So want to hear funny? I've never been hung over. All I know about hang overs is that people who are hung over make comments like, "Oh, I feel like shit." So when I woke up and was dizzy on Wednesday, I assumed I was still drunk. And when I felt like shit that sfternoon, I assumed that I was hung over. That makes sense, right?

What no one explained to me was that being hung over wouldn't make your throat sore to swallow. I knew that hung over people couldn't eat. I couldn't eat. But it wasn't because I wasn't hungry or couldn't keep food down, my tonsils were so swollen and white that I literally could not swallow. Evidently, that is different. My body still hurt, I wasn't able to concentrate, I had a headache - all these are symptoms of a hangover, right? Especially when you drank a bit the evening before.

I'm slow, not stupid. When I woke up on Thursday still dizzy, and I had a bigger headache, my body was even more sore, and my throat hurt even more, I realized that I wasn't hungover, I was sick. This is bad because when one is sick on Thanksgiving, they cannot eat (or enjoy) Thanksgiving dinner. And I didn't want to make my family sick. I tried to be social but I felt awful. At one point, the world started spinning and I had to lay down. Not really the best way to spend Thanksgiving.

Friday was the biggest shopping day of the year. So of course, I spent it as far away from stores as I could. Actually, I had to work. But even if I didn't have to work, there isn't anythink in the world that would have convinced me to go to the malls. Ugh! My sublings both work in retail while they are in school. and they had to deal with people. I'm sorry, those "door buster" sales where they want you at the stores at 5 am - are you kidding me?? I don't care how good the sale.

I played football Saturday and really hurt my thumb. I also hurt my knee, but I'm used to that (it was bending the wrong way. Yes, that's somewhat normal. Disgusting, no?) It was freezing Saturday. Freezing! The 9 am and 10 am games were miserable. We had a BBQ during our off our, then it started to get warmer for the 12 game. At the 1 game, it was actually warm. I started taking off some of the 8 (yes, 8) layers of shirts that I was wearing. Once that sun came out, it was really warm!

Then, last night I went to Howl At The Moon. Where I haven't been in forever. A college friend came to visit me and we treked out there. Unfortunately, Rich, who sings my It's The End Of The World wasn't there. I asked Matt (one of the other players) if anyone else knew it. He assumed me that T knew it. (The one with the RuPaul earrings from last summer, but he wasn't wearing them yesterday. He later told me that he stopped wearing it. I can see why - RuPaul literally had the same dangly earring. I'd be scared to wear it too.) :)

AND Billy no longer works there. Oh, the shock!! Still, they sing fun 80s music and it's happy. I just didn't have anyone to lust after. Sadly, I know.

And now, I work...

When one is having a bad day, one should never start to drink. The day will not end well. Yesterday constitutes a "not good day." Therefore, it makes perfect sense for me to have five glasses of wine, some Tropical Punch drink created by Rob (the bartender) and two or three (I stopped being able to count) sex on the dryer drinks. (I have no idea what that was, but it was yummy, so if anyone is at D'Vine, as for that.)

I had plans to go to happy hour with my football team even before I started having a bad day. But "a drink" and "several drinks" are two different things. I was totally unable to drive home. Thankfully, my friend drove me home AND picked my ass up this morning and drove me to work. Aww...

And a text message was sent to a certain boy. It said, "I'm sure you know by now, but I am into you, we should go out sometime. Call me."

This to me is forward and direct, and invites a response. Even if the response is, "are you f-ing kidding me? I'm not interested!"

However, he didn't respond. So my ego is wounded (this is the same boy who wounded my ego a while back, so at least multiple boys aren't wounding my pride.)

Rob, the bartenderm told me that if he was not into me, he was clearly gay. (I think the bartender just liked me b/c I was wearing a low cut shirt. That's ok, I've been liked for worse reasons.)

And I woke up at 6 am still somewhat drunk.

I went to Target last night. There were people liked out outside ready for the new Nintendo 360. It was freezing last night. Idiots. I make fun of those 5 am day after Thanksgiving shoppers too. There isn't a sale in the world that gets me up and at a store at that time.

