I had an entire post and Blogger ate it. Damn Blogger. Blogger is not my friend. Blogger is the enemy.

So soccer was cancelled last night - AGAIN . Three straight weeks. I’m getting a little anxious. I mean, I wanna play, you know? I love kicking things. Football and softball are fun and all, but I love soccer. This is a travesty. I’m trying to be strong about it, but it’s just really hard, you know?

But that allowed me to go to the Indians game last night, as suite tickets were up for grabs. (Too bad you all don’t live here, the suite is a great place to watch the game. Especially when it’s cold and rainy.) :) Then again, it was a really BAD Indians game. Should we be concerned? This is the second time that Westbrook has gotten crushed by the Tigers. Now, the Tigers are the best offensive team in the AL right now I believe, and they are great low ball hitters (Westbrook is a ground ball pitcher) but (1) we see the irony, that the Tigers are the team that got Westbrook into the starting lineup and (2) that does not bode well, if Westbrook is either hurt, or teams have figured him out. I don’t know. AND I discovered the source of my irritation with the dessert cart. It’s not that they just stopped serving the strawberries with whipped cream (my favorite), it’s that they have a new catering company who is vastly unqualified. AND I’ve been to the suite twice this year, and haven’t had a drop of alcohol. (The hard liquor cabinet is now open - not just the beer and wine. For opening day, a named partner went to the game. He asked them to unlock the liquor cabinet. The woman replied, “I’ve been told by [our office manager] of [our firm name] not to open the liquor cabinet.” Named partner said, “I’m the [his last name] in [firm name.]” Didn’t work. Can you imagine?? So now it’s always open. Amaretto sours, for the taking, and none for me. Alas, life shall go on. We hope. (I think I’m in a more melodramatic mood that usual).

But anyway, there was this woman in the suite (a family member. She drove me up the wall. I was sitting on a chair, I got up to get a drink, and she took my chair. Later, she was outside talking to her husband, so I sat back down. But I sit on chairs, not in chairs. So I’m on the armrest. She comes back in and sits ON my legs. Unfortunately, she was an American Idol fan. You see, not only is American Idol the best show ever, but it’s also the number 1 show and has more than 36 million people watch a show. And if you bother to point out the facts, like Nielson’s disagrees and not only doesn’t have it ranked the #1 show, but that even the #1 show isn’t getting 36 million people a week, she replies that Nielsens are not accurate b/c Ryan Seacreast said so, and that CSI can’t be the #1 show because she doesn’t like CSI. Then I had to head how she should be a judge. How this is the best show to ever. How talented Ryan Seacreast is. Then I had to hear who was in the top however many, who was the best overall, the best each week, who looked nicest, what they sang each week, what the comments from the judges were. Then she started with past seasons. I’m not even paying attention to her and she’s still talking, like some sort of cricket in the background with their legs moving, except it’s her mouth moving and she’s nowhere near as calming as crickets. Though you did have the same desire to squish her. All this while she TURNED THE GAME OFF in the suite to watch American Idol. It’s a friggin’ baseball game. She said she wouldn’t have gone if she couldn’t watch AI. Well, I wouldn’t have gone if I thought that I did have to. She talked about who is doing the best after the show, how the show is rigged, how this and that - it was literally three hours of hell. I wish I was making this up, people. One of the associates said, “I’ve known her since I was a kid. I could tell you stories.” I replied, “I’ve spent an evening with her, so could I.” Have you ever heard of hell??

So I finally bought an iPod (I figured that I’d forgo the cuteness and go for ones that would give me any song I happened to want at any given time. I’m one of those people who, when I get an idea in my head, needs to satisfy that idea RIGHT NOW. So it holds 15,000 songs. I think that’s a good call - just the songs I *like* from my cds, not the entire cd, and I’m at 1286 songs. Oh, and I’m on the Cs. Though every REM song (all 263 of them) are already on the iTunes. But then I get to cds that, for the life of me, I have no idea why I bought. Today's entry: Candlebox. Seriously, anyone got any clarity?

I’ve got a Queen Medusa thing going on with my hair today. Not sexy. Not sexy at all.

And speaking of not sexy, Angelina Jolie, the most beautiful person? I just don’t get it. Maybe someone can explain it to me? She’s just...ick. I don’t get People magazine sometimes...

And what the fuck is up with gas going up 20 cents in just a few hours. From when I went to work to when I returned from work? That’s bullshit. See what happens when Bush starts holding hands with men??? (The two are clearly connected.)

And as an aside, has anyone ever heard of a British band called The Panic? I’m looking for a song that they sing (without any luck). Any help would be appreciated.

“President Bush will hold a prime time news conference Thursday to discuss two "important priorities" for the White House -- Social Security and energy -- a spokesman said.” So he’s gonna interrupt sweeps - starting tomorrow - to talk about his stupid social security plan that the public disagrees with? Just wanna make sure I understand what I plan to mock.

I promised I’d get to the story about my secretary who tried to fire me. I haven’t forgotten. I’ll get to it. It’s long and I don’t want to cheat you all (it was part of what Blogger ate, but it will take a while to rewrite.)

Finally, via Jason:



congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy
bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything.
You must be so proud


which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

It won’t let me learn what Greek God I am. No fair. I’ll see if it lets me later. But we learned that I’m a bitch who doesn’t give a damn what others thing...wait, I guess we didn’t learn that. We already knew that...

And THAT'S called an ass-whipping

Don't you feel bad for these attorneys??? This is a PUBLISHED opinion. Published. (In fact, it's my favorite opinion. It's better than the case where the court didn't have jurisdiction over Satan.)
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Before proceeding further, the Court notes that this case involves two extremely likable lawyers, who have together delivered some of the most amateurish pleadings ever to cross the hallowed causeway into Galveston, an effort which leads the Court to surmise but one plausible explanation. Both attorneys have obviously entered into a secret pact -- complete with hats, handshakes and cryptic words -- to draft their pleadings entirely in crayon on the back sides of gravy-stained paper place mats, in the hope that the Court would be so charmed by their child-like efforts that their utter dearth of legal authorities in their briefing would go unnoticed. Whatever actually occurred, the Court is now faced with the daunting task of deciphering their submissions. With Big chief tablet readied, thick black pencil in hand, and a devil-may-care laugh in the face of death, life on the razor's edge sense of exhiliration, the Court begins.
...
Defendant begins the descent into Alice's Wonderland by submitting a Motion that relies upon only one legal authority. The Motion cites a Fifth Circuit case which stands for the whopping proposition that a federal court sitting in Texas applies the Texas statutes of limitations to certain state and federal law claims. That is all well and good -- the Court is quite fond of the Erie doctrine; indeed there is talk of little else around both the Canal and this Court's water cooler. Defendant, however, does not even cite to Erie, but to a mere successor case, and further fails to even begin to analyze why the Court should approach the shores of Erie.

Finally, Defendant does not even provide a cite to its desired Texas limitation statute. A more bumbling approach is difficult to conceive -- but wait folks. There's More!
...
Plaintiff responds to this deft, yet minimalist analytical wizardry with an equally gossamer wisp of an argument, although Plaintiff does at least cite the federal limitations provision applicable to maritime tort claims. Naturally, Plaintiff also neglects to provide any analysis whatsoever of why his claim versus Defendant Phillips is a maritime action. Instead, Plaintiff "cites" to a single case from the Fourth Circuit.

Plaintiff's citation, however, points to a nonexistent Volume "1886" of the Federal Reporter Third Edition and neglects to provide a pinpoint citation for what, after being located, turned out to be a forty-page decision. Ultimately, to the Court's dismay after reviewing the opinion, it stands simply for the bombshell proposition that torts committed on navigable waters (in this case an alleged defamation committed by the controversial G. Gordon Liddy aboard a cruise ship at sea) require the application of general maritime rather than state tort law. See Wells v. Liddy, 186 F.3d 505, 524 (4th Cir. 1999) (What the ..)?!

