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15.9.04

Bad Day

So I couldn't find my car keys this morning. I'm searcing EVERYWHERE. I look in my purse, my briefcase, on the floor, in the refridgerator (I once found my phone there) in the couch, my bedroom, the basement (I didn't even GO in the basement yesterday). I'm yelling and swearing at my cats for moving my keys. I finally decide to go look in my car (after like 15 minutes) and yes, there they are - even in the ignition still! So I'm beyond flustered (always a good way to start the day) and I get my stuff and go to my car and start the car. It just makes this weird noise. Turns out I left my keys in the ignition WITH THE CAR STILL RUNNING and I am now out of gas. I am the biggest idiot known to mankind. Oh, and I will NEVER live this down. Case in point:

[Set up: Friend calls a psychic hotline for "real" advice about future.]
Me: Ha! What did Miss Cleo say? I can't believe you, you are so stupid.
Response: "Yeah, well at least I have never left my keys in a running car in my garage overnight so that it ran out of gas, especially when I sleep right above said garage."

[Set up: Interview for summer position. The following is an actual real situation.]
Guy I interviewed: "And I thought that it was fucking bullshit."
Me later talking to co-worker: "And he swore in his interview. How stupid is that? He's trying to impress me and he's swearing in the first half hour like a sailor."
Co-Worker: "Yeah, but at least he didn't leave his keys in a running car in his garage overnight so that it ran out of gas."

Sigh. My life suddenly just got longer...

2 Comments:

  • At 2:36 PM, Blogger Curtis said…

    And fifteen minutes from now....

    (phone ringing in an office)
    Stephanie: Hello, this is Stephanie.
    Cur..., err concealed voice: Hi
    Stephanie: how may I help you?
    Concealed voice: is your car running?
    Stephanie: Yes.
    Concealed voice: You'd better go catch it.

    Rim shot!

    Simpsons prank calls to make up for that atrocity.

    Uh, Amanda Huggenkiss? Hey, I'm looking for Amanda Huggenkiss! Ah, why can't I find Amanda Huggenkiss?
    Barney says "Maybe your standards are too high!"
    You little S.O.B.! Why, when I find out who you are, I'm going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your butt!

    ----------------------------------------------------
    (Homer) Hello, I'd like to speak with a Mr. Snotball, first name Eura
    (Moe) Eura Snotball?
    (Homer) What? How dare you! If I find out who this is, I'll staple a flag to your butt and mail you to Iran!

     
  • At 7:38 PM, Blogger Alli said…

    I read this & thought "Thank Goodness! Someone else is having as crappy a day as I am!" And then thought, "Wow, that is a new low for me. I should be ashamed that I feel that way towards a friend. But I am laughing too hard. At Poor Stephanie's foibles. Ahhh, I am a bad friend. hahahaha."

    This ranks up there with getting stopped by the policeman while not wearing any pants, which is still my favorite Anti-Gravity Stephanie story.

    I once shut my cat Jubilee in the fridge. She was just a little curious kitten back then. I found her after I realized I hadn't seen her around for a good twenty minutes.

     

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