So evidently I’m going to learn to drink while holding my pinky in the appropriate place and learn to smile at bad jokes rather than my current "are you stupid" face I usually go with. Seriously. On Thursday, I have to attend a half-day Professional Etiquette Program. As it was explained to me, I will learn "basic business etiquette (verbal diplomacy; non verbal etiquette; handshaking; visual image; business card presentation; tipping; corporate telephone manners; gender etiquette; voice mail/email etiquette; grooming; business dress, casual vs. formal introductions; suite entertainment; role of company ambassador; cell phone/blackberry use; smoking etiquette."

I was even warned not to mock this. This will be a challenge for me, as my main goal in life is to mock things, even things that I like. It's a sign of affection in my work. Unfortunately, "I am sure ... you believe that this program will be of absolutely no use to you. That you already know everything there is to know about functioning in a professional and courteous manner. Simply put, attend anyway. That way, when its done, you can impress me and everyone else with your stories about how you could have taught the class better!"

Well...ok then. First, I have no illusions that I know all about functioning in a professonal and curteous manner. In fact, I'm pretty sure that this entire course was scheduled solely for me. And wanna bet that my tongue ring and business dress (or lack thereof) are addressed in this training?

I’d love to be in Alaska right now. I love the sun. Of course, winter there would suck. But I can get into summer...

Via Eden:

Your Political Profile

Overall: 10% Conservative, 90% Liberal

Social Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

How Liberal / Conservative Are You?

And for the Clevelanders, check out the Forbes List of Best Places to Live. Cleveland was #14 in Culture and Leisure...Thanks to Really Bad Cleveland Accent for the link.

But is anyone else disturbed that there is a list of the