The Court cannot even begin to comprehend why this case was selected for reference. It is almost as if Plaintiff's counsel chose the opinion by throwing long range darts at the Federal Reporter (remarkably enough hitting a nonexistent volume!). And though the Court often gives great heed to dicta from courts as far flung as those of Manitoba, it finds this case unpersuasive. There is nothing in Plaintiff's cited case about ingress or egress between a vessel and a dock, although counsel must have been thinking that Mr. Liddy must have had both ingress and egress from the cruise ship at some docking facility, before uttering his fateful words.
...
Despite the continued shortcomings of Plaintiff's supplemental submission, the Court commends Plaintiff for his vastly improved choice of crayon -- Brick Red is much easier on the eyes than Goldenrod, and stands out much better amidst the mustard splotched about Plaintiff's briefing. But at the end of the day, even if you put a calico dress on it and call it Florence, a pig is still a pig.

Now, alas, the Court must return to grownup land. As vaguely alluded to by the parties, the issue in this case turns upon which law -- state or maritime -- applies to each of Plaintiff's potential claims versus Defendant Phillips. And despite Plaintiff's and Defendant's joint, heroic efforts to obscure it, the answer to this question is readily ascertained.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

I'd be so embarassed...And if you want to know who counsel was:

For JOHN W BRADSHAW, plaintiff:
Harold Joseph Eisenman, Attorney at Law, Houston, TX.

For CORONADO, UNITY MARINE CORPORATION, INC., defendants:
Ronald L White, White Mackillop et al, Houston, TX.

For PHILLIPS PETROLEUM COMPANY, defendant:
Charles Wayne Lyman, Giessel Barker & Lyman, Houston, TX.

For UNITY MARINE CORPORATION, INC., cross-claimant:
Ronald L White, White Mackillop et al, Houston, TX.

For PHILLIPS PETROLEUM COMPANY, cross-defendant:
Charles Wayne Lyman, Giessel Barker & Lyman, Houston, TX.

So the snow melted. All 12 inches by me. I heard from others who got 18 inches that they still have some snow. I now am in possession of a lake in the midle of my backyard.

Administrative Professionals Day is tomorrow. I have been at the law firm for 36 months. (I'm going somewhere with this, I promise.) I have had my current secretary for 15 months. In my other 21 months, I had four OTHER secretaries. They were largely lacking, especially in comparison to my secretary now.

There was the secretary who told me it wasn’t her job to make me travel arrangements (when traveling for work) and that she didn’t proofread document. There was the secretary who quit after two weeks. There was the secretary who was on a different floor and never wanted to bring me my mail or anything because it was "inconvenient." And there was the secretary who tried to fire me. (If I’ve never told you that story, let me know. It’s fantastic. Short story: I believed it and went off on a senior partner. I believe the words, "so fuck your assignment" came out of my mouth.) So yeah, there may not be much of a comparison, but truly, my secretary rocks.

We are now 23 days in Star Wars...For those counting...I have to pull out all my movies and watch all 5 of them to start getting in the mood...

For those who knew I was ill yesterday, I'm feeling better, thanks. Still sore, but ok. Thanks.

I need to have things going on in the background while working. Today I found The Empire Strikes Back on tv. Yoda on my television; I'm so happy right now. (Empire is the Yoda movie.) :) "Difficult to see. Always in motion is the future." Yoda is my favorite philosopher. He even beats Plato. And the mystery, when ObiWan said that Luke was their last hope, and Yoda cryptically said, "No, there is another..." (Of course, I've always wondered about this: wouldn't ObiWan know about Leia?) (Does anyone else find Lule whiney in The Empire Strikes Back? He doesn't have the innocence the same way that he did in Star Wars, and he isn't the cool and collected Jedi in Return of the Jedi.)

So my football game was cancelled yesterday. Of course, *I* didn't know this, and drove all the way out there. Oh, well, it gave me time to listen to WTAM's discussion on the NFL draft, and to spend the day with my grandparents then. Best news of this weather: today, I don't have to mow my lawn. Something about a few inches of snow covering the ground. If course, my grass is really long, but that's ok. I can't be expected to cut grass under the snow. Right?

So I was disappointed that the Browns took a safety in the second round. Mainly b/c I wanted a kicker. Or a specific kicker. I've been praying to the church of Nugent so long, that I just wanted to keep on doing that. :( So does anyone else thing that Rodgers is gonna use yesterday's draft as motivation? As a big fuck you to a bunch of teams who let him slide to 24? Not that it's easy to replace Farve (impossible, I'd say), but at the same time, I wouldn't discount intensity and motivation, a chip on his shoulder. Clarett. I hope he fails. I know, I know, let it go, and because of him you won a national championshio, but I really don't like him.

And I think this was America's way of saying that they don't WANT to see any more of Ashton Kutcher, whether in a movie or his underwear. Thanksfully. Yes, I don't understand the appeal of Mr. Ashton Kutcher. I tried; I just don't get it.

And on other topics, what the hell is up with Poison's Brett Michaels singing country now?? Here's a secret. I was a skater chick when I was young. (OK, that part wasn't a secret.) I listened to alternative before it was alternative, wore flannel before it was cool, still have Converse that I wore in high school (the junior high Converse had to be thrown out) and wistfully recall my Vans. In my crew, the guys had longer hair than the girls. I had friends who were "vegans" and I never even knew what it was, other than they were the ones pushing uys to protest against cosmetic companies for animal testing. My music tastes, other than staples like REM (duh), The Cure, The Ramones, and Radiohead, extended to bands with names like The Dead Milkmen. (I still get happy whenever I hear "If you love somebody why not set them on fire..." which may explain my pyromaniac tendencies, but I digress.) College radio was a godsend. Black was a staple. This was all pre-Nirvana, so the rest of the world had no idea as to the wonderful life as a skater chick.

But always (the secret part), there was a part of me that adored the long hair 80s rock bands, especially when singing their ballods. This was something I kept secret from all my friends, as "punk" and Poison didn't exactly mesh well together. So it was a secret obsession. And once I got older (read: college) that love could be public. So everytime Every Rose Has It's Thorn or "When the Children Cry" or "Winds of Change" or any of the other songs by Guns n Roses, White Snake, etc comes on the radio, I can sing along. (Suprisingly, you don't hear I Hope That I Get Old Before I Die on the radio that often. But again, I digress.) Anyway, the fact that Poison's lead man is going country just feels like abandonment to me.

Via Eden

If any of these men showed up on my doorstep late one evening, I would...

Shag in bold.
Shag after a few drinks in italics.
Shag me not (or don't know them) left alone.

1. Stephen Dorff
2. Wesley Snipes
3. Denzel Washington
4. Samuel L Jackson
5. Hayden Christensen
6. Ian Somerhalder
7. James Van Der Beek
8. Ashton Kutcher
9. Seann William Scott
10. The Rock
11. Brendan Fraser
12. Oded Fehr
13. John Hannah
14. Hugh Grant
15. Colin Firth
16. Liam Neeson
17. Daniel Day-Lewis
18. Leonardo DiCaprio
19. Billy Zane
20. Harry Connick Jr
21. Sean Astin
22. Dominic Monaghan
23. Karl Urban
24. Vin Diesel
25. Paul Walker
26. Joshua Jackson
27. James Marsden
28. Shawn Ashmore
29. Hugh Jackman
30. Will Kemp
31. David Wenham
32. Viggo Mortensen
33. Elijah Wood
34. Tobey Maguire
35. James Franco
36. Alfred Molina
37. Harrison Ford
38. Sean Connery
39. Shane West
40. Stuart Townsend
41. Richard Roxburgh
42. Ewan McGregor
43. Jonathan Rhys Meyers
44. Christian Bale
45. Jared Leto
46. Colin Farell
47. Ben Affleck
48. Josh Hartnett
49. Bruce Willis
50. Billy Bob Thornton
51. Dennis Quaid
52. Jake Gyllenhaal
53. Patrick Swayze
54. Keanu Reeves
55. Gary Oldman
56. Tim Roth
57. Steve Buscemi
58. Michael Madsen
59. Rick Yune
60. Pierce Brosnan
61. Robert Carlyle
62. Jonny Lee Miller
63. Jude Law
64. Matt Damon
65. Clive Owen
66. Ryan Phillippe
67. Benicio Del Toro
68. Johnny Depp
69. Orlando Bloom
70. Sean Bean
71. Eric Bana
72. Brad Pitt
73. George Clooney
74. Mark Wahlberg
75. Jason Statham
76. Edward Norton
77. Ben Stiller
78. Owen Wilson
79. Vince Vaughn
80. Joaquin Phoenix
81. Russell Crowe
82. Billy Boyd
83. Paul Bettany
84. Heath Ledger
85. Mel Gibson
86. Jason Isaacs
87. Alan Rickman
88. Kevin Costner
89. Christian Slater
90. Antonio Banderas
91. Tom Cruise
92. Ving Rhames
93. John Cusack
94. John Malkovich
95. Charlie Sheen
96. Kiefer Sutherland
97. Emilio Estevez
98. Rob Lowe
99. Matt Dillon
100. Kevin Bacon
101. Adam Brody
102. Andy Serkis
103. Alan Cumming
104. Josh Groban
105. Sean Biggerstaff
106. Zack Braff
107. Harry Sinclair
108. Gerard Butler
109. Marton Csokas
110. Jeremy Sumpter
111. Sean Patrick Flanery
112. Cillian Murphy
113. Hugh Dancy
114. Ioan Gruffudd
115. Mads Mikkelsen
116. Adrien Brody
117. James Marsters

Like Eden, I have no friggin' idea who a lot of them are (at least by name). What's with all the Scottish and English people on the list though.