Driving in this am, the wind was blowing quite hard, and watching the waves crash into the rocks (and sometimes onto the shoreways!) was awesome. (Yes, I was doing that when I should have been watching the road...) But seriously, it was great. I love going by the lake whent he wind is whipping like that. It takes days to get all the knots out of my hair, but at the same time, it's totally worth it. I'm one of those awful people who, when driving a convertible, likes to stand and have the wind blow at me. Same with a moon roof (or is a sun roof, I can never tell the difference). I know, I know, it's dangerous, so don't tell the police. They'll watch out for me then, and we can't have that.

I need a drink...

You know what I meant to tell you yesterday and I forgot to? Go read Christopher Moore's Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal. My friend lent it to me and it is hysterical. Lines are just thrown out. For example, two angels talking:

Angel 1: Bring me back some chocolate.
Angel 2: Chocolate?
Angel 1: You''ll like it. Satan invented it.
Angel 2: Devil's food?
Angel 1: You can only eat so much white cake.

(Think about it for a moment. I said the line to someone and got a blank look.) Check the book out. For reals. It's classic. It's the lost years of Jesus.

And this story is too priceless. Understand, I am a horoscope type of girl. The "What's your sign" line probably would have worked on my back in the day when it was popular. I love reading my horoscope. In fact, I read it and try to interpret it (with the help of two of my friends) on a daily basis. I mean, how else does one make decisions in life? Rely solely on the Magic 8 Ball? But anyway, read this story. The best part:

Thai Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra has said that he will not answer reproters' questions until after next year because the alighment of the planets is not in his favor.

"Right now Mercury ... is in a corner perfectly aligned with my star. Mercury is no good, so if it's not good, I am going to request not to speak. I'll just wait until next year to talk," Thaksin told reporters Sunday after returning to Bangkok from a trip to South Korea and China.

He added that Mercury moves slowly and will not steer clear of his star until next year.

How classic is that? Can I refuse to work when Mercury does a number on me?

Ohio State/Michigan. I went to the Dive Bar. I got there around 11 - my friends were there around 10. Do you have any idea how dangerous that is, to start drinking when that early in the am? (Though it makes for an early night usually - people are rather drunk and tired by 6 and there is no way they are making it all night until 2 am.)

But it was a great place to watcth the game. The atmosphere was awesome. At least if you were an OSU fan. (How many times can drunk 20-30 somethings sing, "Hang on Sloopy." Oh, and can I just say that whatever else, Jim Tressel is a god. 4-1 vs Michigan. They have no power over whether they will get a BSC berth, but I suspect that they will. They certainly did nothing yesterday to hurt that (other than special teams and turnovrs), and their two losses came to the team ranked #1/2 and by the co-champs of the Big 10. On the road. I think they should go. But as I said, OSU has no power over that. (I would like to tell everyone that as a matter of fact, I did not drink at the bar. At all.)

Harry Potter left out so much. It was driving my crazy. I understand why - the book was way too long. But oh my gosh, that was evil. And someone told me it was 3 hours long; it was clearly much less.

I was told that I must update my blog b/c a blog must be updated everyday. I'm sorry - I don't have time to do that. Though I will humor you today...

The State of the City Address on Wednesday was nice, though I was (again) unimpressed and uninspired by Frank Jackson. Shock, I know. Earlier that day, I was a runaway slave doing a reenactment of the underground railroad at Hale Farm and Village. We had to sign a waiver: "During the program, I will be portraying the part of a figitive slave in the year 1852. This program is designed to smulate the xperiences of a typical fugitive slave, and includes the use of aggressive language and intimidation. Mild profanity may be used. At no time will visitors ever be in physical danger." First, I wasn't allowed to look anyone in the eye, so when I went to the State of the City, I had to remind myself I was now allowed to look people in the eye because I wasn't slave in 1852. It was very confusing for someone like me. Second, because I came from running around Hale Farm in the mud, I was wearing jean and sneakers. I didn't have time to get home before I went to the State of the City Address. Needless to say, I was the only person there in jeans. Awesome. Luciky, I really don't care.

Last night, the dumbest thing that I did all day was go out to play soccer. It was in the 20s when I played, and I actually played two games. I was dressed in so many layers it wasn't even funny. I had on two layers of socks, two layers of pants, five layers of shirts (all grey, which is our team color), a hat, gloves, a scarf. I looked ridiculous. Abslutely ridiculous. And it didn't even work that much. The first game I felt ok, playing forward and running around and whatnot. The second game I was playing defense and I was absolutely freezing. I couldn't warm up no matter what, and it actually hurt my foot when I kicked the ball. I tell you, soccer was not meant to be played in the snow when it's 25 degrees out. Do you have any idea what it feels like when that cold, hard ball his your? And two guys were actually playing in shorts. They were INSANE. I mean, I'm questionably certifiable b/c I play in the fall session, but two two guys in shorts were INSANE.

