So not that I'm behind the times or anything, but thumb or middle finger?

And don't get swayed by Bush's one fingered salute history as governor of Texas.

Yesterday my alarm went off. I groggily wake up. I'm not a morning person. By any stretch. They are playing a Christmas song on the radio. I'm confused, but stumble into the shower, convinced somehow that the Christmas music is a figment of my imagination.

I get out of the shower. The radio station is STILL playing Christmas music. The morning guys say that they will be playing Christmas music until Christmas day.

Despite the hour, I begin to think. No, it's summer time. I think. What if it's not? Maybe I was in a coma for five months?? (I'm still tired; logic isn't my strong point even when I'm well rested). Maybe it's really December and I just am losing my slim grip on reality. Maybe I'm in a parallel dimension? Maybe I'm just hearing what I want to hear and there really isn't Christmas music? Am I like Descartes, looking for ways to prove to myself that I never know when I'm dreaming or not?

People are calling in to request Christmas songs, and everyone is saying "Merry Christmas." I'm beyond confused. Clearly, people know something that I don't. I went to the window. No snow outside. No, I need more proof. I open the window.

D'oh! I have a security alarm. And now my security alarm is blasting. Loudly. Calling attention to the fact that I am standing in the window in a towel as well.

And then the security company calls, and I have to explain that I set the alarm off when I opened the window to see if it was December.

Yes, it was a great way to start the day. Practically flashing the neighbors, and scaring my security company. Thanks, 106.5.

A college friend and I were talking the other day. We concluded that there are two different types of people in relationships: chases and runners. Actually, I guess there are three different types of people. The third are masochists...They are the types who chase what they want, but know that they are never going to get what they want.

Anyway, I am a runner. It's in my nature. And I'm ok with that, for the most part. I am petrified at the thought of getting caught, and I don't have a great desire to chase anyone else. (Every so often I'll try on the masochist role, but that's more because I know that since they are runners themselves, it's safe for me. I can pretend to be all open and whatnot, without the risk. So I get to play the victim, and it's only those who really know me who can laugh and understand my motivation, that I would never chase if I thought that the guy didn't have even more issues than I do. I know it sounds impossible, but there are a few of them out there, and I try to save them all.)

So anyway, today at lunch, another college friend was talking about my tendency to run away. And she brought up a valid point - if I say that I want to one day (emphasis on "one day") get married and have kids, ummm.... I gotta stop running sooner or later. Cause that's not generally the first quality to a successful relationship. (For the record, I'm not opposed to relationships. I'm opposed to *me* in relationships. That one doesn't work so well. Though as she pointed out, how the hell would I know, because I stop them before they get to that level. The husband of another college friend commented that it appeared that I was scared to get hurt. Who needs therapists when you have friends who are willing to be honest with you?)

Anyway, her point. Very true. Very valid. And in order for my growth as an adult (as fucked up as the adult me may be) it is very important to have my friends challenge me -- and to be honest, she is one of only a few who will actually do so. (I said one of the FEW Alli, not the only one!!) So that's appreciated. Though I think I've done a magnificant job at being better in the last year at opening up and trusting people. Of course, that's sorta like someone with a batting average below the Mendoza Line considering it an accomplishment once they hit .200. It isn't exactly like I'm going to make the "Trusting People Hall of Fame" here or anything. So perhaps I shouldn't exactly pull a muscle patting myself on the back too much. But hey, at least the thought of getting caught doesn't send me twitching with convulsions in the fetal position, ready to slip into a coma at any moment anymore. That's progress, right?)

So where was I with this? Oh, yes, walls. I was talking to another friend last week about his particular walls, which prevent him from trusting people. Stereotypical walls. But I think that in some ways, mine are more complex, because they aren't as immediately apparent and then sucker punch people. I'm awesome at casual. (Note I did not say that my walls were "higher" or "worse" or anything like that. I'm not all Morrissey where I think that my devils are any worse than anyone else's demons. My best friend would never get away with that anyway. Her comment to me this week - not in reference to me but in reference to someone else - was that she hated when people thought that they were so much more complex and difficult than everyone else, because everyone else around them thinks the same thing as well. But my walls aren't any better or worse. But they are less apparent, which can be more complcated because others don't realize right away that I have walls - I appear to be relatively open.)