Ok, I'm off to go play football in the mud. That's gonna make the ball really easy to catch...Hell, it makes it hard to throw. (I'm only the "gender" quarterback on my drives; there is another girl who is "gender" quarterback when she is on the field. In my opinion, she is a better quarterback than our two male quarterbacks. We've scored 1 TD in our two games. She threw it. And rather than be overly close, it was a 10-15 yard TD. She also got the extra point.)

Actual commentary when I stopped in the office to pick something up last night: "Please tell me that you didn’t wear a cashmere shirt to your softball game." Ok, I don’t tell you. That doesn’t mean that I didn’t do it, just that I won’t share that with you. Evidently, this isn’t done? (Actually, it was b/c I only had a t-shirt, and it was really cold (and windy) out last night and that was the only long sleeved shirt I had in my car. (Sadly, it's there because on the nights when I spent the night at work I didn't want to have to wear the same clothes on day 2. But I digress. Though what better use of cashmere? It makes me itch anyway.)

I’ve slowly been bringing my cd collection to work to download onto my computer. Can anyone explain why I have what I thought was the entire collection of Billboards, from 1962-1989, but appear to in fact be missing years 1973 and 1974. Or a better question - why did I go through a phase (sophomore year of college it was, I believe) when I felt that I needed to get every one of Billboards Annual CDs??

When you work in a predominantly Jewish law firm (at least among the partners; the associates do not seem to be), it's relatively empty the night before Passover begins. (I know a few felt cheated b/c Passover fell on a weekend.)

Oh, and Wickman blew his second save of the season. Hmm...that's not good at all. Of course, my softball team blew a save last night too - we lost in the bottom of the 7th. Now, keep in mind that I haven't played in a softball game in years. And by that, I mean more than 10. As in yes, not since high school. Now imagine me holding a bat for the first time in years (I did go to the batting cages in 2000 when I lived in NYC - my roommate found batting cages and we went.) The first pitch I felt was high (the fucking thing WAS high, it wasn't a feeling. It flat out was high.) It was called a strike. And then he says, "1-2." WTF?? Last night I learned that in softball leagues, you start with a 1-1 pitch count. Don't quite have a rationale I accept about this. But whatever. This threw me, and caused me to swing at a second pitch WAY out of the strike zone. I was beyond irritated.

This other team was MAJOR into it. We were just sort of walking onto the field, walking over to a position, when on the bench drinking (we had a cooler of beer). We were batting, then trying to remember who we batted after. At one point, they started squawking that we batted out of order. They had a book with our linup in it, what we hit last time, where we played each inning, etc. YIKES! Seriously, this is rec people. REC! (Yes, I don't like to lose, but I don't like to take it as life and death either.)

I paid the $15 for the MLB Radio broadcast of all games. So I’ll listen to games in the afternoon. I gotta say this, for those of you outside of Cleveland - I’m really sorry. Your announcers suck. And this isn’t just because Tom Hamilton rocks, you announcers really suck. Though the Cardinal’s announcer, "There she goes!" for a HR was kinda fun. Not like, "A swing and a drive..." but fun.

Today, I mentioned to someone that my cousin was in Afghanistan. This person - a college educated, intelligent person - said, "now? Why is he in Afghanistan?" I said he was in the military. He says (rather condescendingly, I might add), "Oh, you mean Iraq." Umm...no, I don’t. But thank you for showing me that I need not waste any more time or energy on you. You’ve been a big help.

Dumb move of the day (so far): Was eating a life saver. Put it on my tongue ring to have fun. Got stuck on my tongue ring. Had to wait a few minutes while it disintegrated (I think I could have pulled it off my tongue ring, but a quick test showed that my tongue moved too.) Mental note: don’t ever take LifeSavers on a day you have to go to court...

My soccer game was cancelled last night. No fair. I was all ready. Sometimes about the hazards of playing in thunder and lightening? I don’t know, it seems perfectly safe to me. I mean, I’d be wearing shin guards. And according to Jim, it’s gonna SNOW this weekend. (Actually, this isn’t according to Jim. It’s according to the weather man. It was just the first time I heard that.) I can’t be that upset - it’s April. This has been a fantastic April. Yes, we have all that snow on the 2nd and 3rd, but it was melted by the 4th, and it’s been fantastic since then, until today. Sunny. (I seriously thing we just have our average number of sunny days per year in the month of April) and warm. But still. Snow. (I’d only point out that when we got that huge snowfall at the beginning of the month, my friend said, "at least it’s the last snowfall of the year" and I said, "no, we are good for one more." I love being right.)

Some news:
Connecticut approved same-sex civil unions. Oh, I do so love it when Republicans get that little vein on their forehead ready to burst. The funny thing is, they push for states’ rights, but the moment that a state does something they don’t like, they start howling about it? So how long will be before they start to rediscuss the constitutional amendment?

Still, Texas is doing good by them. "It is our responsibility to make sure that we protect our most vulnerable children, and I don't think we are doing that if we allow a foster parent that is homosexual or bisexual," said Republican Rep. Robert Talton, who introduced the amendment. Arkansas has a similar law, but it was struck down as unconstitutional. (So naturally, it becomes something to copy.)

And oh, God, save us. Rice for President? Nyet Nyet Nyet!! (And why would that little girl want to be like Rice??)

And his faulty English? Give me a break.

And how much of my tax dollars went for this study? Let me help - I don’t care why the a few popcorn kernels don’t pop.

Finally, you smell that in the air? It’s the smell of Republicans trying to push their nuclear option through. Over Priscilla Owens and Janice Rogers Brown, two of the ten nominees that Democrats have blocked. This is not going to be a pretty fight, and I fear that the Republicans have the votes to do so. The interesting thing will be the long term effects. When the Democrats retake control of the Senate (and the ultimately will; politics is cyclical), the Republicans will be injured by their own rules. Long term, it’s disastrous for themselves. Short term its disastrous for the Democrats, And overall, it’s disastrous for the country.

First, from Cleveland Chaos, I totally want these two t-shrits:








I have no idea why these quizzes are so fun to me. (Probably because I'm a dork.) But, via Matthew:


You are 'Gregg shorthand'. Originally designed to
enable people to write faster, it is also very
useful for writing things which one does not
want other people to read, inasmuch as almost
no one knows shorthand any more.

You know how important it is to do things
efficiently and on time. You also value your
privacy, and (unlike some people) you do not
pretend to be friends with just everyone; that
would be ridiculous. When you do make friends,
you take them seriously, and faithfully keep
what they confide in you to yourself.
Unfortunately, the work which you do (which is
very important, of course) sometimes keeps you
away from social activities, and you are often
lonely. Your problem is that Gregg shorthand
has been obsolete for a long time.


What obsolete skill are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


And via Melyssa:

Your Linguistic Profile:

80% General American English

10% Upper Midwestern

5% Dixie

5% Midwestern

0% Yankee

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Really?? Only 5% midwestern? I doubt that.