I went out with two guys on the other team again, one of the guys on my softball team, and four of my friends. It was an odd mixing, but that's ok. I do think that we scared the two guys from the other team. My friends and I can be a bit...much...when we get together, I guess.

Tonight, I am going to see Harry Potter. I am such a dork, I know. :) I also bought Rent tickets for February. It's my favorite musical. In fact, the other day I had the music going through my head. It's sad when I can hear the entire musical in my head and don't even need my iPod to do it. I have problems, don't I? (Oh, that can be answered on so many levels...)

However, I was specifically asked to help Veronica Mars. Why such a great show needs help s beyond me. Americans are stupid. (I say this like, after all this time, it actually surprises me.) My friend told me to tell everyone that this week's Veronica may very well have been the best one ever. I am not sure if that's true, but any time that I have lots of Logan, I'm happy. Really, he is *such* an asshole. I adore him. I still maintain that he is the best character on television.

NEXT week's looks like it will be awesome though. "Watch Veronica Mars, Wednesdays at 9:00, UPN (yes, I know it's on opposite Lost. Either Tivo it, or watch it instead. Trust me. Please."

I own a 12 inch Yoda Pex dispenser. I can feel the jealousy radiating even over the computer...

I've evidently disappointed a lot of people. Shocking, I know. But in the last day, I've gotten three emails demanding to know where I was. I'm loved, I really am. (More likely you have nothing better to do at work, but I'll take what I can get.) I'm not dead. I'm not kidnapped by Republicans. Not trapped under something heavy. I'm just a loser.

So what's my excuse. I could give some sort of "washing my hair" excuse, but really, I've been busy. Thus the lack of Stephanie-ness.

The Bon Jovi concert last Tuesday flat out rocked. I was exhausted - I had been up until 3.30 am working the night before. But it was a great concert. My favorite was there he sang Always, but it was done not the way he sings it on the album, and it was so awesome. So full of emotion. And I'm sorry, but regardless of whether he is 40, Bon Jovi is f-ing hot.

Wednesday I had a NCCJ business dinner/awards ceremony. Have you ever noticed that the meals at such events is always chicken? And chicken is some sort of unidentifiable sauce at that. I don't get it. I want to introduce them to other main dishses. Business awards dinners, meet beef. Or fish. But perhaps that's where the expression, "tastes like chicken" comes from? It *is* all chicken and whoever came up with the expression was too stupid to realize that.

Thursday was somewhat random. After playing in my two soccer games, I agreed to go out for drinks with the other team. Because my team was being lame. Have I mentioned the dirty team before? That's them. But they seem perfectly nice. I don't even remember which two it was from last season that made me call them the dirty team. But they were going out, and I do love my alcohol. So I tagged along. That was perfectly fun, and the one just might have out dorked me (it was close; I refuse to concede!) The only problem with being social with one's enemies is that I had a 6.30 am meeting on Friday (which, by the way, is ungodly. 6.30 AM I mean.) You now, I am uncapable of functioning that early in the am. And as I don't drink caffeine, that wasn't going to help. (I would have killed for some coke. I don't mean that as bad as it sounds.)

And then I went to DC. :) I didn't really do anything DC related. I ate out at different restaurants than I always eat out at here. I went shopping (my friends have come to the consensus that they hate my clothes. It's actually quite funny, b/c it started with two, and I'll mention it to someone else, and they'll say, "oh, me too." It's even funnier b/c my clothes are plain t-shirts. How does one hate plain t-shirts? Alas...) I went to seem my cousin, who lives in DC. I think he enjoys me b/c I'm crazy. And I mean that in the best way possible. Whenever anyone talks to me, they immediately feel better about their own lives. I have that effect on people. I suspect it's because of the mess I've made of my own life, but whatever.

But I should not be left to my own devices. So when talking to a couple of friends today about the type of guy that I should be with. Money quip: "In Stephanie's case, I think at least one person in every relationship should believe in gravity." I guess I agree that differences of opinion are good in a relationship.

OH! Arrested Development. One word to Fox: BOOOOOOO!