Where was I again? Oh, yes, my particlar issues. I do casual, and, as an extrovert (yes, I can accept it now. I've fought it for months, but I've come to accept it), people don't realize that that is the easy part. It's the next part that paralyzes me. Call it sorority girl formal rush mode (experience that I've needed to use on more than one first date...), but I can be all extroverted and tell stories and rant and all sorts of things (this also leads me to experience a totally different first date than the person I'm with. I may think it's the most painful experience of my life, ala formal rush, but the guy has no idea. Seriously, you all are clueless. But I digress.)

So my walls work in reverse, it makes me keep all sorts of people around me, so that at any time I can call up a dozen people that I don't really care about, so no one person is around with any real power or control over me. If there are 12 different people, my theory was that no one person could hurt you. You would care about them all equally, right?

I'm learning that might not be the case...

I wish I had some sort of conclusion for you all. Some sort of epiphany that made it worth reading this far b/c you realized that I had grown as an adult, right in front of your eyes.

I don't.

People people people! It's rec softball. Softball that you play so that you can go to the bars after you play. It's social, it's fun, let it go...

We won tonights game, 8-7. Except the other team accused us of cheating. They said that it was 7-7. We say that it is 8-7 us. They call us cheaters. We go get the scorebook, where we have what happened for every at bar. They look it over and insist that no, we only have 7, they know it. We only have 7. Despite the fact that our scorebook shows 8. They kept score too and know we have seven. Ok, let's see your playbook and sort this out. Umm...well, they don't keep a scorebook. WHAT?! So you are positive that our scorebook is wrong, but you don't have anything other than your fingers to count on? It's not even like they were arguing that they had 8 runs too (we don't keep their hits, just their score by innings). They argued that we had 7. Then they tried to argue that one of the girls (who hit second from last) didn't bad the first inning. True...we only had 5 people hit the first inning. What the fuck?

Didn't they see us celebrating in the bottom of the 6th inning when we scored our two runs? We were down 6-7 and thought that it was the last inning b/c the games are 7 innings or 1 hour, whatever came first. We scored thef irst and were celebrating, but when we scored the second, we started to walk onto the field. Why do they think that was? We thought that the game was over.

It was the most ridiculous thing that I've ever seen.

My lava lamp, one with blue liquid and white lava, is SO friggin' old that now it's more yellowish lava with clear liquid. I need to get a new lava lamp. I wonder why - I've only had it since I was 16. (It was the first purchase I ever made with my first paycheck from McDonalds. Money well spent - it's gone to college with me, law school with me, and is currently in my office at work. It's soothing and calming and lasted far longer than most of the stuff I spent my paycheck on...)

Wednesday. Soccer night. I joined two teams this season. Tonight I had a 6.30 game and an 8.30 game. So I thought that I'd have 7.30 to relax and whatnot. (Especially important b/c we had no subs for my 6.30 game.) But when the game was over (we lost, 4-5), I was talking to one of the guys on the team playing next (asking who won the champtionship - we lost to them in the finals, 1-0. They won the finals, 3-0 and said we were toughter. Sweet.) They asked if I changed teams, I said no, I was playing on two teams and my other team played at 8.30. So they asked if I was willing to play the 7.30 game b/c they were short girls and otherwise had to play a man down. (This was the team that has hurt me...twice.) As I figured they aren't going to hurt me while I'm playing with them, I agreed. But again, no female subs. For the love of God...Then at 8.30 was my original team. We had female subs, so I got to sub out the first half (though I played the entire second half). Let me just say, by the end of the game (1) I was gross and covered with so much sweat that I disgusted myself; (2) I was SO exhausted. My god, what was going through my mind??? But the most amazing thing? I played three games, and I didn't get hurt. At all. Of course, it was only the first week of the season. Give me time...

So it's John Roberts. No comment on another white male on the bench. Part of me is surpised that Bush didn't go for some sort of a minority - then again, why should I be? Interestingly:

Roberts has not been considered a "movement conservative," and in the past, some on the Republican Party's right have doubted his commitment to their cause.

Still, based on his political record, I think that conservatives will be pleased. (It's sad when your greatest hope is for a Souter...) Notably, he has argued in the past that Roe v. Wade should be overturned (in legal briefings). Two years ago, he indicated that he could abide by precedent. But what happens when he is on the SCOTUS and is not in charge of overturning precedent that he believes was incorrectly decided?

I suspect that since he is replacing O'Conner, the 5-4 decision suddenly 4-5... It greatly bothers me that he has an entire two years experience as a federal judge. This is a grave responsibility, there are only 9 such judges at a time, and you'd like to have more of a judicial record than two years.

He's young (50) and we can easily see him serving on the bench for 25 years. That can be a scary thought - still, he doesn't appear to be as crazy right wing as some that Bush could have picked.