Now this is a woman who loves her cat. Don't get me wrong, I love my cats too. Here's my question- what is a bobcat doing in the middle of suburbia? I have difficulty surviving at age 28 - can you imagine doing so at 90?! Do you ever read a story, and it makes you feel like a wimp? This was that story.

Looks like Bolton's nomination as U.N. ambassador has hit a slight snag. Due to Ohio's Republican Senator. I must confess, I'm puzzled. He's unqualified but Rice was qualified?? Not that I disagree that their assessment that he's unqualified, I just can't, for the life of me, figure out how she was qualified and, other than Boxer, had no real opposition. (OK, and Kerry, who was just doing it for the attention.) (Oh, and can I say that Boxer rules?)

So I have to call into a CLE in half an hour (but I don't get CLE credit for it, b/c Ohio doesn't recognize the ABA CLE classes as legitimate. I know, I can't explain it either.) Anyway, this is for a non-billable project (I'm back on the Jackson decision.) Meanwhile, there is a position statement that I have to do by Monday.

Oh, and I got my tickets to Italy yesterday! I did thrww in few extra days in Paris. I've never been to Paris. So I'm most excited. That means that I won't get to Venice when in Italy, but I've been there before. So that's cool. I'll arrive in Paris on Saturday morning, and leave for Italy on Wednesday morning. So I'll have three and a half days to explore. Then I'll have until Sunday morning in Italy - three and a half days there. So, yay.

The Indians managed to lose to the Royals. Just let that sink in for a moment.

I have a craving for ice cream right now. Hmm...as I'm lactose intolerant, that's most inconvenient. Does anyone else ever crave something that you know will make you sick? (I can be an obnoxious non-smoker and make a comment, but I won't.)

I am a TAR fan. (In fact, may go to TARcon next month.) But that Gretchen's voice drives me up the wall. Is she EVER not whining? And usually, you have a soft spot for the oldest team, just because they are competing against teams 1/3 of their age. But I just can't support them b/c her voice drives me UP THE WALL. Just my unsolicitated opinion. I was really looking forward to them being kicked off. Gak.

Wait, now we want to be overweight? I can't keep up. "The new analysis found that obesity - being extremely overweight - is indisputably lethal. But like several recent smaller studies, it found that people who are modestly overweight actually have a lower risk of death than those of normal weight."

Enjoying all the opinions on the iPod situation. As Jennie pointed out, I have TONS of CDs which I adore. And tons more CDs with a song or two that I adore. I adore music; I have emotional attachments to it. Certain songs take me back. Even BAD songs. The only new cd I purchased lately has been The Killers. It's all old stuff. I know, I know, I get all emotionally attached. What I was thinking is that I wanted something to last the plane ride to Europe. I don't know. (Then I gotta figure out how to charge it in Europe. Oh, the details in life!)

Sure, now that it's over, NOW the Cavs win...Bastards. I mean, a free fall such as this hasn't been seen since, oh, the last Cleveland team to freefall. Take your pick. The Indians in '97. The Browns (countless times.) Geesh.

OH! Did everyone notice last night that The Daily Show said the words, "my Yoda."

I don't have transitions, do I? Just random thoughts, one after another, without any connection to anything. Hmm...kinda like life.

So the old guy is now Pope Benedict XVI. (The Cardinal formerly known as Joseph Ratzinger). Again, I wonder how long the tenture of this Pope, who is already 78, can be. Cartainly not the 26 years of Pope John Paul II. And Ir ealize this is an American thing, but I think the name Benedict brings up negative mental images.Arnold and all.

I learned today that there is at least some debate as to whether someone who is gay can bring a same sex harassment claim against someone of the opposite sex. That seems weird to me.

Also, it's 80 outside today. Today I have a meeting and will be trapped inside. Tomorrow a cold front is coming in. I have soccer and will be in nylon shorts. Thursday it will rain. I have softball. See a pattern?

So if I were in the market for an iPod, and they come in different sizes and whatnot, what size should I get? Some come in multiple colors, and they all hold different amounts and it's very confusing to me. Since the people at the store aren't helpful at all, I thought I'd ask you all.

And I may go to NYC for a quick trip in a few weeks...will keep you posted. (My friend wants to go to TARcon. But if I go, there are things I want to do that she has no interest in, that being see my friends who still live there. And she wants to spend all night at this TARcon, meaning I wouldn't see my friends. See the drama?? But I haven't seen my friends in a long time. And if I'm there, it seems so silly.

I also think I'm going to Paris. It's actually cheaper to fly to Paris, then get a flight Paris to Rome. So I figured, hell, I might as well spend a few days in Paris first before I go to Rome. After all, if I come to work that week at all, I'm fired, so I've got to be out of town anyway. And I've never been to Paris (whereas I have been to Rome. And Florence and Venice.) I need to order those plane tickets soon - you are talking just over a month and it's getting expenise.

And in ONE MONTH from today, Star Wars opens...

I totally want to live on Dork Street. How friggin' cool is that?

So my lawn. I tackled it yesterday. Bought gas to put in the mower. Managed to get it started on the first (well, second) try. (What I recently learned was, I'd try it once, not get it, press the button a few more times, and ultimately flood it. So we are trying not to flood it. My biggest problem was that it had rained a bit, so the grass was wet, and then the bag filled up much more quickly than usual (I have gone my entire front yard and then changed the bag - this time I had to change the bag three times with the front yard.) So a few times, the grass would literally spit up at me because the bag was full (how am I supposed to know that to stop the regurgitation?) But here's what I decided. No more barefeet. First, I got a few splinters - the backyard is full of tree branches, which wasn't a problem last summer. Second, I got lots of thorn prickers in my feet and those HURT. Evidentally, my evergreen sheds them?? Who knew? Third, and most disturbingly, my feet seem to be permanently stained green. Didn't come out yesterday or today. Should I use soap other than Zest? ('Cause you're not fully clean unless you're Zest fully clean.) This is quite disturbing...I'm taking on a Yoda-ish hue.

OH! And the lawn nazi, who paid people to cut his grass last year, appears to be cutting the grass on his own this year. He bought a lawn mower (the same one that I bought, actually) and was cutting his grass on Sunday. I wonder what's up with that??? As I was cutting my grass, he walked over and said, "yeah, I thought, "we really need to get our lawns in order." Umm...I just want to cut my lawn. If there is more order to that, I don't care about that. I'm a simple girl.


I've been listening to the radio - which I almost never do - since 8:00 am this morning. It's 11:48 right now (not sure when I'll get around to publishing, but right now it is) and it's the second time I've heard Since You've Been Gone by the American Idol Kelly girl. Umm...irritation. THIS is why I never listen to the radio.

And looks like the Republicans play to go ahead with the filibuster fight. Again, 10 total blocked judges, compared to 64 under Clinton. (Don't worry - I'm not going to go into all that again.) And to argue that "judicial filibusters are being used "against people of faith," I'd only remind the Republicans that the government is actually supposed to be separate from faith. (That's kinda personal. Faith, I mean.) So to say that religious judges who plan to impose their religion in their decisions have a right to serve as a federal judge ignores the First Amendment. But what do I know - I forget that the Second Amendment is somehow more important than the First Amendment. (Maybe it's the First (When Convenient) Idea, and the Second (No Exception) Untimatum?)

So with them Cardinals voting on a Pope, it occurred to me. One of the leading candidates was black. (Cardinal Francis Arinze, 72). I just wonder whether the world is all ready for a black Pope. Has there ever been a black pope before? (Other leading candidates are Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger of Germany (he's 78, how long could his tenture be?), Cardnal Jorge Bergoglio, 68; Cardinal Godfroed Dammeels, 71; Cardinal Ivan Sias, 68 (who is Indian); Cardinal Claudio Hummes, 70; Cardinal Walter Kasper, 71; Cardinal Noberto Carrera, 62 (Mexican); Cardinan Camillo Ruini, 73; Cardinal Christoph Schonborn, 60; and Cardinal Dionigo Tettamanzi, 70.) On an offnote, they say that Cardinal Schonborn has almost no chance b/c he's only 60...but if PJPII was '84 when he died, and if he's been Pope since '78, well, he was younger, no (my math is bad.) If not, it's close.

And trivia: what was Pope John Paul II's name before he became Pope? Cardinal Karol Wojtyla. See, don't you feel better for having known that?