Tomorrow I am participating in a reenactment of the Underground Railroad at Hale Farm. It should be interesting. And of course, at night is the 2005 Northeast Ohio Top 25 Under 35: Movers and Shakers Awards & 2nd Annual State of the Young Professional City Address. It's being held at The Club at Key Center starting at 6.30. Everyone should try to make it if possible. It should be really interesting. And I'll be there, what else should mater. :)

Oh, and speaking of me, which I can do without impunity because this is my space to ramble in, when the times comes (February) I shall make all you from Cleveland come to the Easter Seals Guys and Dolls Raffle. I was talked into participating (and in turn, talked my friends into participating). Which means that I have to come up with a date package (ideas accepted. And keep in mind that I may have to spend the time with a sketchy 60 year old or something, so I'm hesitant on the overnight ideas) and whatnot. All the money goes to charity, but for those who know me, this is really taking me OUT of my comfort zone. So you will all be forced to come so that I will have someone to ramble to about how this isn't fun at all and how freaked out I am You can even try to win my friends. (I won't force you to raffle for me. Listening to me ramble on a blog is more than enough. Can you imagine me off online?)

Poor pig. :(

And I'm not sure if this is love or stupidity? Opinions?

Weekends are always fun. There should be more weekends in life. Monday is such a terrible way to spent 1/7 of your life. In fact, even Sunday nights can suck. The anticipation and all. But not a good sort of anticipation. The "aww, shit" kind. Maybe that's why they have Desperate Housewives on Sundays? We are all desperate b/c the workweek is about to start? (Though last night did not suck; I went out to dinner to one of my favorite restaurants with my soccer team and harassed the cute waiter, who was somewhat overwhelmed and easily flustered, having to deal with 8 girls. We tipped well though).

Friday was typical Friday night drama. I said to my one friend, I've been relatively drama free for a while (for the most part) and I guess that I had been bottling up all that drama, and put 6 weeks of drama into one week. Mostly just a few days too. Excellent. Boy, am I tired! (Though not all the drama was mine. Official pronouncement: boys are stupid. Three girls, three boys who are stupid in three completely different ways.)

One of my oldest college friends came to visit me on Saturday. What was particularly great about that was that on Friday night, I was most depressed and felt all homesick for college and my college friends. Not that my friends here aren't great, because they are. But I need people around me who will be brutally honest with me, who will call me on my shit, and she said. The peopel who knows who I am and understand who I am working to become. (With old friends, it helps b/c they remember who I was as well.) And again, who will be honest with me and not try to spare my feelings because they don't want to hurt me.

So she came up here Saturday afternoon. We went to the football game (we lost. Shocker, I know. Though we played close. The score was 15-15 with 4 minutes left; they scored and we had about 45 seconds left but we were unable to score in that time. Though the ref gave us an extra 1 second on the clock I think. Maybe not, but it was questionable.) We went to the bar afterwards during which I drank and worked myself into a state of aggitation because of men. (OK, one man in particular, but whatever.) After that we went with a group to Dave and Busters. Where I console my hurt feelings with alcohol, games, and other men. (Does innocent flirting with one man you are not interested in b/c you were rejected by another man make me a bad or evil person? Probably. But on the grand scale of "evil," am I more like Darth Vader - who ultimately turned good again - or the evil Stepmother from Snow White? To Harry Potter geek out on you, am I Malfoy, who wouldn't have killed Dumbledore, or Snape, who did kill Dumbledore? How evil am I?)

Anyway, we leave the bar when it closes, and get home at 3 am. Walk up to my door. It's locked. This is most interesting to me because, in the year and a half I've lived at my house, the door has been locked a grand total of one time. And, incidently, it's this instance.

Now, normally, this is not a problem, b/c I carry a purse, so I'm carrying my car keys, which have a house key on them that I've never used. But unfortunately, a purse didn't really go with what I was wearing (read: I wasn't in the mood to carry it) and so I had my spare car keys with me - which do not have a house key attached. Which means, no, I'm locked outside my house. Visions of never being able to get into my house again, my 17 pound cat slowely starving to death, dance in my head.

But wait! We are in a garage! My garage is full of useful things. Footballs and soccer balls and baseballs and baseball gloves. Frisbees. Gold clubs. A lawn mover. A kiddie pool. And, yes, my tool box (which actually I normally keep inside the house.)