And from all accounts, he's got legal skills - something that Thomas is sorely lacking. His credentials themselves aren't even close to questionable, which is more than I can say about several nominees that Bush has put forth for his administration. He has experience arguing before the SCOTUS. When Bush starts talking about Thomas as a model jurist, I worried. Especially with his track record of nominating unqualified idiots. I'll reserve judgement, say that it could be better, but it could certainly be a lot worse.

The Indians just traded Jody Gerut away. I anticipate this will make stalking Jody a bit harder now. I am most upset with them right now. Jody was most adorable. I mean, Grady Sizemore is adorable as well, but he's a child.


According to an NBC News/Wall Street Journal Poll, only 41 percent of Americans think President Bush is being "honest and straightforward," his lowest ranking as President. Gee, he started a war under false pretenses and the American public was much more forgiving. Think our priorities are screwed up?

I was in Buffalo at 12 today, and had to be in Cleveland by 3 for a softball game. Meanwhile, from Buffalo until about 10 miles outside of Cleveland, it was raining like the heavens opened. It was almost impossible to see out the windows. I'm thinking the entire 3 hours, "no way are we playing this game..." Turns out that it stopped raining early enough for them to buy some kitty litter and put it on the field. Yes, we are sure high tech...

Harry Potter was magnificant. Did you hear me?? Magnificant. Go buy it. However, I think that Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was overrated. In fact, Johnny Depp's performance reminded me of Michael Jackson. It was frightening. And not giving anything away, but the flashbacks annoyed me.

At the Harry Potter party Friday night before we got the book, there was a sorting hat ceremony. What does it say when I was happy to be placed in Slytherin?? I am evil.

So probably right now, but if not then real damn soon, my cousin, the one in Afghanistan, is getting on a plane. He lands in North Carolina in about 26 hours. He has spend more than 12 months in Afghanistan, and counting the time that his National Guard inactive squad was activated and in training, he's been serving his country almost 16 months. His committment to the military isn't over for another 5 months, so we are all obviously hoping that they don't activate his squad before that the end of December.

I guess that we can't see him for about another three weeks once he gets back (detox training - "it's not ok to shoot at people here") but I really don't give a damn. Just the fact that he is safe in this country, here, is really all that matters to our family right now.

Have you ever seen Labyrinth? You know, the 80s movie with David Bowie wearing spandex? Anyway, the girl (Jennifer Connelly) goes into this whole long speech, and the line she always forgets is, "you have no power over me." Do you ever want to say that to someone? And then you think, "oh, but I'd be lying." Or is that just me??

Watching Bernard Goldberg getting irritated with Jon Stewart on The Daily Show is awesome. I'll admit, I'm not a Bernard Goldberg fan, but really, he seems put out at Jon's comments. Though I'll concede that Jon was harsher than usual. At one point Goldberg looked over his back and asked who those people are (the audience). Jon answered that they were people who behind him who, Jon, like the person in front of him, didn't quite understand what Goldberg was talking about (with respect to the culture being more crass while the murder rate was down, drug use amongst teens was down, so what was the correlation to the culture being more crass.) Jon basically told him that he has all these liberals on his book (100 People Who Are Screwing Up America) while there are counterparts on the right who is the same and who aren't included.

Jon criticized the book for so much emphasis on culture rather than government. He said that the people on the list were largely powerless. I may want to check out the book to see who made the book. (I also want to read yesterday's book, Spanking the Donkey.)

Oh. My point. Goldberg looked most upset when he was trying to show the power of works, and was talking about a bigot channel. Jon said that there was - and then he wouldn't name Fox (come one, you know that's where he was going) and instead said NBC (though they do get hit with the all white network) and Goldberg was like, "you little..." and trailed off. He was pissed. It was making me laugh.

So I have a black eye now. I'm not kidding. Luckily, it's not below the eye, it's the eyelid. Which I know from experience is more painful b/c it hurts every time that you blink, but it's also less noticable. I don't get it people. It's SOCCER. Soccer. Really, there is no way that the hospital would believe that I'm not getting beat at home now. I'm covered in bruises in my legs and arms, and now a black eyes. I haven't had a black eye since I was 16 years old. This is a whole fun thing for me. The best part, the guy who gave it to me, his comment? Not "sorry," but "I swing my arms when I kick." Gee, you think?? I totally didn't see that coming. At least when I was 16, I knew when the hits were coming and prepared for them - both physically and emotionally.

