So maybe that depression guy was onto something. When I got home last night, and my credit card statement was in the mail. I spent four thousand dollars and fifty cents the month before. That's excessive, even for me. Oh, well. It gave me a start, but I guess it didn't depress me. After all, it's really the only credit card I use - other may have a few dollars on it every other month or so, but it really is my primary card. So that's not bad overall, with Christmas in there, and plane tickets to visit friends, and whatnot.

My dad's side of the family is...different from my mom's. Probably because it's small (my paternal grandfather died before I was born, my paternal grandmother died when I was in high school, my father is one of two; he doesn't keep in touch with any cousins or anything.) They are also spread out. His brother lives in another state, and his brothers two kids live in two other states. So it's just different.

My Uncle and one of his son's are fighting. I'm not quite sure what it's about, because my Uncle doesn't like to talk about it, though my Aunt has mentioned enough that I probably see the forest. So my Aunt and Uncle have a grandchild that they never get to see. Ever. My Uncle last saw his grandchild in September of 2001. My Aunt in February 2002. She last spoke with her grandchild on the telephone in March 2002. And their son has refused to speak to them since November 2003. That is more than three years that their grandchild is out of their lives. I don't understand how that is even possible. And during that time, my Aunt's father (my cousin's grandfather!) died, and he never even returned my Aunt's calls, sent anything, or attended the funeral. Something like that just breaks my heart. It just kills my aunt. I didn't realize that they weren't even getting Christmas cards (I get a Christmas card with a picture of my cousin) until I mentioned it in passing, and my Aunt begged me to send her a copy of the picture. She let me know that I completely made her entire year. They haven't seen a picture of my cousin since 2002. 2002!! That's awful. And you are depriving your child of a relationship with her grandparents. (They are also estranged from my cousin's wife's parents. But they were from before their wedding.) So this poor child has no grandparents. And I think of how much the three grandparents I knew added (and continue to add, with my maternal grandparents) to my life, and that relationship that I have with them, and how I wish that I had the opportunity to get to know my paternal grandfather, and I feel for my cousin. And I don't understand how that just doesn't matter. (If you want my opinion, which I know you don't but I'll give anyway, my cousin is completely in the wrong. And if he didn't have a grandchild, he is so in the wrong that my Uncle may have cut him out of his life anyway. Of course, had there not been a grandchild, a comment wouldn't have been made that led to the fight in the first place.) Alas, broken families...

Still no word on our reviews. The anticipation is quite awful...I'd so much rather have it now and get it over with already. It's pretty hard to concentrate, just waiting for something to happen. If it happens on, say, Friday, it's just going to ruin my weekend. Which would suck. I mean, one of my friends is having a cooking party this weekend. I'm not sure what a cooking party is, but she assured me that I didn't have to cook anything and I could just watch. I thikn it's an excuse to drink. She has planned this since the week between Christmas and New Years. Something about cookies. Maybe we are planning for a bake sale?? I also have whirleyball this weekend. Which involves driving in a bumper car. There is a strategy to the game, but I'm bad at it.

But I do love to crash into things, and it's so less expensive to do it in these cars than in my car...