Andy Borowitz

But today Andy Borowitz showed why he's one of the funniest people in the universe as well. (And originally from Cleveland, score. Also the creator of The Fresh Prince, for those who recall Will Smith before he was WILL SMITH.)

NAME OF KOBE'S ACCUSER APPEARS ON BILLBOARDS ACROSS COUNTRY
Judge to Accuser: 'My Bad'

The rape trial of basketball star Kobe Bryant took another unexpected turn today as his accuser's name appeared on massive outdoor billboards across the country.

In what is being described as "a clerical error," the supposedly confidential name of Mr. Bryant's accuser appeared on over four thousand billboards which had been earmarked for McDonald's "I'm Lovin' It" campaign.

Eagle County District Judge Terry Ruckriegle said that the decision to plaster the accuser's name on the billboards was "a huge mistake, obviously" and would be corrected at once, telling reporters, "To Mr. Bryant's accuser, let me say this: my bad."

But the judge's apology was undercut somewhat moments later when he accidentally let slip the accuser's name to the room full of reporters.

With increasing exposure on the Internet, in the tabloids, and now on over four thousand billboards, Mr. Bryant's accuser is currently the third most famous person in America after President Bush and Paris Hilton, a new CNN/USA Today poll indicates.

Judge Ruckriegle imposed a new gag order in the case one day after the billboards appeared and one week after flyers featuring the accuser's name, likeness, address and phone number were mailed to over forty million U.S. households in what is being described as "a clerical error."

In other legal news, former Iraqi strongman Saddam Hussein today said that he would volunteer to be a character witness at Private Lynndie England's hearing in the Abu Ghraib prison abuse scandal.

"I've never met Lynndie England, but I'm a big fan of her work," Saddam told reporters.

Borowitz Report