I think there should be Vegas betting: Who will become Pope? What name will he choose? (John Paul III is too easy, no? Gotta pick something else.)

Recently, Tadvent said:

If the right guy with the right personality and the right career and the right cologne and the right smile and the right paycheck and the right look comes around you will date the "RIGHT".

Please don't count people out because they don't agree with you, how boring is a relationship when all you do is sit around and agree with one another. Isn't excluding someone because they have differnt political views prejudice?

First, how horribly sexist.

I don't have an idea of a "right" or "wrong" career or paycheck. I make enough not to care what his career is or how much he makes. It's the great thing about being self-sufficient.

And for looks and cologne and style, I may have a preference (dark "artsy" hair - it's easier to point out than describe, but hang out with me a few times and you'll be able to pick them out too. My secretary can - artistic political type, and Coolwater), but I'm not by any means exclusive with that.

And what exactly is "right" smile? Seriously, I'm not that shallow.

Finally, political values. I don't think this is shallow. I think that this is compatible views of the world. Eden put it fantastically: "this person would have to be fundamentally opposed to many things I hold dear."


They don't have to agree with me on everything. You are right. That is boring. HOWEVER, on fundamental things, I will absolutely exclude someone. It's too important to me. If you really wanted kids, you'd exclude women who were adament against having children. There are certain things that one MUST make a decision on. Politics is mine.

I'm not opposed to conservative friends. I even have a few of them. But I'd be absolutely opposed to a spouse who was conservative. On HOW the world should work, how kids should be raised, how others should be treated, what matters in life, yes, I need to agree with someone. So sorry to disillusion you - I never have, and never will, date the right. And it's not like I'd meet someone and fall for them know knowing. I know usually with the first meeting, but certainly never longer than the third, what their political belief system is and what issues matter to them the most. Call it screening, whatever, I really don't care. I can promise you, not matter what he looked like or what his sense of style was, no matter what job he had or how much he earned, I have never and will never date a conservative. Their "personality" could never be "right" for me.

Via Matt:

Who should I vote for?

Your expected outcome:

Liberal Democrat

Your actual outcome:

Labour -12
Conservative -25
	Liberal Democrat 44
	UK Independence Party 12
	Green 27

You should vote: Liberal Democrat

The LibDems take a strong stand against tax cuts and a strong one in favour of public services: they would make long-term residential care for the elderly free across the UK, and scrap university tuition fees. They are in favour of a ban on smoking in public places, but would relax laws on cannabis. They propose to change vehicle taxation to be based on usage rather than ownership.

Take the test at Who Should You Vote For

I guessed right. Until the vehicle taxation stuff.

I was actually looking forward to being a loser last night. My Saturday was already completely booked, sun up to sun down, and I want to enjoy Sunday rather than have things that I *have* to do (errands I ignored last week b/c it was so beautiful out like shopping, cleaning, wash, etc). So I figured I'd spend my Friday night getting things done. I know, I know, you all are jealous of my uber exciting life. Cleaning and wash on Friday nights. Try not to get too envious. I know it will be hard.

Unfortunately, I was handed some Indians tickets for last night. (OK, it's not all that "unfortunate" at all.) For the suite. So how can you turn that down? Yes, I'm in a skirt and a short sleeve shirt (isn't that he correct "baseball in April" attire??) Baseball, sun (our suite is on the third base side), baseball (even Jody Gerutless baseball)...nothing is better. (It was a little chilly with that wind, so I actually didn't venture outside but stayed in the suite.) It was the fourth home game and the season, and the first time I had an opportunity to go. Now I'm not complainin' or nothing, but after 4 games last year, I had already been to 2 games. Anyway, the game (and I'm sure that Kevin is jealous - and I know, I know, I still have to get to my Indians analysis. For those who may not know, Kevin and I have a bet going as to who will win the AL Central.) The Indians lost 3-2, but Westbrook actually outpitched Santana. But at the same time, it was Westbrook's own error that led to two unearned runs. Westbrook got stronger as the night went on, while Santana got hit, hard. Watching him last night, you wouldn't believe that he has won 15 staight decisions. He was getting hit hard. HOWEVER, do NOT underestimate the magnitide of winning 15 straight decisions. You'd have to have a bad game now and then when luck comes into play during that string.)

Afterwards, I was forced to go to West 6th. I am still dragging. (Just back to take a shower before I head out to football. Why the shower before football? Because I have dinner plans half an hour after football ends, and won't get a chance to shower. Won't my friends love me? But I can't breathe right now b/c of the cigarette smoke, I feel hung over despite the fact that I didn't drink, still with a headache from the music.)

But now, I have a laundry list of things I need to do. Including mow the lawn. When we last saw her, she was struggling with mowing the lawn. Will she figure out how to start the mower this year? Has she conditioned herself mentally for the struggle? Will she remember to hold that lever-y thing so that it moves on its own and she doesn't have to manually push it? Will she wear shoes? Will she step in skunk shit again? Tune in for the answer to these questions and more...

And it's my friend's birthday today. He's 34. Please, everyone, head on over and wish him a happy birthday!

You know how, you meet someone and you think, "I could like this person." So you give out your cell number. Maybe your work number. And your email address.

And all is good at first, yay, the early feelings of contentment as whatnot. You guys communicate often. Forging a relationship. Get to know each other better. Discuss your opinions. The way that you see the world.

And then something happens, and you know it's over, but they refuse to accept that it's over. They keep calling. And writing. And you don't respond anymore; you don't want to lead them on. You don't want to be mean, but they sure are irritating you. You regret giving them your contact information. You'd totally change it, if it wasn't a pain in the ass for everyone else. You are starting to feel clausterphobic. Smothered.



That's how I now feel about John Kerry. He keeps emailing me. He just won't stop. I regret giving him my email address. I just want to tell him, "John, give it up. It's over. It's been over for months now. Go on with your life. Forget about me."

So my best friend told me last night that I'm unlovable and that I won't be married by the time I'm 54. Then she was going to toss me out with the trash. Merely because I said that I'd write off a guy who voted for Bush.


I was talking to a friend at dinner last night about whether third parties could ever be a viable option. I said yes; he argued no. My argument was that the moderates have the numbers to make a competitive third party. The conservatives neocons in charge of the Republicans are currently so far right, and the liberals are somewhat left. (It's not too left for me, but it is to the average moderate voter, or so I've been told.) But there are moderate conservatives and moderate liberals, and if they fragmented from their respective parties, they would be a strong third party - the party of moderates. Not sure what the get called. The Democrans? The Republicrats? Can't you just see the negative campaigning? But I digress.

But, I can see his point (who ever said I wasn't open minded...oh, wait, that was me), that the moderates would lack the necessary financial support. They wouldn't get all the big business money that the neocons get, or the moderate amount of big business money, but more important the millions of far left desperate for a change donors that the liberal liberals get. They lack the ability to get people to care enough to finance them, they aren't all about one side or other other to get the support of the respective businesses, even though they represent the interests of the majority of the people.

Then, ironically last night, Jon Stewart pointed out that the centers don't care as much as the crazies. I'd actually agree with that - on both sides. (I concede that I'd be defined as one of the crazies.) But moderates, almost by definition, don't care about most things. They don't have passion on the issues.


So Ohio wants to put "under God" on license plates. And even scarier - right now a poll shows that 80% of the people would pay the extra $10 to get this license plate. And people wonder why we suffer from road rage. It's not being cut off or passed or tailgated. It's being forced to deal with crazies with their conservative and hypocritical bumper stickers and license plates.


Some other random news. A radio host was fired for daring to ask the question - Did the Pope go to Heaven?? Hmmm...I've heard worse on the radio. We are out of control right now. Need more proof? A high school freshman was suspended for wearing makeup - namely lipstick and eye makeup. It's part of his Wiccan beliefs. And since girls are allowed to wear makeup, and this is America, he's suing.


And for the person who Googled me requesting, "Is the World really going to end or is this a lie?" I promise you, one day your world will end. The world will likely continue to go on. Really, do people think that they are going to find those answers on the internet? Some Doomsday group out in California said that yesterday was going to be the end of the world. It's just a poorly conceived hypothesis. Like gravity.


