It's the end of the world as we know it...

Politics, philosophy, the law, current events, left leaning debates, religion, baseball, football, pop culture, growing up Greek, random events in my life...whatever hits my mind at the time.

29.8.05

First of all, my no booze rule lasted all the way until Saturday night. Congratulate me - I lasted 6 whole days before I fell off the wagon. That's a record or something, right?? And keep in mind that there was temptation along the way: I was at the bar with my friends on Sunday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday without succumbing. Hey, I deserve a medal or something, right? How about buying me a congratulatory drink??

Second, I woke up Saturday morning famished. But with absolutely no food in my house. So, of course, I went to Costco. Now for those not from here, or who don't know the genius of Costco, you may think, "I would have gone to the grocery store." Ahh, yes, but one does not go to Costco on Saturdays to shops. (Although I do quite well at that as well.) One goes to Costco b/c they have all the free samples... I LOVE the Soy Crisp Minis they had samples of. I, in fact, had to purchase a box.* I highly recommend them to all.
*"A box" at Costco = 20 packs.

Third, there was a guy Friday night wearing a shirt that said, "Keep staring. I might do a trick." Not that thus guy was my type at all, but the shirt was funny. I love fun t-shirts. I collect them myself. I went up to him and asked him to do a trick. He gives me this look that said, "did you ride the short bus to school?" I point at his shirt. He looks down, turns red, and mutters that he doesn't do tricks. Steadfastly refused. Umm...you've got a girl asking you to do tricks. She is with three other girls who want you to do a trick. And you refuse? Smooth. Two words: FALSE ADVERTISING!

Fourth, and yet another reason why men suck. Consider it advice or something. When you are out with a girl, do not not not hit on one of her friends. That makes you an asshole.

Fifth, (and I'm hesitant to tell this story because my parents now know of my blog, courtesy of The Plain Dealer), I went commando for the second time in about a week. This time, rather than at a wedding reception (sorry Susan) to tease my date - and I completely wasn't taken advantage of, but that's another story - it was to my softball game. See, last week, the captain of the team made a comment at the bar after the game that he didn't care if the girls on his team can play softball, as long as they are attractive. He then said that the girls should be wearing miniskirts. So two of the other girls and I ordered maroon skirts (I'm sorry, but they had to match the uniforms. Yellow with maroon lettering.) These things were too short to wear spandex underneath, and too tight to really get away with underwear. So...you see my issue. Of course, the real issue is that they were too short to also bend over and feel secure...thank God play outfield. I have no idea how the one girl, playing catcher, did it. Then again, we did get a few calls our way... (And we won both games.) Still, I learned that I much prefer going commando on a date than trying to play a sport wearing a skirt. I mean, yes, it was warm outside so the breeze was nice, but at the same time, you are running and hitting and all sorts of things that you are totally self conscious about the entire time.

Right before the game started, the ump asked if they were skorts, and we said no. He asked us not to slide into the bases. Spoilsport. (I didn't have the heart to tell him that we - or at least I - wasn't wearing underwear (the other two were wearing boys shorts, I don't own any, and wearing regular underwear, lines showed.))

The two teams before our game, then our team and the opposing team, and the two teams after our game, all saw us. At first it was fun (I do love attention) but then it got self conscious. Every time we had to get our gloves off the bench, reach for the bat on the ground, went for the ball, ran, or batted, we were stared at. (The last two didn't occur to me would be difficult until they were.) Other guys made a few comments to the guys on our team, like we weren't there and couldn't hear (umm...boys, we DO have ears...But I guess the comments were positive, so what the hell? Most often heard, "way to go" (umm...the GIRLS are wearing the skirts, why are you making that comment to the guys??) and "How did that happen? [And when they were told we were being smartasses] We're not complaining at all.") Still, it was quite enjoyable overall, both for the laughs of it (which is what we were going for), and for the sheer fact that for more than two hours, every guy on the field and in the stands was staring at us (you know, that hadn't even occurred to me, we just throught we'd be funny to OUR team b/c of the comments last week). So yeah, it was a good time, but I'm not sure I'd do it next week...)

I then went to a VIP party at Shooters for Bicardi Big Apple something or other. Basically, we get two free drinks, and we get to try this new apple Bicardi, and all the Cleveland alcoholics drinking on Sunday night were there. Fantastic. Of course, I was wearing a softball shirt, my miniskirt, and was all gross and dusty and disgusting from playing 2 hours in the sun, but still, who can turn down free drinks? Especially as I had falled off the wagon the night before anyway, right?

