For those keeping track at home, I've got a bruised sternum, a cracked rib, whiplash, and a concussion. Again, this was from a soccer injury. SOCCER. This was not a car accident or anything. This was me just running into someone. A collision, yes, and I was running speed, but still, this is ridiculous.

And, as a fun little ancillary (completely separate from crashing into the guy last night), I have a sizable cyst on my ovary that I need to have taken care of in the next week.

This part was funny. They refused to believe that I wasn't pregnant, merely because I take prenatal vitamins. Regardless of how many times I told them no. (It likely didn't help that they asked when I last had my period and I couldn't answer that. I mean, I know generally when it was, but specifically??) They absolutely refused to believe me. They actually insisted on doing a pregnancy test. (It was negative. Told 'em. And then they told me, like I'd either be relieved or upset. Either way, they told me like the result would be a surprise to me.)

But my favorite part, they flat out absolutely refused to believe that my injury was from soccer. I was asked if I felt "safe" in my home situation. If I have ever been abused (ok, I assume they mean recently, rather than 13 years ago, right?) If I'd feel more comfortable talking about this with a female. What my living situation was. Whether I was in a relationship that others disapproved of and what those reasons were. What are all those bruises on my legs from. (Other weeks of soccer. My gosh, I play soccer. I get kicked. I'm pretty physical playing. Shocker I know - I'm in the emergency room because I thought I could take out a guy at least a head taller than me and 50 pounds heavier than me.) And I kept saying, "I live alone with two cats. I'm not dating anyone. I'm just physical and bruise easily. The answers won't change with a female." And this went on for about 20 minutes while I was having the regular evaluation. Then, when I was waiting for the barium to take effect, a nurse came in and I literally got a "come to Jesus" speech. (I've GIVEN that speech before to clients; it totally wasn't necessary.) If you would have been there, you'd have loved it.

Oh, and my nurse was friggin' hot. Nurses should not be hot. Though because of that, I tried to forgive him for sticking me with a needle for hours because of that. And we commiserated about the fact that this is our final stand with the 20s. (He was about 2 weeks older than me.)

And a few things that sucked. First, I had to drink 26 oz of barium. Has anyone ever had to drink that? Seriously? It was the most disgusting thing that I've ever tasted, and I had to QUICKLY down the entire 26 oz. Like a shot that never ended - but not as tasty as the shot. And that was the ONLY thing I had to drink all day long. No joke. It was disgusting. AND I had a needle in my arm the entire time. Well, actually, the plastic was in my arm, so they wouldn't have to poke me a second time. We already know how I feel about needles. Even when hot nurses are the ones to put them in.

Now, I'm off to bed. I have some vicodin. And I'm supposed to take that with 800 mg of ibuprofen. Hmm, perhaps I should add some alcohol too...

Oh, and no, I didn't get back in time for etiquette training. I was at the emergency room (well, doctor then emergency room) for 7 hours. I'm totally busted tomorrow. :(

And for those wondering, I went to my softball game today, but didn't play. (I just went in case they didn't have enough girls. Since they did, I just kept score.) And I'm not cleared to play football Saturday. But if I'm able to breathe without pain, and will "take it lightly" and probably "should" tape my ribs, I should be able to play on Wednesday. They said that the whiplash should be gone by then, so I'd be able to turn my head. (Score!) I have a follow-up for the concussion ("are you sure that you haven't hit your head today as well? That's a long time for a concussion.") So...it's been a great day for me. Hope it has been for you all too!!

Oh, and happy Friday the 13th.