Finally, I don't think I've mentioned this year, but Connie Schultz, who I have mentioned several times, won the Pulitzer Prize for commentary this year. You can read the ten award winning articles here. I've said it countless times before, and I'll say it again...she is brilliant. (Online, they used to only have a 30 day archive, and they now have a 180-day archive.)

So I had a random question. How do you feel about dating someone with the same name as your parents? That is just really weird for me, and I wondered if that was a me thing, or whether it was just weird. Opinions??

Last night I was at work late. I don’t like the lights in my office; they are florescent and hurt my eyes and give me a headache. I have a desk lamp I use at night; during the day I just use natural sunlight. So I was in my office, and the cleaning lady - not realizing that I was here - walked in. She jumped when she saw me, but told me that she was just coming to get some peanuts. So now they are for the managing partner AND the cleaning staff...

I saw comedian Robert Dubac last weekend at the Akron Civic Center (a simply stunning building inside. The nicest theatre I've ever been in. Truth.) But if anyone has the opportunity to see his show, I highly recommend it. HIGHLY. It’s about the difference between men and women. And both sexes end up enjoying it. He is writing a new show, Piss and Moan, and did part of that. The ABCs of Religion. My favorite was "T," the one thing that they all have in common - tax free. It was very clever. I highly recommend him if he comes to your town...

Yikes! Ontario Empoblog was discussing Google Local. It's kinda frightening how easy it is. I don't want to be that accessible in life!

I bought a Yoda pen!!






The next time Yoda calls to give me an assignment, I am so going to take the pen to copiously take down what he says...



I am such a dork, I know.

So in my "let’s go outside and do work" yesterday, all the neighbors came out of hibernation, and I actually met three of my neighbors. One is 77 and was complaining about the fact that in the last year, five houses have turned over with people "about your age" (please insert the appropriate dismayed disgust there) and she doesn’t like change. Umm...how does one respond to that? "I’m sorry?" She’s basically saying that she hates new people to one of the new people. I really have a warm and fuzzy feeling now. Another is 87. She explained to me that she is older than she looks. Not one to disagree with old ladies, I nodded my head. Another is a young couple, I’d guess 2 years older than me, with a 2 year old daughter who has recently learned the joy of the word, "no." She is adorable. Her name, she told me, is no.

Anyway, this causes the return of the lawn nazi, who commented that neither of the old ladies have ever introduced themselves to him (he moved in about three months before I did). But he made the comment that I really need to get my lawn and my shrubs in order. (I haven't moved my lawn or cut the shrubs since the first or second weekend in November...of course, it was bloody winter. Give me a break. And let us recall that LAST weekend, my lawn was still covered by 7 inches of snow!! I'm just friggin' happy that I've managed to pick up all of the tree branches in my backyard and that I've raked my lawn (to get rid of the winter mold). Give me a break. And I feel awful, because he's such a nice guy. But really, grass manages to grow just fine when we humans don't get in the way. Still manages to shake off the winter blahs and turn vibrantly green and all. Though I guess it's my own fault; I've moved into a neighborhood where everyone pays someone to mow their lawn and all other landscaping.

And, how smart am I? It was jeans day at work today, but I wore a skirt and a tank top. So needless to say, I don't want much clothing touching certain parts of me. BUT I printed out more Lexis cases, and went to my window ledge and sat on the window ledge with the sun on me (I don't *think* I can get sunburnt through the glass. What do I know. It was warm.) Besides, I had the green goo next to me, as well as aloe spray, so I was able to periodically cover myself in goop. It wasn't as nice as yesterday, but the wind was chilly today, it was only in the 50s or so (we never reached our high of 60 today) so it was probably nicer being inside with the sun beating on me. But yes...I'm an idiot. It just, it was such a LONG winter...

I am SO sunburnt right now. I love saying that. It's Cleveland, it's April, and I'm sunburnt. For real sunburnt, from the sun, not a tanning bed thing. (Oh, come on. When I said that it was going to be nice out, did you *really* think I was going into the office today??) I *did* read 382 pages of caselaw outside though (Didn't find my answer. Due Tuesday by noon. Ugh!!) I got up at 9, was outside set up by 9:30. By 10 or 10:30, I felt myself getting sunburnt. Now, anyone with the common sense of, say, a housefly, would realize, "maybe I should get out of the sun." Or even, "maybe I should put on some SPF lotion" (which I don't own anyway.) But not me. No, I stayed out until 5 pm. So I'm red.

I'm intrigued by this, I really am. I got sunburnt in Greece and it killed. I got sunburnt last year briefly and it faded into a suntan and it was all ok. I got a tad bit pink on Wednesday but it was gone by Thursday am. But I can tell that this is gonna be bad. I can feel the head radiating off my body. Yes, I have having hot flashes. 28, and I'm suffering from hot flashes... But it's weird. I out my hand to my skin, and it gets warm. No kidding. So tonight I bought myself some green goo for the sunburn now, and some SPF lotion for the next time. No. I never learn. It's less the "tan" part, and more that I literally love the feel of warm sun on me. It warms me from the inside out. I guess that I just wasn't expecting to be sunburnt in April. :) But I have to face the truth; my days of never being sunburnt no matter how long I was outside in the sun are over. I can turn red nowdays. Sad but true.

Tonight I went to the Cuyahoga County Democrats Annual Dinner. (It was a good thing; it's the only reason I got out of the sun at 5.) Jerry Springer spoke; this is now the third or fourth time I've heard him speak in less than a year. I think I've already mentioned that the one time I heard him speak in October I didn't like his speech. (I found his "solution" for the state of Ohio way too simplistic.) Mayor Campbell was supposed to speak, but ran out of there in a hurry. They later said that one of her daughters was in an accident. So I hope that her daughter is ok.

Now, I'm heading to bed. I need to get up early in the morning. And go to work. But it will only be 50.

OH!! The lawn nazi is back!! I'll try to remember to tell you that story tomorrow...

My first football game was today. It was great weather today - mid 60s. So I loved being outside. BUT...my football team is not very good. Actually, "not very good" is generous to how we play. We are awful. I think that the score was about 30-0. And it wasn't as close as the score indicates. Understand that I hate losing. I am not a good loser. It doesn't matter that this is a recreational league that doesn't really affect anything in my life. I hate losing. To add insult to injury, I threw an interception, which really steamed me. (The regular QB (a guy) threw 3 interceptions, so I don't really see me as the sole reason we lost. And I caught the passes that were thrown to me. But alas...didn't do much good.

But there was this girl on the other team who was built like a truck. I'm not judging, understand, but this is part of the story. Anyway, I'm covering her and she was obviously the intended receiver on the play b/c she was actively trying to get open, and so she (INTENTIONALLY) stepped on my foot in order to get open. Oh. My. God. It's touch football, I wasn't expecting to get injured!!

Tomorrow is going to be almost 70, but I have to go to the office and work. :( No. Fair. Then, I have a dinner for work at 6. It's one of those things where the firm buys a big table for a lot of money, and then says, "please fill the table associates!!" On.A.Sunday.Night. My day AWAY from work, now suddenly filled with work. These are the things that I didn't realize were part of my job when I started looking at firms. The dinners, the smoozing, the feigning interest to delevop business, aka stuff that I am NOT good at. Also on work related stuff, I hate it when people that I'm not friends with think that we are friends and force the issue. (And I hate not being able to rant about it properly, for fear that someone from work will discover this.)

I am not sure how I feel about the Revelations tv show that NBC keeps promoting. I've read Revelations - it's not a fun book of the Bible. Kinda scary and all. Plus, it's somewhat depressing. If I want to watch scary, depressing things, I'll catch a Browns game. Or, hell, and Indians game. Or, yes, a Cavs game (LeBron got another triple double today. So the Cavs managed to win for the 5th time in 15 games. Woo hoo.) (Speaking of train wrecks, umm...the Mets? Might become the first team out of it a week into the season...) And Carlos Silva of the Twins is going on the DL until likely at least the All-Star break (hey, around the time I start stalking Jody Gerut...You know, it occurs to me that if he ever Googles his name, he is SO getting a restraining order out against me.) Further proof that Selig is a moron. Asshole.

