15 Things I'd Answer If I Were Asked

So everyone has those "100 Things About Me" lists. Well, at least Erin and Jen, my blogging mentors, both have them. But I can’t think of 100 Interesting Things About Me. I can’t even half myself and come up with 50 Things. So...there goes that idea. So then, in my unpackingness, I'm finding all sorts of fun stuff (obviosuly), including my books of questions. And a light bulb went off, like a cartoon, and I thought, "hell, I can answer questions. That’s giving my opinion. There ain’t nothing I like more than giving my opinion to people who don’t want it." And so, here we start...I do about 10-20 at a time. Because I don't want to prepare for trial, and I have to be at work for the rest of my life anyway, and because I really need my Ritalin. ;-)

1. For a person you loved deeply, would you be willing to move to a distant country knowing there would be little chance of seeing your friends or family again? No. I would ultimately resent that person, which is not fair to either of us. I care too much about my friends and family to know I’d never get to see them again. Some people are made of that type of stuff. I’m not. Sorry.

2. Do you believe in ghosts and evil spirits? Would you be willing to spend a night alone in a remote house that is supposedly haunted? Yes and yes. I absolutely believe in ghosts and evil spirits, and I’d love to spend the night in a haunted house, even though the black shadow scared the shit out of me when I was 17 and when I talk about it, I still get tears in my eyes. It was, without a doubt, the scaredestness I’ve ever been.

3. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet? This is hard, b/c the one thing I’d want to communicate, I maintain that have before. Indirectly. If you read through the lines. And were a mind reader. And knew me extremely well. And understand me. So I guess that I’d have to be more direct, even though in my opinion, it’s obvious. And I haven’t been clearer before because I’m a wimp afraid of getting hurt. Satisfied now? Bloody bastards.

4. If you could spend one year in perfect happiness but afterwards would remember nothing of the experience would go do so? I not, why not? No. See me earlier post on Alzheimer’s. That’s hell to me. Nothing is worth that. Even a year of perfect happiness. Besides, from The Last Unicorn, men don’t always know when they are happy. It’s usually in hindsight that I realized I was content. So taking away that hindsight, you might as well take away the experience.

5. If a new medicine were developed that would cure arthritis, but case a fatal reaction in 1% of those who took it, would you want it to be released to the public? Gosh, 1% isn’t that much, but the seriousness of "fatal" is. I think I would go with no in this case. Arthritis is painful at times, but there are already things that lessen that pain. It’s an easier answer for something like cancer or even MS. But not arthritis. And I apologize to all who suffer from it. My knees have a minor case. But it ain't worth it. 

6. You discover that your wonderful one-year-old child is, because of a mix up at the hospital, not yours. Would you want to exchange the child to try to correct the mistake? No, but I would want to be involved in my biological child’s life and have my child’s biological parents also involved in my child’s life. But after 52 weeks, 365 days of bonding, I could not give my child up, even for DNA.

7. Do you think the world will be a better or worse place 100 years from now? Worse. I guess that makes my cynical, and I’ve been accused of being an idealist, so what does that say. And I don’t even mean things like the economy, environment, keeping people alive by machine, disease, or anything like that. But the simple things. I can drive down the road and not see any kids outside. When I was young, I was always outside. We played soccer, baseball, football in the streets, moving as the cars would drive down the street. (In fact, I’ve got the scare to prove it.) There are no more late night games of Ghost in the Graveyard. No Hide And Seek. It’s like the Lee Pits article, Things I Wish For You. The fact that kids don’t PLAY anymore, that’s worse. Technology makes things better.

Things I Wish For You - Lee Pits
We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I'd like better.
I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would.
I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.
I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.
And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.
It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.
I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.
I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room,but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him.
When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him/her.
I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.
On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.
If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.
I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.
When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.
I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy\girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.
May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.
I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it. And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend.
I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.
May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.
I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Hannukah/Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.
These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.