My friend goes to work and takes a screwdriver to take the door off the hinges. I never knew this was possible, and the fact that my pretty pretty princess, foo foo (she had a dust ruffle on her bed in college!) knew how to do this scared me. If *she* can break in that easily, who else can? Umm...anyone. (Except, evidently, me.) Anyway, she gets all three of the hunges off, but we can't get the door to open that way. There isn't enough room. So we contemplate, and decide to go to my dad's. he lives 5 minutes away, so that's ok. I tell her, "he won't even know we are here until the morning."

Famous last words...

We walk in (he doesn't lock the door either - but I had his spare key in my car. Don't ask why I keep his spare key in my car, but not mine. There is no positive answer and you'll just be disappointed in me.) We walk in and immediately get attacked by dogs. I think I whispered something profound like "dogs" to my friend - as if the yipping wasn't clue enough. That speaks more of my intelligence than hers. What I meant to say was, "Why are there dogs here? My dad doesn't HAVE any dogs." Anyway, my dad's girlfriend's dogs were spending the night (so was she) and thus,t he whole house woke up. Excellent.

Lesson of the week: fuck men, I don't understand them anyway so why bother trying. And make bloody copies of your key to keep at your dads, hidden in the garage, or hidden in my car. (Or, go wild and crazy and do all three...) Here's my qusetion- does that count as last week's lesson - since it occurred on Saturday? Or can I count it as this week's lesson, since Sunday was involved??

(Oh, if you were curious, in the morning, my dad went to my house with some took and opened my door in 30 seconds. The tool he took was bent so he was able to open the door. We had done the work stuff. So all's well that ends well. Though I didn't sleep much Saturday night.)

I'm going to the Bon Jovi concert tomorrow. And I paid for it. And I'm excited for it. Oh, I set the standards of coolness quite high, don't I?

Finally, today, one of my favorite poems is speaking to me. I know I've shared in the past, but this is my blog, and I'll repeat myself if I want to.

lesson of the moth

i was talking to a moth

the other evening

he was trying to break into

an electric light bulb

and fry himself on the wires

why do you fellows

pull this stunt i asked him

because it is the conventional

thing for moths or why

if that had been an uncovered

candle instead of an electric

light bulb you would

now be a small unsightly cinder

have you no sense

plenty of it he answered

but at times we get tired

of using it

we get bored with the routine

and crave beauty

and excitement

fire is beautiful

and we know that if we get

too close it will kill us

but what does that matter

it is better to be happy

for a moment

and be burned up with beauty

than to live a long time

and be bored all the while

so we wad all our life up

into one little roll

and then we shoot the roll

that is what life is for

it is better to be a part of beauty

for one instant and then cease to

exist than to exist forever

and never be a part of beauty

our attitude toward life

is come easy go easy

we are like human beings

used to be before they became

too civilized to enjoy themselves

and before i could argue him

out of his philosophy

he went and immolated himself

on a patent cigar lighter

i do not agree with him

myself i would rather have

half the happiness and twice

the longevity

but at the same time i wish

there was something i wanted

as badly as he wanted to fry himself

-archy

My friends are wiser than me. Not hard, I know. But I collect them for their intellect, such as this:

Love is like a piñata - sometimes you swing and you miss and all you get is air, and you feel like a fool b/c your blindfolded and everyone is watching you miss; but every once in a while, when the timing is right, you swing, make a connection, and you the presents inside, which makes all of the foolish, blind swinging in the past seem worthwhile...

This is the most beautiful part of living in Northeast Ohio. The annual changing of the trees, when the greens slip into brilliant shades of yellows and reds and oranges before falling the ground. Enjoy it, Cleveland!

I bought 11 different types of oatmeal the other day. I don't like oatmeal, but I desperately want to. Oatmeal seems like the perfect winter breakfast. I thought, perhaps I can find a flavor of oatmeal I like. Yesterday's attempt (brown sugar) was really bad. Today's (strawberry) was even worse. The problem with this (obviously well thought out) strategy is what I don't like about oatmeal isn't the flavor, it's the texture. Though technically, the texture today was one solid rock. Yes, I have descended to the point where I cannot even cook oatmeal properly.

Jon Stewart:
And as long as it's not Watergate... [I think in this story is a lot of good news for the administration.] Hurray for the indictment! This is great news for the President. Whee! What an opportunity for President Bush! Not he gets to re-restore integrity to the White House!