I had the worst dream last night that I wasn't able to go to the REM concert in Italy because I was called to donate bone marrow. I really hope that wasn't some sort of foreshadowing! They already cancelled in the concert in October that I had tickets to, that would be too cruel. Maybe I should temporarily take myself off the registry, just to make sure??

Wow. According to Jason, 40% of Americans Don't Know Which Party Controls Congress. You know, every time that I think that the avarage American can't be as dumb as I think that they are, they do something like this...Of course, we get 50% of the population voting as well.

I ran into an aunt early today at the grocery store. We are talking ("How's your grandparents? You mom? Gosh, I haven't seen them in three weeks. Is everything ok?") and she says to me, "Did you ever think about going to Greece?" Well, yes, I thought about it after I passed the bar exam. As a matter of fact, I actually did it then. "No, no, no. Not to visit. For work." Well, I guess my work doesn't take me to Greece that often. I work with US discrimination statutes. "No, I mean to find a Greek husband." Oh, god, shoot me. First, even if I was husband shopping, which I have to point out that I'm not, why on earth would I have to go to Greece to find one? That seems, a bit, excessive. And I'd only point out that my aunt isn't that much older than me. Maybe 15 years? Less than 20. I remember her wedding. Oh, and even better, she's not blood related to me. She married into our family. My uncle is related to me. And, (the best part) she's not even Greek. But whatever. I know, I know, I'm the big disappointment in the family. I'm the second oldest non-married and childess niece/grandchild/cousin. (And the oldest is my cousin in Afghanistan, who has an excuse. For now.) Do you think that if I were to have a child, they'd get off my back? (I can just see head spinning...that might totally be worth it. Oh, who am I kidding? I'm way too selfish for a child right now. But hey, at least I know my limitations, right?)

I was at a Young Professional meeting the other day, and the conversation turned to cell phones. Or, more accurately, cell phone phone books. The "order" that people's cells numbers are in. One person had their significant other number 37, something that evidently wasn't necessarily positive. It was humerous to us, except...

I have a secret. My parents and siblings are 1-4. After that, it gets random, much in the order that I entered them in on or loosely grouped. "Law school people" "College people" "Old people" "Some relatives." EXCEPT I leave #7 blank. That way, I can put crush of the moment as #7. Which is my favorite number. So when they fall out of the #7 hole, well, that's when it's done. They just become #82 or something random like that.


Well, I'm already paying $2.33 for gas now, what's another 2 cents??

Hot Brother is dead. I'm in mourning. Black black me. (Well, my socks are black and blue.) He died on Smallville, he died on Lost. Every time I get an opportunity to see him, they kill him. I had been trying to prepare for it, but I was still deeply affected. And now Lost isn't on for weeks. Until May. What the fuck is up with that??

The Indians bullpen starts right up where it left last season. By that, I mean blowing saves. On the plus side, our starters (the #2 and #3 starters) appeared strong against an offensive team.

I can support extending Dayling Savings time. I'm so much happier when it's light later rather than earlier, when I'm not up. Of course, not everyone recognizes DST, so does that assume that it will? And isn't that kinda like spitting against the wind anyway? I guess I don't see the "solve the energy crisis by moving Daylight Saving time" thing gonna work. That's a pretty feeble attempt.

It’s spring time in Cleveland. Know how I know? Not only because all the snow that covered my lawn is melted, including the five foot pile where my driveway was plowed and the snow was pushed, but because I’m sitting on my picnic table, in my crazy creek, wearing sunglasses, shorts a tank top, and a bandana right now, with my laptop on the table surrounded by Lexis cases I printed last night. Yes, this was planned. Ahh the beauty behind being 28…

I figured, there were two days LAST week where it was 70 (Wednesday and Thrusday) and I worked. Didn’t enjoy them. Nope. (And, adding insult to injury, worked on a NON BILLABLE project, but I digress.) Then, on my days off over the weekend, we had The Belated April Fool’s Blizzard. Well fuck that. That ain’t happening to me again. I said, “Spring, you give me a 70 degree day again, and I promise to make good use of it. I promise that I will enjoy it. I won’t take it for granted.”

In my entire time at work (ok, only 2½ years, but still) I have never ONCE taken off in the middle of the week for any reason. That’s because I’ve only been “can’t go to work sick” once, and I was out five days that time (and still went back before I should have) and every other day I’ve worked from home or just not felt like going in, it’s “conveniently” been a Friday. So I’ve never not gone to work on a day that didn’t make it a long weekend for me. But a first time for everything. After all, a promise is a promise.

What I was most amazed about is, I FORGOT what 70 degrees felt like. How warm the sun is. How nice it is. I can’t believe I forgot this feeling. It’s one of those pure contentment things that you swear, “I will never forget how wonderful this is” and then, as time goes on and the snow never melts and turns black or yellow, it sorta slips from your mind. You recall things like “spring” and “summer” and “sun” and “warmth,” but you don’t really remember them in the same way. That feeling is lost. Like, I forgot that, despite being Mediterranean and all, and not having any freckles on my face, the first time I’m out in the sun, I’ll get them on my arm. I forgot that when it’s warm out, you don’t want pop, you want Lemonade. That 70 degrees can feel really really warm when you’ve been used to 30, even though if it’s only 70 in August, I’m wearing jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt or summer sweater. I forgot the “warm spring” spells. I forgot all of that.

Until today. And as it’s early spring, I saw the squirrels romping, hear the birds chirping. And the treated me as if I was just part of the picnic table I was sitting on. No threat to them.

Cleveland this time of year is truly magnificent. Yes. I complained about the snow that buried us this weekend, but like I said last week, this is the time of year when spring just kicks winter’s ass. Winter may get in a few (sucker) punches (he’s dirty that way) and spring may fall to her knees for a moment, but then she rises again. She lures him into a sense of security, then just fucks with his masterpiece. (“You wanna bury NEOH with snow. Yeah, that ain’t gonna work for me. Let’s see, a few 70 degree days and – oh – where did your snow go?”) And really, where ELSE can you have 70 degrees Wednesday and Thursday, then 20 and 30 degrees with at least seven inches of snow Saturday and Sunday, and then 70 degrees on Tuesday and Wednesday again? Only April in Cleveland can deliver that. (Or Cleveland in May…or September…or October…even on occasion in November, December, January, February, or March…though in those months, it’s more like winter is having his way with the warm weather. The bastard. But I can affirmatively state, and you can write it down as a “truism,” I think we are safe from “the s word” in June, July, and August.)

Big Brothers Big Sisters Bowl for Kids Sake

I PROMISE this is the only time that I'll ask, or even bring it up, but on Friday, April 29th, I'm planning to Bowl For Kids Sake. All (tax deductible!) donations go to Big Brothers Big Sisters of Greater Cleveland. I *love* this organization; I was a Big Sister through college and when I lived in PA (unfortunately, I don't have a schedule that permits me to be a Big Sister now and dedicate the time committement, and most importantly, to be consistent. I hate that about being a lawyer.) But I digress; if anyone is interested and/or willing to donate online, I think you'll be taken to my page if you click here.

And I encourge other Clevelanders to sign up as well. If you sign up, I'll support you as well...enticing, no? :)

(For the record, this is my Good Friday. Which means I'll be late for church that night. Which means...my mom is gonna kick my ass. Wanna take bets on it?)


ETA: I guess that it just takes you to the main BBBS page. :( And if you do a search for me, multiple *me's* come up. So if you let me know, I can send you an email direct response.

Seriously, I don't know what else God can do to convince Prince Charles that he should not marry Camilla....

Speaking of marriage:

Cousins' marriage highlights relationship controversy

It began as the kind of childhood crush that often becomes family lore shared at reunions years later.

Eventually, first cousins Donald W. Andrews Sr. and Eleanore Amrhein realized they had a deeper love and wanted to wed. It couldn't happen in their home state of Pennsylvania, though, or 23 other states that prohibit first cousins from marrying each other.

Instead, they tied the knot in Maryland last month.

Well, then...I guess this is one of those things that I can't understand. They are your relatives. You love them, but you aren't *in* love with them. It's all very Flowers In The Attic to me... Part of me understands that the additional risk of birth defects is only 2-3% higher. It's not a guarantee. But first, it's an unnecessary risk (and inbreeding dogs makes them stupider; why wouldn't the same be true about humans?). Second, there are more than 6 billion people in the world, you can't find someone you aren't related to?