So...The Cleveland Plain Dealer "outed" me. Somewhat. Evidentally, they picked up the jarts story (great, go for the one where I'm discussing illegal things that I did over my holiday weekend...) and published it. Sans name, plus website. Which I learned when a co-worker brought it to my attention. The trouble I manager to find...

Then I made a mistake at work. So I got called in to explain who I made the mistake in the first place. Umm...how many ways can I say, "There is no excuse for it?" NOT fun.

And go read Matt's post on Putting Freedom & Liberty To the Test. "It's terribly dismaying to see how our morals and righteousness fall apart during times of war." Seriously, go check it out. Now...What are you still doing reading this drivel? How do you spell drivel anyway?

A few thoughs. First, the All Star game in Detroit. (aka where the American League spanks the National League - when did the NL last win??) I personally think that someone in Detroit sold their soul to the devil. They get the Superbowl in less than a year too. Seriously. Sold their soul to the devil. Those two within a year? (And that's not even talking about the NBA finals this season.) So the three major sports, and they get the major events for each. I'm telling you, sold their soul...Then, the most home runs that Bobby Abreu has ever hit was 31 in a SEASON. Then he had 41 in the Home Run Derby. 41. Shit, boy, what are you eating? And where do I get some?

And my soccer schedule for the summer session was changed 3 times in less than 24 hours. Cleveland Plays has problems, I guess. Actually, they forgot to include teams and kept changing it. Problem: the second schedule worked best for me. I'm playing on two teams (b/c playing on one team worked out so well for me...) and initially I was just missing ONE game, and that's where my two teams played one another. I could make all others. Well, they decided to add a second field, which means that 3 of my games are at the SAME TIME. So...I am missing 4 games for my second team. That makes me truly sad. All I wanted to do in run around and kick a soccer ball. You know?

Notice how I haven't mentioned Rove at all?

So now I am 29. I don't feel any differently than I did at 28. This is the last July 10th of my 20s though.

Wedding this weekend. Maid of honor duties. I almost fell walking down the aisle once, and I almost fell over once when walking up the step and my shoe got caught on my dress. Luckily, I didn't actually fall either time. I think my friend would have killed me.

Though I got home today and realized that I am a shoe thief and that I took someone else's shoes and don't have my shoes. They were new shoes too. The sad thing - I wasn't even drunk. I was just distracted and packing fast (I didn't put them back on my feet, I just picked them up.) Now I have a random pair of shoes and don't have my shoes.

I have to find an answer to a question by 8 am tomorrow. Ugh. I hate working on nice, sunny days...It's 85 outside. There is NO excuse for not being happy outside...

Ummm...now Katie Holmes has lost her mind too. I know, I've never been a Tom Cruise fan, but still, it's like the cult of Cruise...

You have GOT to be kidding me.

NEW YORK (Reuters) - London was the scene of carnage on Thursday after a
series of deadly blasts but American R&B crooner Omarion, who suffered no
injury or inconvenience, wants people to pray for him.

"Omarion was in London during the tragic bombings that struck this
morning," a statement by the singer's publicist AR PR Marketing, released hours
after the bombings, said.

Making no mention of the fatalities or casualties of the blasts, the singer's statement concluded, "He would like his fans to pray that he has a safe trip and a safe return home. He appreciates your support."

Asked why anyone should pray for him, Gilmore said, "He wasn't hurt or anything, but just the fact that he was there and all that."

That is appalling. Every time I thin that celebrities can't get any more vain and self-centered, they do something that makes me realize that yes, they actually can.

So the office manager asked me if I wanted to go to lunch today to scope out a place for our holiday party. (I went with her last year to do the same thing.) I was disappointed because the location was supposed to be the Cleveland Browns locker room, which she said fell through. How disappointing! B/c how cool would that have been?

Anyway, we get there and they immediately take us to the garden out back. And they say, "at the big table." Where there are people sitting already. Then I realize that it is people from my firm. Which doesn't mean anything to me - several of us are checking out the place for the Christmas party. And when I have no reaction, they say "Happy Birthday." I'm still confused. Yes, this is a normal reaction for me. Seriously, I have never had a surprise birthday anything before. That was seriously awesome. One of the nicest things that anyone has ever done.

First, my thoughts go out to everyone in London right now. I'm not sure if this is tied to G8, making a point that they are not safe as a threat about the Olympics, as a warning at their involvement in Iraq and Afghanistan, and it doesn't really matter. My thoughts just go out to everyone there.