8. Would you rather be a member of a world championship sports team or be the champion of an individual sport? What sport would you choose? Team. I love people. And baseball. Or football. But probably baseball (I’m afraid of getting hit too hard in football.) I love baseball. Especially if I get to choose the team and my teammates. Then I could meet Jody Gerut and be in heaven.

9. Would you accept $1,000,000 to leave this country and never set foot in it again? Absolutely not. First, who would challenge the country to get better then? Second, how would I retire? More than anything else, I want to retire and travel around the country in a Winnebago like in Travels with Charlie. That’s my dream. And $1,000,000 isn’t worth giving up my dream. Screw that, I’ll make $1,000,000 on my own.

10. Which sex do you think has it easier in our culture? Have you ever wished you were the opposite sex? Well, in terms of getting free drinks and stuff like that, women. But in terms of career, men. In terms of being able to balance career and personal lives, men. I am not sure I ever wished I was the opposite sex though. Though I do recall that in high school, I had penis envy. We had a group of about 15 or 20 people. Four girls, and the rest were guys. So when we were all together, it was ok, but every so often, the guys would do male bonding, and we were so jealous. What were they doing? Why couldn’t we go? We were like one of the guys, right? Evidently, though we were like one of the guys, there were things that we were not invited to do.

11. You are given the power to kill people simply by thinking of their deaths and twice repeating the word "goodbye." People would die a natural death and no one would suspect you. Are there situations in which you would use this power? No never. (Uncrosses fingers.) Yes, I would. This is a bad question, because I’m hot tempered, and I would use this on people that I liked. As well as the rouge people who deserve to die. But I’d be in a fight with someone over whether blue M&Ms have any appeal at all, and my Greek temper would be set off, and there would be hell to pay - literally!!

12. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the body or the mind of a 30 year old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want? Sugar, this is not fun. We’ve again discussed my fear of Alzheimer’s, and this would be like a "cure" for me. But the problem is, staying with yourself at 30, and all your beliefs and prejudices, doesn’t let you grow any at all. And I want to grow, I just don’t want to forget what I grew from. So I’m really torn with whether my fear of forgetting is going to make me stay stagnant for 60 years. That’s pretty awful too. Fudge. I want to skip this one, because I honestly can’t imagine which is worse.

13. What would constitute a perfect evening for you? First, it's summertime. And baseball on the radio in the background, campfire burning (with S’mores, naturally), somewhere where the lulling of a river can be heard (maybe a chance to walk in the water), with some drinks and someone I love and we discuss all the interesting things in life (politics, philosophy, sports, religion, movies, current events, family, growing up, favorite everythings, biggest mistakes and worst regrets) all night long until the sun came up. (Or, it's wintertime and football is on in the background, and there is a fire in the fireplace burning, still with the S'mroes, and there is still drinks and someone I love and good conversation. And in the window, there is snowfall. But the lack of the running water makes it less perfect. And football is usually afternoon and they want evening.) But oh, and if we’re going for perfection, Jody Gerut is there too... ;-)

14. Would you rather be extremely successful professionally and have a tolerable yet unexciting private life, or have an extremely happy private life and only a tolerable and uninspiring professional life? Geesh, I have a tolerable and uninspiring professional life, but because it takes so much time to have that life, I also have a tolerable yet unexciting private life. You mean one of them is supposed to be rewarding? Who knew? I am not sure about this. I would like to think that I’d go for the private life, but then if I felt like a failure and pride would kick in (one of my worst sins probably), I’d probably want the professional life, and then I’d be miserable and want to go back to the private life. This is my problem in life. I don't know what I want. I am a walking contradiction. I'm an enigma wrapped inside a puzzle inside a mystery, not because I try to be, but because I have no friggin' idea what I want in life. What I want to be when I grow up. Who I want to be when I grow up. When this mysterous "growing up" occurs. I'm off topic. I do that. Hmm...I would rather be extremely.

15. Whom do you admire most? In what way does that person inspire you? You know, I bet that I once could answer this questions, but now I can’t. And it’s not that I don’t think that there are admirable people in the world anymore, it’s that I am not sure I’m inspired anymore. And you thought I was going to say Jody Gerut, didn't you??