I mean, ever! (I later learned that there has NEVER been a fight or problem with the free weights b/c it's such a release for them and they all know that the first fight there is, they are gone and never coming back at all. Ever. So the person who would do that would die because all the other prisoners would kill them. I guess it works, but it's still frightening to little ol' me.)
Ok, since I mentioned the bat, I guess I'll tell this story. We were walking down the halls, and these are OLS buildings, not well kept up really, with poor lighting. It was like a scary castle. And there's this thing on the ground ahead, and I'm walking and look down and it's a DEAD BAT! I scream. I mean, I scream bloody murder in this old corridor where it just keeps echoing and echoing. And these guards literally morph out of the wall, with these guns pointed at me because they assumed I was being attacked by one of the prisoners, rather than a dead bat. Yeah...that was one of my finer moments in life.
Let's let Martha experience some of that!!
Now this is of course federal prison. And probably not all that tough. Minimum security I'd guess. And only for five months. So it's not like Martha's gonna be anyone's bitch. But hey, a girl can dream, right??
Now I've been to two all-male federal prisons. When I worked for the District Courts, all the judicial clerks took a field trip (just like elementary school. Score!) to two MAXIMUM SECURITY prisons and one minimum security camp (which was on the premises of the maximim one I think). The camp was funny, it was literally a boot camp and if they graduated, that was all they had to serve and then they could get it expunged. The maximum security ones are scary. These are all BAD people, objectively, right? To get to maximum security, that means that it was a serious felony, specificially a violent one. Violent. Aak!! Murderers. Like killers and all. (Which I know because names were familiar to other clerks. Our guys were all in other prisions. By name being familiar, I mean the prison lawyers who file nonstop lawsuits and make the clerks' lifes heck.) BUT THEY AREN'T LOCKED UP. I mean, they are, but they aren't. They are walking around like nobody's business. Yikes! The scariest part (after the bat) was when we walked into the gym. First, all male, they don't get to see women that often, which is intimidating b/c there is MUCH MUCH MUCH staring going on. You can't help but feel self conscious. Then there is the entire thing that they are int he gym, and they have free weights, and all that's going through my head is "these are killers, and they have a deadly weapon in their hands." I was so intimidated. I'm not sure I've ever been more intimidated, not even my BC. I mean, ever! (I later learned that there has NEVER been a fight or problem with the free weights b/c it's such a release for them and they all know that the first fight there is, they are gone and never coming back at all. Ever. So the person who would do that would die because all the other prisoners would kill them. I guess it works, but it's still frightening to little ol' me.)
Ok, since I mentioned the bat, I guess I'll tell this story. We were walking down the halls, and these are OLS buildings, not well kept up really, with poor lighting. It was like a scary castle. And there's this thing on the ground ahead, and I'm walking and look down and it's a DEAD BAT! I scream. I mean, I scream bloody murder in this old corridor where it just keeps echoing and echoing. And these guards literally morph out of the wall, with these guns pointed at me because they assumed I was being attacked by one of the prisoners, rather than a dead bat. Yeah...that was one of my finer moments in life.
Let's let Martha experience some of that!!
posted by -Me @ 7/16/2004 09:55:00 AM
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