I believe that tonight at 11 is the rerun of The Daily Show with the A Relatively Closer Look Hitler speech that I waxed poetically about. WATCH IT!

I must have this t-shirt.



If you must have it too, order here.

So...I got home today and my alarm was going off. So fucking annoying. It took me several phone calls and about 45 minutes to make the noise stop. I have the world's worst headache now.

I bought a purse from Caren and recommend that all do so. Proceeds to benefit the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. $35. Tempting, no? So go spend your money.

You know, I didn't listen to Bush's speech tonight. I think that's why I'm still in a decent mood at 10:58.

I got a $500 bill for when I went to the emergecy room. That is the part that *wasn't* covered by insurance. Yes, the entire bill was almost $7000. Ugh. All because of a soccer collision.

And I had a party with the mayor this evening. She gave a speech. It was actually a pretty focused speech. I was impressed with her. Cleveland has lots of problems, and she was highlighting them and why things are or are not a real problem.

Anyway, I'm still catching up on sleep, so I'm off to bed. More later.

So I've returned.

I spent the last six days in trial advocacy training. It was quite intense. As I said, I felt over my head on more than one occasion. At the end of the day, we hung. The frightening thing is, the jury knew that my team was the one with the flighty one on it...and they WEREN'T talking about me. If you would have told me that a week ago, I never would have believed it. As I was a last minute replacement for someone, I really feel that this guy OWES me. I mean, working with my co-counsel was hard. I had one of the jurors tell me that I was the best of the 4 attorneys. I had another juror (who voted against me) tell me that I was really good and should become a prosecutor. I heard from the Judge that I was too intense for this particular case. I had one of the witnesses tell me that she thought that if I had given the closing, that I would have been able to sway the one juror to my side. (You only need 3/4th). I'm not sure about that, but that was nice. The funny thing is, I wanted to be a prosecutor, I just can't afford to pay back my student loans if I were one. Depressing. Maybe they should make higher education cheaper. So anyway, back to the grind on Monday.

As I briefly mentioned last week, I've also lost my secretary (and not really seen her her last two weeks with the seminar and deposition). A new secretary starts this Friday, so it's only 4 days that I'm without I guess. But that means that I have a whole new secretary who doesn't know anything about how the firm works, and I of course know nothing about it b/c I just ask my secretary to take care of it. So this should be a fun experience...I will miss my secretary. I was SO exhausted from the past week but I briefly went out to the bars for her goodbye party. I'll be sad - good secretarys are hard to come by as well. I learned that in going through 4 of them before getting my secretary who just left. So yes, I'll be on secretary #6. And I think that I'm going to be temporarily reassigned, actually. So I'll quickly hit #6 and #7. My secretary had been with the firm for like 10 years - what were the odds? But it's a great opportunity for her, so I can't be all selfish and pouty. (Well, I guess she's gone now and won't know, so I can be selfish and pouty, can't I?)

My friend had a surprise 30th birthday party this weekend. I had friends in town, and another friend came to visit me so came to the party as well. So that was a good time. Not that I have any idea about anything though.

Other than that, between being gone on my vacation then a week back and then a week at the seminar, I totally feel like I'm not in any routine. I miss that. My sleep schedule is all messed up. I have no idea what's going on in the world. So I guess in some way, I will be glad to get back to "normal routine."

Anyway, I'm still tired - I'm heading to bed. I know, it's 10:00, what a loser. Oh well, I can accept that.

I was torn between five, so I did all five. Including the order I ultimately clicked on them in:

The first one:

You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant. Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle. You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs. For you, comfort and calm are very important. You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection. You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

The second one:

You are funky, outdoorsy, and down to earth. While you may not be a total hippie... You're definitely one of the most free spirited people around. You are very impulsive - every day is a new adventure. However, you do put some thought behind all your actions. Still, you do tend to shock and offend people from time to time!

The World's Shortest Personality Test

The third one:

You are sexy, powerful, and bold. You're full of passion and energy... Sometimes this passion has a dark side. You feel most alive when you're seducing someone. You never fail to get someone's attention. Quick minded, you're also quick to lose your temper!