Finally, I mentioned this once already, but since I was told I was being unreasonable, I'm asking some advice of my own (mostly from the men here) as to whether a comment was an insult or not. I was talking to a friend the other night. This friend has called me "overeducated" (not a compliment) and asked me to "dumb down" in the past. So the other night, he told me that he likes me, "in spite of my mind." I take a little offense to the comment, and he "assured" me that when he first saw me, he only wanted my body and "didn't care if I had a mind or not." And even if I were to let that go, he continued that he'd be "just as happy if I had a lobotomy." Insulting! My best feature is my mind, if I do say so myself.

Anyway, I expressed that I was irritated and angry with him. He told me that *I* was in the wrong for taking offense. That I had no sense of humor. How could I not consider it a compliment, along the lines of "aww, he thinks I'm smart."

So my open question - is that insulting? Or not? I'm going with yes.

20 Comments:

  • At 9:24 AM, Blogger Erinna said…

    If he was saying these things just to piss you off and get a rise out of you, well, that's an entirely different story...

     
  • At 10:11 AM, Blogger Me said…

    Do I strike you as the type from whom one can easily get a rise?

    Oh, wait, yes I do...

     
  • At 10:32 AM, Blogger Matthew said…

    Of course that's insulting, and his lame-ass defense proves two things:

    1. he really is threatened by your mind, and
    2. he is a grade-A jackass.

     
  • At 12:19 PM, Blogger Jim Eastman said…

    Yeah. I'm going to go with absolutely insulting there. That's certainly not something I'd say to anyone really (male or female), and I'd be insulted if anyone said it to me.

     
  • At 12:24 PM, Blogger Eden said…

    First of all, I can't shake the image of a commando gal playing catcher in a skirt.

    Second, I'm not a man but I have to say that his repeated comments about intelligence are highly insulting. I don't think he was doing it for a rise; I think he was doing it b/c of what Matthew said: he's intimidated.

    It seems to me that he wants you to come down to his level instead of rising to yours. If he'd made one comment one time, it could be a slip-up but he says it repeatedly. Then he tries to make you feel bad? You're smarter than that. ;)

    There are too many people in this world who enjoy the company of intelligent people to stay hooked onto this guy. I would seriously start excluding him from life and say things like, "I'm going to a book reading with some friends. You wouldn't like it; it's not a pop-up." See how he likes it from your side ;)

     
  • At 12:31 PM, Blogger Tony said…

    Without really knowing you or your "friend," it's hard to say, but it sounds like a set-up for meaningless sex.

    Telling someone you're only interested in their body isn't an insult in and of itself -- but it's certainly not an expression of undying love and affection.

    To put it another way, when I was single, if I told a woman the things that this fellow has told you, it was meant to be a signal that I wasn't so much interested in getting to know her so much as getting laid.

    I know it doesn't make sense from the woman's perspective, but this is a guy's lame attempt to keep a clear conscience. ("I told you I wasn't interested in a relationship, what else do you expect.")

    Like I said, I don't know either party here, so it could be something else. Something entirely different.

     
  • At 1:47 PM, Blogger Yoga Korunta said…

    May I attend a ball game? On skirt day, of course!

     
  • At 2:18 PM, Anonymous JasonB said…

    I'd say it's pretty insulting as well, but of course I'm biased because I prefer women with actual *brains*. So maybe it's just me.

    BUt yeah, it's insulting in my book.

    Sound sliek a fun sofball game. Making me wish I lived closer to Cleveland heh (sorry, HAD to say it. I can't resist the easy comments)

     
  • At 10:05 PM, Blogger EasyW said…

    Hey Steph--

    I don't think the meathead meant to insult you, but his comments are ignorant. Even if, as Tony rightly points out, his rhetoric is a set up for some casual gravy makin.

    Nevertheless, if you want in a girl's pants, you need to get into her head. Sometimes, its the opposite with the uber-intelligent ones, like you, so maybe he was using that sorta fucked up stategy (and failed, obviously).

    Women that are smarter than men can be intimidating when dating... That said I'm less intimidated by women who are smarter than me than I am by women in positions of power (who may not necessarily that smart).

    There is some truth to being "overly educated" - though not if you're a lawyer, I guess. For the past few years, I've considered obtaining my MBA (the company would pay for it), but I just feel like my time could be better spent reaching for that brass ring. The cubicles at my salt mine are loaded with MBAs, all stuck in the same rut as me. So, in many cases, I don't see the point to just adding another pointless degree to the resume (again, there are some exceptions).