So March Madness is finally over, with NC beating Illinois in the final minutes. It got interesting at the end of the game, but I have to say, the first half, and even a large part of the second half, that was the MOST BORING GAME EVER. Part of me would have liked Illinois to win, just so THE ONLY game that they lost the entire season was to Ohio State. But I guess we can't all have what we want. I did not do well on any of my brackets. Of course, picking Syracuse in the Championship game wasn't my smartest move...But I still did better than the advice I got...

As we know, this is one of my favorite times of the year...baseball season. The big story this year: Will Ichiro hit .400?? Other less important stories: Will Bonds come back this season (11 away from Ruth.) Steroids. Ahh...I do love my baseball.

But what is this about this being the final year for St. Louis' Busch Stadium? Damn. First, how did I miss that? Second, I don't have TIME to get to a game there, BUT on my quest to hit every stadium, I have no choice. Grr...I hit Veterans Stadium the season before it was demolished, and I even went to Montreal before the Expos became the Nationals. What choice do I have?? (OK, I need about 2 weeks and just hit a bunch of stadiums, I know. Rather than this 1 a year approach I've been doing. I hit 1 a year, but they built a new stadium so it's like nothing got done.)

Peter Jennings has lung cancer. To be honest, I'm not a huge Peter Jennings fan but it does seem like the end of the anchor era. I guess he'll still be anchoring, but you understand what I mean.

And the picture of the Pope dressed in that red and white outfit. I am sorry; I know this is awful and I'm going to hell, but he looks like Santa Claus.

I feel somewhat guilty. Having a blog called "It's The End Of The World As We Know It," you wouldn't believe some of the hits I get. From people truly concerned if the world is going to end. These people are looking to me for guidance. I ain't got it. I have discussed the Pope in general. After the Pope's death, I got swamped. I guess that Nostradamus said something about a certain number of popes before the world would end?? Or at least that's the rumor. (It's so hard to tell what are real Nostradamus predictions and which are pretend nowdays.) But I had no idea about that before I started getting all of these hits. It's not as good as the day I got a hit for "oral sex blog" but the fate of the world is far more consistent with my hits. At least 5 daily, generally. Really, there are, like, 1001 different predictions about when the world will end (or when it should have ended). If there was one glaringly obvious one, we'd all know by now, right? Other than that, I'd think that almost any day can be the end of the world. I'm an optimist that way. I wish I had a more academic answer for you, but I just don't.

And Kevin's Indians request. For those who aren't baseball fans, he's assuming that the Twins win again. Hmm...I would not be so confident if I were him...I shall discuss this later. I promise. But...you like to bet...what to put some money where your confidence is??

I guess I'm not going to know the next Pope. After learning that the only rules to become Pope were to be a single Catholic male, I spoke with my friends who I knew were Catholic. None seem to believe that the Cardinals will be discussing their name next week. I got responses from "since 1378 it's always been a Cardinal" to the most popular response, "but I don't believe in God and/or the Catholic Church and/or I'm not a virgin" (that last part was NOT one of the requirements that I heard, just unmarried) to -- my personal favorite -- "I got married two weeks ago." Umm...why wasn't I invited? "We met three weeks ago; we flew to Vegas." What?!? That's awesome...Still a little miffed I didn't get a 10 pm phone call, but whatever.


But here's my question for all. It occurred to me this morning that I can't even commit to a radio station. This perhaps comes as no surprise to those who actually know me, but whenever a commercial comes on, rather than wait out the 2 minutes, I have to change the channel. If a song I don't want to hear comes on, channel changes. I can't stay on one channel, even my favorite. This has led me to conclude this morning that the only thing that I *am* capable of committing to long term are my sports teams. But my question was whether others did this with the radio as well.


And finally, Clevelanders (actually, this is regional buzz)! This Saturday starts Body Worlds II at The Great Lakes Science Center. This is an exhibition of real human bodies preserved by by plastination (which I know almost nothing about). It opened its US tour in LA, where, because of demand, the exhibit was open 24/7 explosion. The traffic jams to get off on the exit was awful even by LA standards, and there were more than five-hour long lines. See here.

For those who have followed the debate over pharmacists who refuse to sell women contraceptives based on "personal convictions."

CHICAGO -- Governor Rod R. Blagojevich of Illinois issued an emergency rule yesterday that would require pharmacies to accept and fill prescriptions for contraceptives without delay, after a growing number of complaints nationwide that some pharmacists are refusing to dispense birth control pills and the ''morning-after" pill. He also established a toll-free number that residents can call to report refusals by pharmacies. Reproductive rights groups heralded the action.

From here.

This was a courageous move. The wackos right now may be a minority, but they are just ... louder. Basically, pharmacists refusing to sell something that is legal because they don't personally agree with it...what if a pharmacist is a Christian Scientist, who doesn't believe in any type of medication, just prayer? Can they refuse to fill a penicillin prescription based on their "personal convictions?" I wonder how, once it starts, you control what types of "personal convictions" are sufficient and which aren't?

(Oh, and in case you wanted another reason to hate WalMart, "Our pharmacists may
decline to fill a prescription based on personal convictions.")

OK, my open challenge to winter...I take it back! You've made your point; I bow down to you. Please stop snowing! We are up to 5 inches today, with 2-12 inches expected overnight, depending on where you are in the snowbelt.

P.S. This means that the winter of 2004-2005 is the new Cleveland record for the most snowfall. We are at 103.2 inches as of 5 pm today. Blah.

AND my first football game was cancelled today. They didn't want to ruin the fields by playing in the slush and snow. I felt somewhat bad for everyone who had participated in the scavenger hunt today, running through the slush and snow for 4 hours taking pictures. We were frozen, and we (who planned the hunt) just walked from the first bar (where we got there at 10:30 for registration and yes, started drinking) to a second bar (for lunch where we continued drinking) back to the first bar. And that was about two blocks.

I left the bar around 8 pm. Some were still drinking and being social. I was *wiped* after drinking since 10:30 and whatnot, and the roads have been bad all day so I'd rather be home before I get tired. I get home and there is NO power in my house. I'm all irritated. First, I can't get my car in the garage then. Second, um...it's dark in my house. Third, the basketball game. Fourth, it's COLD in my house (I learned, today, that when the power goes out, I have no heat. This never occurred to me because I have gas heat. But evidently, gas heat uses an electric fan to push it. Thus, I get charged twice for heat, one for electricity, and once for gas. That's wrong.) Where was it? Oh, yeah, if I was going to come home to a dark house I would have stayed at the bar and continued drinking. Grr...Thankfully, it came on after about half an hour.

And the Pope died. That's the best day of his life, right?? The day he ascends to Heaven? We should be celebrating that he's dead? Right? I look at the Pope as the principal of the school - he makes the rules that the entire school has to follow. The teachers at the school - like the cardinals in the church - enforce those rules. Anyway, that's how I see it. Maybe it's because I'm not Catholic. But back to my point. Other than the fact that the Pope is old and had been sick for a long time and is finally out of pain, the "goal" of his life is going to Heaven. Yay, he did so today.

And via Dunner, check out this living will for a good laugh.

I have been compelled by recent events to prepare a more detailed advance directive dealing with end-of-life issues. Here's what mine says.
...
I want my wife to ruin the rest of her life by maintaining an interminable vigil at my bedside. I'd be really jealous if she waited less than a decade to start dating again or otherwise rebuilding a semblance of a normal life.
...
I'm not insisting on this as part of my directive, but it would be nice if Congress passed a "Bobby's Law" that applied only to me and ignored the medical needs of tens of millions of other Americans without adequate health coverage.
...
Because I think I would retain my sense of humor even in a persistent vegetative state, I'd want President Bush - the same guy who publicly mocked Karla Faye Tucker when signing off on her death warrant as governor of Texas - to claim he was intervening in my case because it is always best "to err on the side of life."
...

Seriously, check out the rest. It's well worth the read.

Via Caren:



You will be sucked dry by a leech. I'd stay away
from swimming holes, and stick to good old
cement. Even if it does hurt like hell when
your toe scrapes the bottom.


What horrible Edward Gorey Death will you die?
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Personally, I was hoping for death by gin...