The World's Shortest Personality Test

The fourth one:

You are dependable, popular, and observant. Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness. In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do. You are unique, creative, and expressive. You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while. And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!

The World's Shortest Personality Test

The fifth one:

You are dignified, spiritual, and wise. Always unsatisfied, you constantly try to better yourself. You are also a seeker of knowledge and often buried in books. You tend to be philosophical, looking for the big picture in life. You dream of inner peace for yourself, your friends, and the world. A good friend, you always give of yourself first.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

So in other news, we hung. I'll talk about that later. I got 9 hours of sleep last night. 9...9. That sounds so fantastic to me. Now, my house is a mess, I just cut my lawn, and I have 1001 things to do. Errands. I hate being an adult sometimes. But I get to drink tonight. I guess there are some advantages to being an adult...

I desperately need to get some sleep...I have had 3 hours or less 8 nights in a row. Now, I'm not a math major or anything, but that's 24 hours of sleep. I would prefer that in about 3 days, not 8 days.

So once I return to the land of normal, I will tell you all about this Trial Advocacy seminar I've been in. Actually, I'll mostly bitch about my partner and complain about my lack of sleep. I know, you all can't wait....

A few things:

(1) This cough has been going on for over a week with no end in sight. Wholly unacceptable. Damn transatlantic flights.

(2) I am so far in over my head that it's not even funny with this seminar I'm taking. I can't even hold my breath long enough to pull off competent for my 15 minute increments. Sad but true.

(3) I've allowed myself 3 hours of sleep for the past 4 nights (well, Friday night was 90 minutes, but I got a 90 minute nap on Saturday). I am literally exhausted on my feet, and feel that I Have no business being on a road. At the same time, I have no choice, and am desperately looking forward to Friday, when I can sleep more than 3 hours. Yes, this is going on for the next three nights still. :(

(4) This past weekend was...unexpected. In several ways. No commentary at this time as to whether that was good or not.

(5) My brother is offering advice on my dating relationships. Have I fallen so far?

(6) The Indians 9-game win streak ended last night. Despite a valient effort to come from behind, they lost, 9-10, to the Red Sox.

(7) Weather in Cleveland is supposed to get war again by this weekend. I know you all hate the 90 degrees with humidity - I love it.

(8) I better get a new screen door before then! My cat dove through it the other day trying to get some critter running around outside. I think it surprised him as much as it did me to find himself on the outside.

(9) What's with TDS showing last Tuesday's episode at 11:30 last night instead of last Thursday's episode. Dear TDS, umm...I made someone stay up until 11:30 pm last night to see it. This person had been at work at 3:30 that morning. They were wholly unamused with me.

Tagged by This is Ali:

What 5 Things do you miss about your childhood?

But first the rules to this meme game:

Remove the blog at #1 from the following list and bump every one up one place; add your blog's name in the #5 spot; link to each of the other blogs for the desired cross pollination effect.

1. Lu's News - http://luann919.blogspot.com
2. Marti - http://marti2212.blogspot.com/
3. Ivy Tied Up - http://www.ivytiedup.com
4. This is Ali - http://www.thisisali.com/weblog
5. End Of The World - http://andifeelfine.blogspot.com/

Next: select new friends to add to the pollen count. (No one is obligated to participate).

(1) Caren
(2) Sarah
(3) Matt
(4) Jason and Jason (is that cheating?)
(5) Eden
(6) Dennis! (I know, I was only supposed to have 5. Sue me.)

Your turn:

You know, this is hard, b/c I don't actually MISS things. I have lots of good memories associated with being a kid, but I don't MISS them. (Maybe b/c I'm still I kid? I don't know.)

1) I miss the neighborhood where I grew up. All our neighbors had a second fridge in the garage with a full keg in it and it was common for them to walk down the street with a cup and just stop in to talk (even if the person wasn't there, in which case they just took some beer and continued on the walk) and the holiday picnics that would spread over 3 yards, and playing sports in the street (I can't forget that; I still have scars on my knees from tackle football on concrete), bonfires inthe backyard, but since that was illegal unless you were cooking, taking a metal trash can and cooking corn.