Second, after careful reflection, that guy who injured me at soccer and sent me to the emergency room, I totally do not believe that it was a clean play now. After watching him play last night (we played them again), he actually does push off when he's going for the ball, with his arm (not his shoulder, so it's a dirty, illegal play). Which is then consistent with my injury. Bastard.

AND I got hurt AGAIN last night. I never want to play this team again! I mean, this time I got kicked THROUGH my shin guard that made me come out of the came WITH 4 MINUTES LEFT in a game that we were losing 1-0 (and it was the a playoff game). By the time I got to the bleachers, I took off my shinguard, and I have a bump already. The bruise is about the size of my entire hand. Luckily, it's mostly bone that's bruised, so it's a faint bluish tint to it (rather than a dark color) but b/c it's all bone, it's really painful to walk. UGH. Does that team HATE me?

I need me some REM love. So on Saturday, I had people over for a BBQ/Live 8 listening to festival. (It was on the radio here, thankfully, b/c the MTV thing, which we TiVo'd, was awful.) Oh, and don't call the cops, but we had jarts. Seriously. Metal tip ones.

What do I do when the little 6 year old walks over to see what we are doing? Keep in mind that it's illegal to sell, own or play these things. So again, what do I do? After all, I'm an attorney. Well, I tell ya. I give them to her to throw. It wasn't as bad as that sounds, we had her stand about two feet away and toss them towards the ring. Still...my neighbor should never let his daughter come over again.

But anyway, I did get to see the REM performance on MTV. (My sister called me to tell me it was on and that was the entire reason I TiVo'd it, so I rewound it.) At least one of them (MTV sucks. Anyone else think that? Cause they kept cutting in at the end of the song. Did so to the best Killers song, did so to the REM song. UGH!) And the radio played the other two songs that REM performed.

Via the AOL Blog:

Their frontman, fit as a fiddle and confident in a dark blue suit and a bright blue shirt is made up with a thick stripe of electric blue powder that goes from ear to ear and that Pete Doherty could only aspire to.He walks up to the microphone “Hello we’re REM and this is what we do.” The band plays “Imitation of Life”, Mike Mill’s backing vocals in perfect harmony with Michael Stipe’s distinctive tone. This has been the best performance of the day so far and REM never wavers with “Everybody Hurts’ and, their favorite song to perform live, “Man On The Moon”. REM is one of those bands who, like U2, has never lost its freshness, bands who have had careers that span decades making music that inspire and move people all over the world. I am inspired and moved.

Yay! I personally felt that Michael Stipe's voice was a bit scratchy - probably from touring since October - but it was only super noticable on Everybody Hurts. (Which is on of MY favorite songs to hear live. Though I do love Man On The Moon - what they now close with, after they took away my other favorite song to hear live, It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine) Duh!) The scratchiness was also somewhat noticable in Rome. Not too bad, but it sounded like the beginning of a strained voice. Live 8 sounded like it was the worst of the scratchiness.

Tom Cruise is f*cking crazy. Flat out.

That said, the Free Katie stuff is humerous. I like the "A Few Good Meds: You Can't Handle The Truth" ones.

Three days of perfect weather in Cleveland (for the holiday, when is the last time that THAT happened?) and excellent baseball. And the fireworks show downtown after the game rocked as well. Waiting for them to start, I bought a child's Cleveland Browns hat, which actually fits my head. Lots of hotdogs and hamburgers, family and friends, picnics - does life get any better? Seriously? Because I doubt it.

So this week is the last week of soccer and softball. I wasn't sure what was going on, so I joined another team for soccer and softball (except this is Sundays now, double header games). Then my initial teams registered as well. So I am on two softball teams, one Thursday, one Sunday, and then two soccer teams, both Wednesday, in the same league. No idea what I am going to do when they play one another. Ideas? Do I go with my initial team? Or my second team who, to be quite honest, needs the players. I like my first team better (you always like your first the best...) We shall see. They will only play each other once or twice, except the playoffs.

From my grandmother, when I said I was going to see the fireworks. "By yourself?" (Yes) "Well, make sure you don't get robbed." I'm downtown Cleveland. There are cops everywhere. There are people everywhere. I'll make sure I'm not robbed Yiayia...

Hope that everyone had a safe and great 4th of July weekend. Did you know that today is my favorite day of the entire year? Cause it is. And now we start the countdown - just 5 days until my birthday. Yes, Saturday starts when I will start calling everything "the last ___ of my 20s." For example, this Thanksgiving, the last Thanksgiving on my 20s. You get the idea. I assume that I can be annoying with this for a year, easily. :)

Sandra O'Day O'Connor just retired...