It's the end of the world as we know it...

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12.5.05

For those keeping track at home, I've got a bruised sternum, a cracked rib, whiplash, and a concussion. Again, this was from a soccer injury. SOCCER. This was not a car accident or anything. This was me just running into someone. A collision, yes, and I was running speed, but still, this is ridiculous.

And, as a fun little ancillary (completely separate from crashing into the guy last night), I have a sizable cyst on my ovary that I need to have taken care of in the next week.

This part was funny. They refused to believe that I wasn't pregnant, merely because I take prenatal vitamins. Regardless of how many times I told them no. (It likely didn't help that they asked when I last had my period and I couldn't answer that. I mean, I know generally when it was, but specifically??) They absolutely refused to believe me. They actually insisted on doing a pregnancy test. (It was negative. Told 'em. And then they told me, like I'd either be relieved or upset. Either way, they told me like the result would be a surprise to me.)

But my favorite part, they flat out absolutely refused to believe that my injury was from soccer. I was asked if I felt "safe" in my home situation. If I have ever been abused (ok, I assume they mean recently, rather than 13 years ago, right?) If I'd feel more comfortable talking about this with a female. What my living situation was. Whether I was in a relationship that others disapproved of and what those reasons were. What are all those bruises on my legs from. (Other weeks of soccer. My gosh, I play soccer. I get kicked. I'm pretty physical playing. Shocker I know - I'm in the emergency room because I thought I could take out a guy at least a head taller than me and 50 pounds heavier than me.) And I kept saying, "I live alone with two cats. I'm not dating anyone. I'm just physical and bruise easily. The answers won't change with a female." And this went on for about 20 minutes while I was having the regular evaluation. Then, when I was waiting for the barium to take effect, a nurse came in and I literally got a "come to Jesus" speech. (I've GIVEN that speech before to clients; it totally wasn't necessary.) If you would have been there, you'd have loved it.

Oh, and my nurse was friggin' hot. Nurses should not be hot. Though because of that, I tried to forgive him for sticking me with a needle for hours because of that. And we commiserated about the fact that this is our final stand with the 20s. (He was about 2 weeks older than me.)

And a few things that sucked. First, I had to drink 26 oz of barium. Has anyone ever had to drink that? Seriously? It was the most disgusting thing that I've ever tasted, and I had to QUICKLY down the entire 26 oz. Like a shot that never ended - but not as tasty as the shot. And that was the ONLY thing I had to drink all day long. No joke. It was disgusting. AND I had a needle in my arm the entire time. Well, actually, the plastic was in my arm, so they wouldn't have to poke me a second time. We already know how I feel about needles. Even when hot nurses are the ones to put them in.

Now, I'm off to bed. I have some vicodin. And I'm supposed to take that with 800 mg of ibuprofen. Hmm, perhaps I should add some alcohol too...

Oh, and no, I didn't get back in time for etiquette training. I was at the emergency room (well, doctor then emergency room) for 7 hours. I'm totally busted tomorrow. :(

And for those wondering, I went to my softball game today, but didn't play. (I just went in case they didn't have enough girls. Since they did, I just kept score.) And I'm not cleared to play football Saturday. But if I'm able to breathe without pain, and will "take it lightly" and probably "should" tape my ribs, I should be able to play on Wednesday. They said that the whiplash should be gone by then, so I'd be able to turn my head. (Score!) I have a follow-up for the concussion ("are you sure that you haven't hit your head today as well? That's a long time for a concussion.") So...it's been a great day for me. Hope it has been for you all too!!

Oh, and happy Friday the 13th.

11 Comments:

  • At 11:28 PM, Blogger estarz said…

    I think they are forced under current laws to ask those questions. My wife was in an hospital ER a few months ago...stuck in one of those rooms where you only have a curtain seperating patients. You can hear every whisper..let alone everything else. The next patient over was a lil girl. Her parents explained to the Nurses and Dr. that she had a little pain "down there". So they ran tests...blah blah...finally in the end the head nurse asked the parents to step out. She proceeded to ask the lil girl questions like "have your parents..mom or dad touched you in anyway?" She repeated the same question in different words a few times. Tried her best to make the patient feel comfy...like a friend and told her she didnt have to fear anything. When the parents returned back...the girl told them everything. They were in shock and were making fun of the entire episode!

     
  • At 7:24 AM, Anonymous JasonB said…

    Ouch! That sounds pretty rough.

    Are you sure you're okay at home? Is there anything you want to tell us? :D hehe

    They actually gave you a "coem to jesus" speech"...you're kidding right? If I ever have to go to the emergency room and some nurse starts telling me to come to Jesus, unless I've had a leg cut off I'm walking out.

    Ugh. I don't think people have any right to do that unless you are in a church or other place of worship where that might be okay.

    But then again I'm a godless heathen. ;)

    Get well soon!

     
  • At 7:41 AM, Anonymous Jennie said…

    I think it is important that they ask DV-related questions, but it also is surreal when you are truthfully saying "no" and they don't believe you. (And also when you're explaining why you're not pregnant, and they don't believe you...) (Although I'm sure they also run across women in denial about both issues.)

    I hope you feel better soon.

    Tragic, about missing the etiquette training. I think that being in the emergency room with multiple injuries is a pretty good excuse, however.

     
  • At 10:15 AM, Blogger Dennis! said…

    Wow, I hope you feel better soon! Those sound like some nasty injuries.

    But having a hot nurse work on you probably made it more bearable. It's worse when you have a hot doctor and you can't stop staring at him. While he's asking you stuff about your medical history.

     
  • At 10:28 AM, Blogger Matthew said…

    Ouch, Stephanie.

    I'm sorry you got so beat-up. Maybe it's best to lay-off the sports for awhile, at least until you recover?

    Sorry to hear about the cyst, too. Those are typically pretty harmless. You should be fine.

    Hang in there, kid. :-)

     
  • At 12:10 PM, Blogger EasyW said…

    Wow, that's brutal. But you sound like one tough cookie. Do not mix the viocdin with alcohol - you have to be seriously careful with that stuff.

     
  • At 12:57 PM, Blogger p.p. said…

    Holy crap, Stephanie. This is why I don't participate in organized sports. That, and the fact that I have two left feet (and beer belly).

    Hope you get well soon!!

     
  • At 2:27 PM, Blogger Jen said…

    Wow!!! That is unreal!

    I thought for sure you had a car accident when I read about your injuries!

    Sending you get well wishes!

     
  • At 10:52 PM, Blogger estarz said…

    Hope U R feeling better!!

     
  • At 11:45 PM, Blogger Jen(nifer) said…

    I dunno Stephanie I was at your house last weekend and Duncan was being a tad bit ferocious...

    ;)

    I love you, hang in there...and LISTEN to your doctor please be careful, you know the best part of your team is getting to drink afterwards...

    Oh and male nurse makes crush #? 27?

     
  • At 12:06 PM, Anonymous Caren said…

    Ouch!!!!

    Situations like is why I don't play contact sports, well that and my doctor won't let me. Long story.

    Hope you feel better!

    Glad to hear you got some good drugs out of it all.

     

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