2) I miss camping. We would go twice a year for a week each. I have lots of memories associated with that. The first time we went, all we had were two tents, three dads, five kids, and a cooler of beer and pop. That's it. We quickly figured out to buy firewood, but it started to rain. We had no idea what you do then. And no way to make coffee - the dads cut a beer can and boiled water over the fire on that. We got better at camping over the years. I promise.

3) I miss being able to tailgate before Indians or Browns games. The old stadium, while an awful venue for watching sporting events, was great for tailgating. We would have fun hours before and hours after the game. We would play soccer with a pop can. We would basically make a general ruckus. There isn't anywhere great to tailgate nowdays. Not like the main parking lot at old Municipal Stadium.

4) Every so often, I miss my friends who I have fallen out of touch with. I only talk to a handful of friends from before college still. It would be nice to reconnect. Oh, and my childhood pet.

5) I can't think of anything else that I miss.

That was actually hard. I don't miss that much about my childhood. I have fond memories about it but don't miss it.

Ok, The Daily Show today was the funniest thing that I've seen in a LONG time. Anytime the Patriot Act is defined for people ("sweeping counterterrorism measure carefully crafted to be just restrictive enough to inpinge upon civil liberties without actually helping") and the House Armed Services Committee Chairman not allowing people to take and hitting the gavel to end the meeting and walking away ("He literally took his gavel and went home. We are officially being governed by children."). And while all that is good and had me laughing, I was specifically talking about A Relatively Closer Look.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to call it. Tuesday afternoon, 2:43 pm, the debate over Guantamano has it's first official Hitler reference. Now we're getting somewhere. You know, I don't think someting can even be considered an issue or a debate in this country unless there has been a Hitler reference."

"These days when it comes to demonozing your enemies, there a certain someone whose name is on everyone's lips. ... Adolph Hitler, one of the worst mass murderers in all of history, has now become the go-to metaphorian comparison for anyone you have a disagreement with."

Of course, turning to the filibuster debate, when first Robert Byrd comparied the Republican's attempt to end the fillibuster to Hitler and the Holocaust. "You see what he did right there? He set up the moral equivalency between ending the filibuster and the Holocaust. That's personally offensive to me because my grandfather survived the filibuster." Then Santorum said that Byrd's comments 'lessened the decorum of the Senate' and then 2 months later, Santorum compared the Democrats arguments for the filibuster to Hitler. "It may look like hypocricy, but remember, in this case its Rick Santorium comparing the Democrats to Hitler. So you can see it's different"

"When you compare people to Hitler, you lose a little credibility. Plus, there are more civil ways of voicing disagreement to take that rhetoric down a notch. " Thus, Pat Buchanan comparing Teri Schiavo's husband to a nazi in general (as opposed to Hitler) was ok, so "noe we can discuss this at a a reasonable level."

But the best was the closing. "To sum up, please stop calling people Hitler when you disagree with them. It demeans you, it demeans your opponent, and to be honest, it demeans Hitler. That guy worked too many years too hard to be that evil to have any Tom, Dick, or Harry say, "hey, you're being Hitler." No. You know who was Hitler? Hitler!!"

This A Relatively Closer Look is the funnist thing I've seen in a LONG time. I keep rewinding it. I can't help it. Thank God for season pass of TiVo. I didn't do it justice. Catch the rerun in an hour, or Monday.

I saw lightening bugs last night. A few weeks earlier than I saw them last year. AND I bought a few packs of sparklers last night from the grocery store. (If anyone wants to know what gift to buy me for the first day of summer, sparklers always work.)

And what is the weather in Cleveland doing today? Umm...hello, I've got Dave Matthews tickets tonight. Outside. Please stop raining. Thanks for your consideration.

And I have to say, I am somewhat pleased to read this story. I know, I am a horrible person. But they tried to turn him into some evil man who abused his wife without any evidence, and the accusations were enough for him to receive death threats. And the brain damage was irreversible, despite what senators said. Yet even faced with that, the parents still argue that this shows what they have been saying. Umm....no, you have been saying that he abused her and that she was aware of what was going on. At this point, I just feel awful for him, who spent years being attacked at the same time he was trying to accept the fact that this wife was gone to him. Anyway, that's all I'm going to say about that.