     
  • At 10:48 PM, Blogger Me said…

    See, I'm pleased that all the guts are agreeing with me then. He seriously told me that I lacked a sense of humor for not finding it funny. I appreciate it. He's actually quite intelligent himself, which is what's ironic. Eden, *I* did not play catcher - I played outfield. One of the other girls played catcher. Classic, no? :) Tony, I've nrvrt indicated to him that I'm interested in a relationship. In fact, I'd suspect I'm the last person to do that. Relationships don't work so well if one of the parties involved is, well, me. Yoga, actually, the other two really want to wear the skirts next week as well, so if you are at the ballpark next week, there shall be more skirt wearing for the playoffs. We are looking to get a football team togetgher with the shortstop from the other team last week - I assured him that we do not wear skirts as a general rule but we were being smartasses... Oh, and easyw, that's exactly it, how overeducated can I be if law school is a requirement to being a lawyer?? Then again, on my list of things to do before I die are get my PhD in History and Philosophy, just to have. (Though I'd ultimately love to teach one or both.) I'm about 4 classes towards my history masters, 2 classes towards my english master, and 1 class towards my philosaophy masters. But I do love school and learning.

     
  • At 11:46 PM, Blogger EasyW said…

    You can learn without pursuing a degree - experience is wisdom.

     
  • At 12:03 AM, Blogger Sarah said…

    Just last month, I was going to retire my drunk self indefinitely. It, too, lasted 6 days. I had mixed boys and booze, but when I drank again, I was hanging out with women and gay men, so I figured I was safe. And, I realized I just had to be more careful about my shot intake rather than give booze (or boys) up for good.

    Fun t-shirts, you say?

    As for the comment, I can see where the guy wouldn't think it would be insulting and I can see why you thought it did (especially the lobotomy comment). Still, it was really stupid of him to say.

     
  • At 8:17 AM, Blogger Me said…

    Sarah, t-shirts. Nice! And I'm glad that I was at least able to match your 6 day record of retiring your drunk self. Gay men are quite fun to hang out with. And that's the thing - I really think in his mind, it wasn't the insult that I took it as.

    Easyw, the point is, I enjoy learning in a classroom setting. I could read on my own the same textbooks and treatises, but the fact is, I then miss out on the discussion of the ideas. The entire atmosphere of a classroom is quite intoxicating to me. Reading books written hundreds of years ago (like my philosophy books) or analyzing something that happened hundreds of years ago (my history books) and then discussing the ideas in a forum. It's inspiring to me. And "experience" is good, and in many ways it's the best teacher, but I like objective learning as well - and experience is never objective. And I *want* the degrees in philosophy and history. I always have.

     
  • At 10:56 AM, Blogger Yoga Korunta said…

    Attire from tshirthell says "I only support gay marriage if both chicks are hot!"

     
  • At 9:16 PM, Blogger EasyW said…

    I once saw a hot chick wearing a shirt that said "I'm not gay, but my girlfriend is".

    Steph--OK, I dig. I find discussion of subjects like philosophy to be arbitrary. BUt then again, I'm a total asshole. What do I know? Well, I did go to OU, so I know how to party!

     
  • At 9:50 PM, Blogger Me said…

    Easy, I've seen that t-shirt before. And I've seen it in reverse ("I'm not gay, but my boyfriend is.") I adore philosophy. Have since high school. I don't think that lack of interest in such things makes you an asshole. It just makes you not interested in philsophy. I'm sure you have other interests. And anyway, Madison Wisconsin are the big partiers... :)

     
  • At 12:53 PM, Blogger Matthew said…

    And anyway, Madison Wisconsin are the big partiers... :)

    Damn Right! Don't you forget it!

    Matthew
    UW Class of 2002
    UW JD Candidate 2006

     
  • At 1:40 PM, Anonymous Keith said…

    It was insulting. Love the softball story...

     
  • At 9:21 AM, Anonymous irish said…

    first, i have to say, i found you compliments of the pdq. i admitt, i have become a pdq whore, waiting all week just for that one tiny section of the trash dealer.

    second, any asshole who says you need to "dumb yourself down," more than likely has a small wanker to go along with his isty bisty pea-sized brain. i just love when they use lines such as this! because, of course, i have spent numerous years of my life continuing my education for the sole purpose of making you feel like less of a man...i have nothing better to do with my time. i mean, it's not like i would, for once, actually be spending the time (and resources) doing something i *want* to do for myself.

    ho-hum. carry on.

     
  • At 2:11 AM, Blogger Me said…

    Matthew, so does that mean that you are a partier.
    Thanks for agreeing Keith, and I'm glad that you enjoyed the story. (Today at the bar we tried to ask our captian to tell him some of the things that the other guys were saying to him (we just heard a little) but he wouldn't say to much.
    Irish, a PDQ whore, huh? That's ok, you aren't my parents. Or my work. See the distinction? And again, thanks for agreeing. As I didn't even know him when I started school, I can't imagine that he thinks that I did it to make him feel less of a man - but you get the point! :)

     

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