Fun via Erin:

Pick a band/artist now answer the questions using ONLY song titles from the chosen band/artists…add your answers and repost…let’s see all the different bands and songs….get creative and have fun!

1. artist choice: REM

2. are you a male or female: Femme Fatal

3. describe yourself: Untitled

4. how do you feel about yourself: I Am Superman

5. describe your ex boyfriend/girlfriend: Tempted to go with Bang and Blame (sorry that was crude) but I’ll stick with Departure and Aftermath

6. describe your current boyfriend/girlfriend: The One I Love

7. describe your current location: Cuyahoga

8. describe where you want to be: Nightswimming

9. your best friend is: All The Right Friends

10. your favorite color: Electron Blue. Or Orange Crush. I was gonna say Beachball, but I figured that would just confuse you all. (Truly, my favorite color, as you all know, is red, orange, yellow, blue, black and brown.)

11. what’s the weather like: Some might say Burning Hell because it’s so hot, but I like that, so I’ll say Summer Turns To High, though sooner or later the thunderstorms are supposed to start (yay!) and then it gets cold (boo hiss) making it a Bad Day.

12. if your life was a television show what would it be called: It’s The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine) (come on, you knew that was coming)!

13. what is life to you: Crazy; Carnival of Sorts (tie)

14. what is the best advice you have to give: Everybody Hurts; Walk Unafraid (tie)

15. if you could change your name what would you change it to: You

My secretary, who has been at the firm for 10 years, just told me that she turned in her 2 weeks notice today.

This is truly a sad, sad day in my world...

I went thruogh 5 secertaries before I found a good one. And now...now I am abandoned to the lions and tigers and bears. Oh my...

Can you believe that I went halfway across the world, and REM didn't even sing It's The End Of The World As We Know It?? Seriously and truly?

More later. The flight from hell (a word of advice - never fly American Airlines.) Incompetence makes my blood boil. I learned that the French have never historically been our allies from an American in Paris. Went lots of places and saw lots of things. Oh, the places you can go. (And the work waiting for you when you return.)

So what happened in the world while I was away? (No CNN even...) Anything major?

So what did I learn last night? I learned that there is no way in hell that I can play 2 soccer games, back to back. After our game, there were 5 of us going out for drinks. Some guy walked up and said that they needed another guy and girl for their game. So I and another guy agreed to stay. Then the other team needed 2 girls. So the last guy decided to play too. So all 5 of us played a second game. Oh my gosh. No subs. It was quite painful. And funny cause we didn't know anyone on either team, and we were split up. The one team was wearing colors, the other team wearing white, and we were wearing our grey t-shits. So the other teams had no idea who was or wasn't on their team, and I kept passing to my teammates who were not my teammates in this particular game.

The good thing - we won the second game. Which made up for the fact that we got killed (KILLED) in our game. It was a massacre. So that made me feel better.

Ironically, the team that I was a free agent for, there was a girl on the team from my college (though she graduated 4 years later). You'd think she'd be friendly when I told her that I went there, especially as I was saving her team from having to forfeit, right? Absolutely not. She was most unfriendly.

Tonight I have a softball game. And I need to pack. Oh, but I can't pack until I do laundry cause I have no clean clothes to wear. I think I'm in trouble. I'm gonna be up all night (cause I'm going out for drinks after the game) getting ready for this trip. And I still don't have a hotel for Paris. D'oh!

So I have to let you all know something. I'm bisocial. "Bisociality is the potential for behaviors associated with more than one social interaction paradigm. A bisocial person may not be equally cool and dorky, and the degree may vary over a lifetime."

The sad thing is, I spend much of the day analyzing with my one friend (who is going to see REM with me) the distinction between dorks, nerds, geeks and freaks. My personal poison are dorks and freaks. The geeks never did it for me, and the nerds never really did either, although they are the sentimental favorites.

So what's your distinction? I suspect most of the people who read this fall into one of those categories. Personally, dorkiness permeates from me. I never sat at the cool kids lunch table. (Actually, not true, I sat at the "cool kids" lunch table in law school, which just goes to show how truly pathetic the competition in law school was like. (Perhaps I was just the dorkiest dork in law school, making me cool??)